Are there any musical lyrics you would rewrite if you could?

[MadAboutTheBoy]

Posted: 12/29/10 at 5:44pm

Hello everyone! Longtime lurker here. Just registered today and this is my first post!

I was listening to the cast album of "Sunset Boulevard" and realize (as many other of you here have pointed out) that many of the lyrics to this show can be...uninspired? So it occured to me that an interesting post might be to ask how, if given the opportunity, YOU might rewrite any lyrics (from just a few lines to an entire song) you find rather banal or otherwise wanting?

And happy holidays!

[tazber]

Posted: 12/29/10 at 6:03pm

Let's play a game:

Guess the number of posts it takes for this thread to become about racism.
And for extra credit, guess the number of posts it takes until MadAboutTheBoy denies he's ever posted here before under a different screen name.

Go!

[MadAboutTheBoy]

Posted: 12/29/10 at 6:10pm

Hi Tazber,

Well, I'm not a "he", I'm a "she", and no, I've never posted here before today. What difference does it make anyway?


Updated On: 12/29/10 at 06:10 PM

[tazber]

Posted: 12/29/10 at 6:12pm

If you were a long time lurker you would know.

But welcome anyway!

[MadAboutTheBoy]

Posted: 12/29/10 at 6:16pm

Well, maybe not long enough lol. But thank you :)

[StageManager2]

Posted: 12/29/10 at 10:39pm

This is actually a good topic for a thread. I'm interested to see what other people come up with. I've often rewritten certain lyrics in my mind that I thought sounded or fit better than the original. For example, in INTO THE WOODS during "Stay with Me" the Witch sings to Rapunzel:

Princes wait there in the world it's true
Princes, yes, but wolves and humans too

I always found "humans" to be redundant 'cause princes are human, too. I think it should be "wolves and giants too" 'cause, after all, it is a giant that wreaks havoc in Act II and incidentally kills Rapunzel, so the song could also serve as ironic foreshadowing regarding Rapunzel's fate.

For my second pick, I would rewrite Eva's verse in "High Flying, Adored." The original goes:

High flying, adored
I've been called names but they're the strangest
My story's quite usual -- local girl makes good, weds famous man
I was slap in the right place at the perfect time
Filled a gap -- I was lucky
But one thing I'll say for me
No one else can fill it like i can!

Nothing wrong with it, really, but as an Eva Peron historian of sorts I think the following would work better:

High flying, adored
That's good to hear but unimportant*
My story's quite usual -- local girl makes good, weds famous man
I was cast in the right scene with the perfect part
Learned my lines -- I was lucky
But one thing I'll say for me
No one else can play it like I can!

*This line lifted from movie soundtrack

In the musical, Eva is always referred to as an actress, much like she was in real life. In fact, her critics argue that "Evita" was the greatest role she ever played. Even Marisa Navarro (one of her well-reputed biographers) said, "She was the person who created her own myth, and she was very good at it because she's an actress. She's a radio actress, a movie actress. She knows about stage, about performing, about being something else than what you really are." Furthermore, Navarro states, "She says that she plays a unique political role. She is the bridge of love between the people and Peron. She is what binds the masses, the descamisados, with the leader. And she knows that there's no one else who can play that role..." So my revised lyrics follow that "acting" motif.

That's it for now. I'm sure there are more, but these two are off the top of my head.

Updated On: 12/30/10 at 10:39 PM

[bwayphreak234]

Posted: 12/29/10 at 10:44pm

Wicked. All the lyrics. Wicked has the worst lyrics in my opinion. Defying Gravity is just bad at some points. Some of the tunes and orchestrations are actually quite pretty, but the lyrics are just awful.

[SondheimFan5]

Posted: 12/30/10 at 12:06am

Tale of Two Cities and Little Women. Gorgeous scores, mediocre non-singable lyrics. Same with West Side Story, though the lyrics are stunning, they aren't natural.

(and Sondheim agrees with the latter)

[Mr Roxy]

Posted: 12/30/10 at 11:48am

The lyrics from Ari are beyond sleep inducing.

Ditto for Wicked one of the most overhyped shows in the last 30 years.This has been running for years & Women closes prematurely . Go figure

Updated On: 12/30/10 at 11:48 AM

[sally1112]

Posted: 12/30/10 at 12:25pm

From Rent, "You'll See,"

You Want To Produce Films And Write
Songs?
You Need Somewhere To Do It!
It's What We Used To Dream About
Think Twice Before You Pooh-Pooh It

This is one of my favorite shows, but it has lyric issues from strat to finish, the worst to me is this pooh-pooh line. It just does not work for me.

[SeanMartin]

Posted: 12/30/10 at 12:31pm

God forbid me for saying this, but some of Hammerstein's lyrics are cringe-inducing, especially in his "serious" or "ballad" songs. For example:

Don't start collecting things
Give me my rose and my glove.

That second line is a man desperately in search of a thought.

[esparza 333]

Posted: 12/30/10 at 12:42pm

I think that while Wicked has a few clunkers there are certain songs are clever. Wonderful and parts of Popular have extremely interesting lyrics.

And I think some of the lines from Wildhorn's shows could be rewritten.

Also With One Look has extremely cliched lyrics. I Am not a big fan of Sunset's Lyrics but due like the title song.

[trentsketch]

Posted: 12/30/10 at 12:43pm

I think we could safely rewrite many of the lyrics in Jekyll & Hyde to, you know, be good. Or maybe just redo "Murder, Murder" and "Facade" and call it a wrap.

[husk_charmer]

Posted: 12/31/10 at 1:17am

SM2-
I think what Sondheim is getting at is how we seem to feel like royalty is above humanity. The Prince, while human, is superhuman because of his status.

[beagle]

Posted: 12/31/10 at 3:40am

My suggestion is from the reprise of "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" (Maria and Liesl's version) in The Sound of Music. Maria sings:

"Lo and behold you're someone's wife
And you belong to him".

I've always cringed at this line, because it makes a wife sound like property. I think it would be much better if she sang "you belong *with* him". It's one word, but I think it makes a big difference.