"My eyes are fully open to my awful situation
So I?m writing you a letter to demand an explanation
When the audience who came for me
Arrived here Sunday evening
I discovered upon singing that the jerk
Was really texting
So the only possibility is that this guy lacks manners
I request he stop texting all the people in his phone book
And unless you can convince me
We?ve improved our public manners
I?ll take my concerts elsewhere
So I hope you solve this matter"
I don't write patter songs well, but here's my humble spoof on The Speed Test.
When I see the phrase "the ____ estate", I imagine a vast mansion in the country full of monocled men and high-collared women receiving letters about productions across the country and doing spit-takes at whatever they contain.
-Kad