When to call it quits?

[M J R]

Posted: 2/16/06 at 1:18am

How long does one give it in New York (or LA or whereever for that matter) as an actor before calling it quits? I'm coming up on my 3 year anniversary of being in the city, after being a working actor since I was 8, and I have to say I find myself DAILY questioning how much longer I can put up with it. Anyone else have this problem in their chosen careers?

Updated On: 2/16/06 at 01:18 AM

[DG]

Posted: 2/16/06 at 1:35am

MJR - I would truly ask myself if that's the only reason I was there. The dream can be chased in many ways in many places, but NYC has a specificness all its own. If you can find other aspects of the place that you respond to and draw nourishment from, then there's no reason to leave. But if you are there only for the dream, then investigate other arenas which might be easier and more soul-satisfying to you.

Either way, it's all about your happiness.

[M J R]

Posted: 2/16/06 at 1:38am

Well, there's definitely no place like New York, but career possibilities are certainly the only reason I'm living here - away from my family whom I adore... I'm probably just having a pity moment after going through 5 auditions for ANOTHER broadway show, to NOT get the part.......F@*!

Updated On: 2/16/06 at 01:38 AM

[DG]

Posted: 2/16/06 at 1:47am

I'm sorry - that SUCKS. And there's absolutely nothing I could say that you haven't heard before, so I won't blow smoke anywhere.

Just be true to what you know is most important to you in life - that's what counts.

[DAME]

Posted: 2/16/06 at 1:53am

And learn to put out.

[M J R]

Posted: 2/16/06 at 1:54am

In all honesty, I think that I could have done that in a prior situation and landed to role. So pathetic.

[voztimbrada]

Posted: 2/16/06 at 3:14am

In LA, they say you need to give it at least 5 years to break into film and TV. Assuming luck is not on your side, it not uncommon for it to take that long. I think it's much the same for theatre. 3 years is not long enough to call it quits, unless you just know it's not for you. Hang in there. Keep at it. And most importantly, it's all about who you know. Network, network, network. I'm sure you've heard all that before, but sometimes re-iteration helps.

[pab]

Posted: 2/16/06 at 3:23am

"I find myself DAILY questioning how much longer I can put up with it. "

If that's the case then you should probably leave now. I'm sorry to sound harsh but, to me, that's a sign that it might not be as important to you as you think it is. If this is something that you really want, I don't believe there would really be serious thoughts of leaving. A fleeting moment of doubt I can see, but to be DAILY questioning? This just might not be the right career for you.

[ReederWI]

Posted: 2/16/06 at 7:23am

Ouch. I could not live that kind of life! Good for you for sticking with it, though. I am sure your family misses you too.

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 2/16/06 at 7:51am

I've been in NYC for 15 years and I cannot tell you how many times I've wanted to throw in the towel and go home. But I always find a reason to stay. NY has a lot to offer if you're willing to wade through the muck to find it. Where else on the east coast can you find so much culture? Museums, theatre, music, clubs, etc;(not to mention the audition possibilities)...that along with my partner, keeps me from going back to the small town I lived in before, where their idea of culture is eating at Outback Steak House and going bowling (not that there is anything wrong with those two pastimes)... I doubt if I will live out my life here, but I still have a few good years to explore this city before I retire to a calmer community.

Updated On: 2/16/06 at 07:51 AM

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/16/06 at 10:26am

If it's theatre you're looking for, then NY is the place to be. However, if you're looking for tv and film, perhaps you should try LA.

It sounds like you're on the fence right now and that's why you're questioning your choice. when the good is outweighed by the bad, you'll know it's time to give up. It depends on how much the acting is in your blood. I have friends who just won't quit-they feel that acting is all they live for. Also, it sounds corny, but the universe has a way of telling us what we want to know. If you hold out a bit longer, I think something will happen to help you make up your mind.

[best12bars]

Posted: 2/16/06 at 11:42am

pab is right. And I don't think it's too harsh, because I've been there myself in your situation. In fact, it was the very same circumstance, where I had been called back repeatedly (from an open Equity audition) for a replacement lead in a Broadway musical. It got down to three guys at the final audition, and I literally got sick when they called me back yet again. I kept thinking to myself, "cast me, or kill me... but just don't call me back any more." I began to realize that FOR ME, the payoff here wasn't worth it. As much as I wanted a "working career" as an actor, my skin wasn't thick enough for the downside, and the "creative process of acting" was soured for me by the "business" part of it. I also had many other creative goals in my life. I was also a singer/songwriter, author, visual (graphic) artist, musical director, director, etc. I ended up moving to Los Angeles (in my case), and have invented and reinvented myself and my career many times since I left NYC. I have no regrets, even though I miss "the life." I think that's tied in to missing my "youthful aspirations" as well, though. But I've always been connected to "show business" in one way or another, ever since I left NY. You have to figure out how you're going to fit in. So, even though I stopped pounding the pavements in the Big Apple, I never really left "the biz." It's mostly about deciding what you want, and weighing those feelings against the sacrifices you have to make to get there... and deciding if it's worth it to YOU. In my case, I had several answers to the question of "what I wanted to do with my life," so I've taken several different roads over the years. I have no regrets, because I was always pursuing MY dream... not someone else's.

You have to figure out what's best for you.