Well....I've finally come out to my family about me being gay and they said...- Page 2

[SallyBrown]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:58pm

Um - it's this thing that shows up in the sky after a storm and it features many different pretty colors. That's a rainbow.



hehehehehehe


actually, I'm not sure how the rainbow is supposed to mean gay pride either. but there you go.

[Beergoggles]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:58pm

everyones a comedian!

[SallyBrown]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:59pm

It's okay Beergoggles, I know you know what a rainbow is. That's all that matters, my opinion.

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 8:00pm

mbp... happy pride day. Coming out is never easy.

I'm gonna try to word this as well as I can... be patient with your dad. You are asking someone for whom being gay is the worse thing, probably, that his son can be, to suddenly accept it. That takes a lot of processing. Be patient. Give him time. Let him see you and your bf lead a happy life. Hopefully, he'll come around.

When I came out, the two people I thought would handle it the best, my mom and my sister, were the ones that freaked out. My dad was just "he's still my son, nothing has changed". After a couple of years things chilled, but we didn't speak about it. It wasn't until I was in a LTR and my parents saw our relationship as stable and normal as my other siblings that they were totally ok with it. Now, almost 20 years later, we have a wonderful relationship.

[amasis]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 8:01pm

Like what Rath said... Unless they have been suspecting this for a long time, and have thought extensively on what exact words they will use and how they will react when you finally tell them, then I think you have to allow the people finding out some time to adjust. The understanding and patience have to be present on both sides.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 8:01pm

I agree with then....this is also very upsetting for your father, and you have to give him time. Jumping down his throat doesn't help the issue.
One step at a time. You've given them plenty to digest......DON'T GIVE THEM ANY MORE NOW.
He'll come around, in his own time........kudos for telling them, that takes guts

[morebroadwayplease]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 8:04pm

I know, geez it was nerve racking.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 8:06pm

http://www-2.cs.cmu.edu/afs/cs.cmu.edu/user/scotts/bulgarians/rainbow-flag.html

That should give you the answer as to why a rainbow.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 8:07pm

daydreamer my Dad was the same way, totally not phased, and my mother freaked...and I expected the opposite too.

[SallyBrown]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 8:07pm

AHH thank you jrb

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 8:15pm

People never seem to amaze me... it's surprising how many times I've thought someone will be ok with it and they totally freak out, and vice versa.

Fortunately, coming out as POZ did not meet any resistance, all of my family (including extended) and friends were super supporting. Of course there was the original shock, but never negative.

[CatieElphie1]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 8:32pm

well, props to you for trusting your family, finally, and I think that props are in order for sharing with us too.

[cturtle]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 8:34pm

my mom has had the tougher time than my stepdad also. one thing to keep in mind ... it may not be something that you can ever really talk about very openly with your family. i've never been able to do so with mine, and i've been out to them for 8 years. initially i wanted to talk about it ... i wanted to be very open. yes, they still loved me, but they didn't want any details, you know? i can't really ask for more. i know they don't think it's "right," but they still love me and all. it's like we agree to disagree and life goes on. yes, i'd like for things to be "better," but i'm thankful that things are as good as they are.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 9:27pm

This went well. Congratulations. You have to allow your family's reaction to move on a trajectory from worse to better. This was a good start. Be proud of yourself--and them--and don't pick unnecessary fights. There will be more discussions along the road--and possibly some real fights. But allow yourself to feel very good about how you handled this--not everyone has such a positive experience.

Here's the link for that book again. Check it out.
Outing Yourself: How to Come Out as Lesbian or Gay to Your Family, Friends, and Coworkers

Posted: 6/25/05 at 10:18pm

Good for you, good luck and remember--you can let it drop now and only bring it up again if it's absolutely necessary. Your parents wouldn't want to hear about your sex life if you were straight, either.

Happy Pride day, Newbie.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 10:34pm

How old are you MBP? And why didn't you take the jumping up to its logical conclusion and get down on all fours, shove a breadstick up your butt and announce, "And George's hoohoodilly goes HERE and it feels GOOOOD and I LIIIIIIIKE it."

That'd show the homophobe.

[Broadway_freak]

Posted: 6/26/05 at 12:23am

I'm so proud of you! That takes a lot of guts. Stories like yours always inspire me. I'm sorry to hear your father behaved like that, but I want you to know that I really appreciate you posting that. If you EVER need someone to talk to, I'm an open ear, don't be shy.

[eslgr8]

Posted: 6/26/05 at 5:28am

You should be very proud that you didn't apologize for being gay. You were right to be angry and go on the offensive rather than feel you had to defend your position. You are absolutely right to feel proud about who you are and the fact that you are in a happy relationship. It's up to your parents to revise their thinking and realize that you are their son and that they love you not in spite of being gay but because you are who you are and being gay is part of that. I hope that it doesn't take too long for them to come around. In the meantime, it's up to you to educate them, which you seem quite capable of doing.
Best of luck,
Steven Stanley
Alhambra, CA

[MatthewAddison]

Posted: 6/26/05 at 6:27am

The thought of anyone shoving a breadstick up their ass is just ludicrous. Wasting valuable food like that...

Tsk-tsk

There are starving children in Indonesia and Polynesia or something. Now...a salt shaker or Tabasco bottle is another story...

And I'll jump on the bandwagon MBP to congratulate you...you're a lot braver than some closet-homos I know.

Let me tell you. Ain't nothin' more sad than seeing a closet-homo living with his parents at 29, dating a very tragic girl, sending letters and cards to friends with glitter in the envelope, prissy as a Himalayan Persian cat, jewelry-obsessed, and doing community theatre calling himself a "professional actor"...

As long as you don't end up like that, you're going to be okay.

I just know it.

I really, really do.

And that description was NOT of me. Just to be clear. I do NOT have a girlfriend--thank you very much.

[morebroadwayplease]

Posted: 6/26/05 at 7:32am

Namo,
I'm 20

Thank you guys soooo much for this. I'm pretty sure that my dad is the kind of one who will completely forget this ever happenened and just pretend that I'm straight. I'm going to let it sit a while and see what happens. Later when he's cooled off I will try to give him just an average phone call saying "hi" and all of that and see if he says anything about last night. I'll talk to you guys if I need it. My boyfriend is pretty good at helping me feel better at times like this. Oh god, I love him.

[Greekmusicalfan]

Posted: 6/26/05 at 7:36am

As Will said on an episode of "Will & Grace", Congratulations and Welcome ! And don't be mad on your dad, I think he was just shocked ! Considering the horrible reactions that we read about from some parents, it went really well. Looks like you have a great family and a nice boyfriend ! But the most important thing is to be proud and count on yourself and no one else !

Posted: 6/26/05 at 7:39am

Even Cher had to take a moment or two to get everything in perspective. I hope things work out for everyone involved.

[morebroadwayplease]

Posted: 6/26/05 at 7:41am

Ok, I guess it went considerably well.

What are some other stories were it went even worse? I'm curious

Posted: 6/26/05 at 7:55am

more - there are numerous instances of people getting thrown out of their houses, disinheritted and completely ostracized from their families. I've personally seen many times when families turned their backs on someone who was dying (they came out when they were diagnosed POZ.) Many times, religious beliefs have led families to cut off all contact - or, even worse in my opinion, have the individual institutionalized.

[morebroadwayplease]

Posted: 6/26/05 at 7:58am

What's wrong with this thread? It says there are 2 pages but at the bottom of page 2 it says next page and you can see dgrant's message if you click there... maybe it's fixed by now.