If Julie Taymor Directed the Oscars....

[Katurian2]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 11:36am

Cute feature by The Hollywood Reporter. Feel free to add additional snark/wit to it.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/gallery/julie-taymor-directed-oscars-161444#1

[AC126748]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 11:38am

...the envelopes would never open.

[best12bars]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 11:43am

They wouldn't air until September.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 11:50am

And they would, of course, be the most boring ceremony ever.

[singtopher]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 11:55am

After three hours of imagery, the general consensus would be "Wait, wasn't something supposed to happen? Were any awards actually given away?"

[dragonlp86]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 12:04pm

There would be about thirty minutes between each award presentation due to technical difficulties.

[CONAries]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 12:12pm

so many actors, directors etc. would be injured, they would never be able to work again, and the entire film industry would be ruined!

[ClapYo'Hands]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 12:22pm

They wouldn't just make a joke about George Clooney. They decapitate him with an ensemble member.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 12:27pm

"After three hours of imagery, the general consensus would be "Wait, wasn't something supposed to happen? Were any awards actually given away?"

Just like the Grammys.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 12:33pm

The entire thing would be done with puppets.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 12:34pm

Made out of stiff socks found next to Dollypops bed.

[Cyndawg]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 1:00pm

Each Presenter flys in for the entrance but get stuck half way to the stage...show holds for hours...and then only one award is finally presented.

[Mr Roxy]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 1:14pm

Each Best Picture nominee would no longer feature clips but watching the actual movie. The obituary part would also necessitate the viewing of the deceased entire cannon of work as well. Speeches would be held to 1 hour and the winners would be required to fly in as an homage to Spiderman.The losers would be summarily executed or forced to watch a bootleg of Spiderman - whatever they choose.

Updated On: 2/27/11 at 01:14 PM

[dragonlp86]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 1:26pm

Forget bootlegs; they'd be required to go to New York and see the show in person. And buy their own tickets.

[jdtp12]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 3:49pm

There would be no Best Director category because SHE is the best director.

[uncageg]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 5:00pm

It will all be reduced to "A celebration of the work done so far".

[Idiot]

Posted: 2/27/11 at 6:22pm

...she would mysteriously win best picture for a film that hasn't even been made yet.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 2/28/11 at 7:18pm

Julie would win every category.

[jonartdesigns]

Posted: 3/1/11 at 2:44am

...the statuettes would be radically redesigned making sure they were as asymmetrical as possible and also dangerous to handle

...and each category would be given a back story tied into greek mythology.

...at 11pm the announcer would come on to say "Whereas this is only a PREVIEW of the awards, we have yet to tabulate the winners of best actor, best actress, and best picture... goodnight"

[Tag]

Posted: 3/1/11 at 2:45am

They might have at least been interesting.

[sopranobiz]

Posted: 3/1/11 at 5:16pm

It would be the best attended Oscars in history because of the negative attention from bloggers. Julie Taymor would laugh all the way to the bank.