Question about Etiquette

Hello I have a question regarding etiquette in and around the theater.

A few weeks ago when I saw 'On the Heights' and ran in to someone I was a very big fan of. He was seated right next to me (we had both won lotto) and I was not sure if it was appropriate to introduce myself or not? He was alone and seemed friendly enough but at the same time I did not want to be rude. I stayed silent and resisted the temptation to speak to him, although we did brush elbows a few times. He was very well dressed and just as handsome in person as he is in photographs.

My question to everyone is, what would you do in a situation like this? Is it appropriate to strike up a conversation or engage in small talk, or is it best to just leave someone alone? Part of me will always regret not saying something, and part of me will always wonder what could have been.

Thanks in advance for all your help!

..... Exactly.

I don't know if it were horrible if you mentioned it earlier, as long as you kept it short and sweet...so it was obvious you weren't trying to latch on.

I don't any actor tires of hearing nice things. (Do any of us, really?)

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I have bumped into a few people I have admired at the theater and have just said a quick hello. One was Jesse Tyler Ferguson at the intermission for the Sweeney Todd revival. he was very nice. I just said hello, asked how he was enjoying the show, told him I enjoyed Putnam County Spelling Bee and we both said to each other to enjoy the second half of the show.

On the other hand, I found myself standing right next to Bob Martin at a corner on Lexignton 2 days after seeing Drowsy Chaperone. He was with someone and they were chatting. I didn't interrupt to say hello to him. Even when they stopped talking for a few moments, I still didn't say anything.

Agnes, Is there a reason you are not saying who this person was that you were sitting next to? Just curious.

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Updated On: 1/8/09 at 08:49 PM

Sometimes he posts on these boards asking about closing night tickets and people tend to have a laugh at his expense.

wtf?

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You were correct in not saying anything. This actor was attending a show in his leisure time, and is entitled to be left alone. Plus, what if you had spoken to him and he didn't particularly appreciate being approached. You then would have created an uncomfortable situation for the rest of the evening. Even if he had responded to you, he may not have felt comfortable sitting next to a fan for the rest of the evening.

Many years ago, while doing extra work on a film, I found myself standing shoulder to shoulder with an actor whom I greatly admired. I made the mistake of complimenting this person very briefly. Well, my compliment was answered with a haughty "harrumph" from the actor. I had to stand next to her, touching shoulders, for the entire day and I was more than uncomfortable, as I suppose she was.

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Jane2 ~ If you read Agnes's follow-up, it was NOT an actor, but a poster on this board.

CREEPY!

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If it is an actor, NEVER say, "OH MY GOD! I LOVE YOU!"

It's always better to say, "I really enjoy your work."


And I find if my hand happens to end up in his lap or groin area...so be it.

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I think it was the "asking about closing night tickets" thing that gave it away. LOL.

And pianolin, EXCELLENT point!

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Updated On: 1/8/09 at 11:02 PM

I'm in my 50's and I have been quietly approaching famous people for years to tell them I appreciate their work. I have never received anything other than a gracious reply in return. Over the years, I have approached actors, writers, politicians, composers, and everybody in between. IMHO, the key is to be quiet, polite, AND BRIEF! Something along the line of 'I'm terribly sorry to disturb you, but I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your performance/book/score for (fill in the blank)'. AND THEN STOP. Unless you have interrupted them in mid-sentence, only the most arrogant snob would refuse to at least say 'Thank You'. If they are interested in talking, let THEM continue the conversation. Otherwise, offer a polite 'Good Evening', 'Enjoy the Show', or whatever is appropriate, and go back to what you were doing (presuming what you were doing was not standing on a chair shrieking 'Look everyone, it's Stephen Sondheim!')

Now, having said all that, there are three occasions where I would not approach a famous person 1) they are sitting and I am standing (theatre, restaurant, airplane, etc), 2) the men's room (for God's sake, let them pee in peace), and 3) I have nothing nice to say to them (needless to say, I could share an elevator with George W Bush and I wouldn't even acknowledge his presence).

Otherwise, I say go for it.

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Updated On: 6/12/20 at 11:39 PM

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Updated On: 6/12/20 at 11:41 PM

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Updated On: 6/12/20 at 11:43 PM