I have seen middle school productions of GREASE with better direction, choreography, and production value than the muddled nightmare that upchucked itself onto the stage at the Brooks Atkinson tonight.
I don’t even know where to begin.
OK. I’ll start in the middle. “Beauty School Dropout” is being sung to us by the Star Trek Pepsodent Man. He comes out of a space ship, wears all white sequins, and he walks like an Egyptian. No personality. Moves like a robot (clearly intended).
The cast of main characters look like they walked out of a mixed gay bar in 1970. Rizzo SCREAMS dyke. DANNY SCREAMS prithy boy. Not one of the main characters are the least bit traditionally attractive. NOT that that’s a bad thing, but when you are given nothing to cling to but the superficial in a crap production of the most superficial of superficial musicals, you’re going to need
some sort of eye candy.
For some reason, every male cast member’s face was DRENCHED in sweat throughout the show. It looks like they each dipped their face into a swimming pool before coming onto stage for each scene. And no, the sweat was not a result of busy choreography--
You know how Jerry Mitchell’s choreography for LEGALLY BLONDE was seen as a step backward from the lively, eye-catching dance moves that we’ve become so used to? Well, Kathleen Marshall completely drops the ball here, offering us Choreography -101. It is dull and so
JUST LIKE everything you’ve seen in every grade school production of GREASE, only more mechanical.
Osnes is wonderful with the small amount of stage time she has. She gives a gorgeous rendition of “Hopelessly Devoted To You” mid-way through the show.
Crumm lacks charisma, charm, personality, coolness, and suavity. He sings OK.
Jenny Powers is a standout as Rizzo.
An excruciating waste of time, money and energy. I don’t know WHAT Kathleen Marshall is thinking. The last revival was 100 times better than this minimalist (cheap, empty) mounting.
The Brooks Atkinson is an AWFUL space for a big musical like this. There’s no room for anything on that stage. Yet the lack of substantial set pieces make it look practically bare.
I’d say that they have work to do, but I can’t imagine anything that can be done at this point with the opening in less than a month.
If this is what Marshall’s vision is, she’ll just have to accept what the critics are going to spew out.
"Winning a Tony this year is like winning Best Attendance in third grade: no one will care but the winner and their mom."
-Kad
"I have also met him in person, and I find him to be quite funny actually. Arrogant and often misinformed, but still funny."
-bjh2114 (on Michael Riedel)