know any jokes?- Page 2
know any jokes?
Mr Roxy
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/17/03
#25re: know any jokes?
Posted: 5/16/04 at 7:03pm
What is black & white & black & white & balace & white ?
A nun rolling down the stairs
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#26re: know any jokes?
Posted: 5/16/04 at 10:41pm
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.
The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'.
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic crone says "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?"
The fourth Catholic lady replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2," hard-bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh, my God!"
#27re: know any jokes?
Posted: 5/17/04 at 12:51am
Haha I've heard that on Jose! I love it!
What do you call a sleep walking nun?
A Roamin' Catholic
How do they know it is bed time at Michael Jackson's house?
It's when the big hand touches the little hand.
#28re: know any jokes?
Posted: 5/17/04 at 11:03pm
ok, everyone has heard this one but...
what did the woman on the beach say to micheal jackson?
"sir could you please get out of my sun."
i wasnt sure whether to type sun or son, but you get the drift, i know it works better verbally.
#30re: know any jokes?
Posted: 5/18/04 at 9:50am
this is irreverant AND racist so thats A DISCLAIMER...
a priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they spot a beautiful young man walking toward them. Under his breath, the priest says "How'd you like to screw THAT?" and the rabbi replies "Outta what?"
#31re: know any jokes?
Posted: 5/18/04 at 11:51am
Worst joke ever.
Q: Whats the difference between a chicken and a grape?
A: They're both purple, except for the chicken.
#32re: know any jokes?
Posted: 5/18/04 at 11:51am
Worst joke ever.
Q: Whats the difference between a chicken and a grape?
A: They're both purple, except for the chicken.
Matt_G
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/1/04
#33re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/22/04 at 11:17pmWhat the hell. Let's bring this back.
#34re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 12:09am
- Two blondes walk into a building. You'd think that one of them would have seen it!
- Two fish are in a tank. One fish turns to the other and says, "Got any idea how to drive this thing?"
GovernorSlaton
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/14/04
#35re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 10:25am
I can't stop laughing at Ckeaton's awful joke. 
Why was six afraid of seven?
'Cause seven's a crazy ass mo-fo.
emonkeygirl
Featured Actor Joined: 3/30/04
#36re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 11:21am
My favorite joke is way too long (& naughty!), but here are my short favorites.
Where does the king keep his armies?
In his sleevies!
----------------------------------------
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c-
MOOOOOOOOOOOO!
----------------------------------------
Ok, everyone knows why the chicken crossed the road-to get to the other side.
But why did the baby cross the road?
'cause he was stapled to the chicken!
heehee!
#37re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 11:34am
"Where does the king keep his armies?
In his sleevies!"
Why did that make me laugh the hardest??
It's too early for me...*snort, giggle*
Walking by the same person you've already walked by in the dairy, produce, and frozen-food sections.
*I AM A MEMBER OF THE BWW.COM RADIOACTIVE SQUIRREL CLUB*
#38re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 1:04pm
A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding meets with their rabbi for counseling.
The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together, like the rest of the world."
"Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest. Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the rabbi. "It's forbidden."
"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of ! course!," replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah - a good thing within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"No problem," says the rabbi. "It's a mitzvah!"
"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure! Another mitzvah!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"
"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No." says the rabbi."
"Why not?" asks the man.
"Could lead to dancing"
#39re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 5:22pm
I spotted this at work today.
A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
She's sitting at the table drinking imported coffee.
Her son is on the front of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the side of the milk carton.
dramaqueen
Leading Actor Joined: 3/30/04
#40re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 7:32pm
another helen keller:
it works better verbally but:
why did helen kellers dog run away?
you would leave home too if your name was UNNNNH
#41re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 7:38pm
Two:
1-How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's go fishing!
2-If you're rowing upstream a river in a canoe and you lose a wheel, how many pancakes can you fit in a refrigerator? No silly, ice cream doesn't have bones!
#42re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 7:41pm
#43re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 8:11pm
Ok here is a riddle-
A girl is at a funeral and sees a very attractive guy there. She leaves the funeral but forgets to get his name and number! Next week she kills her sister. Why?
GovernorSlaton
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/14/04
#45re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 8:22pmShe's hoping the attractive guy would show up again so she can get his name and number???
#46re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 8:26pmBecause her sister stole her BMW to use as a getaway car in a bank heist and tried to frame the girl.
The opposite of creation isn't war, it's stagnation.
#47re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 8:27pm
More Helen Keller jokes..sorry I can't help it.
Why was Helen Keller's legs Yellow???
Her dog was blind too.
What did Helen Keller say when she fell down the well???
wawa
#48re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/23/04 at 9:59pmWait BWB got it right! The girl killed her sister in hope that the guy would go to the funeral!
#49re: know any jokes?
Posted: 6/24/04 at 3:33am
My favorite joke of ALL time:
A guy walks into a bar and says "Ow."
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