Viciously Funny Reviews- Page 2

[Broadway61004]

Posted: 2/13/25 at 6:41pm

I can't find it now, so this isn't word-for-word accurate, but I remember the 2006 Threepenny Opera revival got a review that started "By the end of this production, your eyes will hurt, your ears will hurt, and, with its 3-hour runtime, your a** will hurt."

And as someone who saw that disaster, I can confirm they were correct on all 3 counts.....

[IdinaBellFoster]

Posted: 2/15/25 at 7:39pm

I remember reading the Brantley LITTLE MERMAID review outloud to friends.

[TarHeelAlan]

Posted: 2/16/25 at 9:18am

Esther Blodgett said: "I think it was the early 70s and a revue opened Off-Broadway titled "Smile, Smile, Smile". Clive Barnes', writing in the Times, entire review was "I didn't. I didn't, I didn't."

The show closed in a week."

Thanks for this, I had always (inaccurately) heard the show title  was "Laugh, Laugh, Laugh" but with the same brutal take by Barnes. The show opened April 4, 1973, and the review, in its entirety, read: 

"A very hard‐working and rather talented cast (see listing) last night brought “a musical entertainment” by Hugo Peretti, Luigi Creatore and George David Weiss to the Eastside Playhouse.

It was called “Smile, Smile, Smile.” I didn't, I didn't, I didn't."

https://www.nytimes.com/1973/04/05/archives/theater-entertainment-smile-smile-smile-at-eastside-playhouse.html?unlocked_article_code=1.xU4.nimV.__Q7mkhZnU0F&smid=url-share 

Bit of theater trivia: Gary Beach was listed as one of the actors. 

[George in DC]

Posted: 2/16/25 at 9:39am

Then of course there is John Simon, who stands out as of the most vile critics ever, but when he was on, he was funny. He was racist, homophobic and never bothered to hide that fact.

Here is his review for "Aida".

 

Aida review by John Simon

[Kad]

Posted: 2/16/25 at 11:48am

Special mention must be made of Adam Feldman's pan of Wonderland in Time Out NY, which he wrote as a parody of Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky," complete with rhyming verse.

[NakedMaid]

Posted: 2/16/25 at 12:51pm

A favorite of mine has always been Roma Torre's On Stage review of DEAD ACCOUNTS. I cannot find it in writing but I recall rewinding it several times to hear her say "... and Norbert Leo Butz single-handed kept me from hurling my Playbill at the stage."

I've also always loved that the producers of Cyrano used the pull quote on the theater "Daniel Sunjata is unusually affecting" Always sounded like a backhanded compliment to me.

[AEA AGMA SM]

Posted: 2/16/25 at 1:00pm

There used to be an absolutely wonderfully written takedown of Perfect Crime on Yelp, but it's since either been removed or buried by the sea of other bad reviews and obvious shills for that show.