Posted: 10/20/19 at 6:44pm
Does anybody have any examples of well-written and funny reviews for shows that were extreme pans? I don't mean a luke warm review with funny bits, but just a vicious takedown of a mess of a show. You don't have to agree with the review, just need some examples.Thanks!
Posted: 10/20/19 at 7:34pm
Jesse Green’s review for Escape to Margaritaville is a masterclass in this very topic. Probably my favorite review ever. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/15/theater/escape-to-margaritaville-review-jimmy-buffett-broadway.html
Posted: 10/20/19 at 7:43pm
Posted: 10/20/19 at 9:48pm
I remember reading, about 20 years ago, about an early-70's musical called 'Up'. Supposedly, one of the opening night reviews for 'Up' was one word: Down. There was no reference to that in the article and the story may be apocryphal but here's a good one: It played at the newly opened Uris (now Gershwin) Theatre for maybe one performance. From the street, only 2 words were visible on the marque: Up and Uris. Classic.
Posted: 10/20/19 at 10:05pm
Posted: 10/20/19 at 10:29pm
AADA81 said: "I remember reading, about 20 years ago, about an early-70's musical called 'Up'. Supposedly, one of the opening night reviews for 'Up' was one word: Down. There was no reference to that in the article and the story may be apocryphal but here's a good one: It playedat the newly opened Uris (now Gershwin) Theatre for maybe one performance. From the street, only 2 words were visible on the marque: Up and Uris.Classic."
The show you're referring to was 'Via Galactica' - it was originally titled 'Up' but they allegedly changed the name for that very reason, perhaps the only good decision those producers made...
Posted: 10/20/19 at 10:42pm
Posted: 10/20/19 at 10:44pm
I used to own this book, No Turn Unstoned, a bunch of vicious reviews compiled by Diana Rigg, but I lost it in some move. Might be worth ordering if you want a collection of them.
https://www.amazon.com/No-Turn-Unstoned-Theatrical-Reviews/dp/0385188625/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=no+turn+unstoned&qid=1571625097&sr=8-1
Updated On: 10/20/19 at 10:44 PM
Posted: 10/21/19 at 10:39am
I think it was the early 70s and a revue opened Off-Broadway titled "Smile, Smile, Smile". Clive Barnes', writing in the Times, entire review was "I didn't. I didn't, I didn't."
The show closed in a week.
Posted: 10/21/19 at 12:24pm
I think a lot of that has to do with whether or not you agree with the writer! 
Posted: 10/21/19 at 1:04pm
That one review of Gettin' The Band Back Together that called the score "Broadway Nickelback". Nickelback doesn't deserve disrespect like that.
Posted: 10/21/19 at 11:00pm
The Atlantic has a page that is a collection of the poor reviews of Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark:
https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2011/02/spider-man-musical-inspires-scathing-reviews/342327/
There's also this collection of reviews of various shows over the years:
https://theatrenerds.com/12-times-critics-were-absolutely-savage-not-necessarily-wrong/
Updated On: 10/21/19 at 11:00 PM
Posted: 2/11/25 at 1:01am
There's a collection of them here: https://www.famousinsults.com/funny-theatre-quotes-quips-and-insults/
Posted: 2/11/25 at 9:58am
Not a play or musical, but when Andy Worhol's film "Bike Bos" started showing at the Hudson Theatre, the NYT's Howard Thompson noted "[Bike Boy] opened yesterday at the Hudson Theater. It belongs in the Hudson River."
Ouch.
Posted: 2/11/25 at 10:26am
One of the best reviews ever wasn't for a show but for a restaurant that happened to be in Times Square.
Pete Wells of the NY Times reviewing Guy Fieri's restaurant in 2012. It is a long read but you won't be disappointed.
https://www.reddit.com/r/MurderedByWords/comments/7rxm8r/pete_wells_review_of_guy_fieris_restaurant_in/
Updated On: 2/11/25 at 10:26 AM
Posted: 2/11/25 at 11:28am
This is a CLASSIC!
Huss417 said: "
One of the best reviews ever wasn't for a show but for a restaurant that happened to be in Times Square.
Pete Wells of the NY Times reviewing Guy Fieri's restaurant in 2012. It is a long read but you won't be disappointed.
https://www.reddit.com/r/MurderedByWords/comments/7rxm8r/pete_wells_review_of_guy_fieris_restaurant_in/"
Posted: 2/11/25 at 12:51pm
My favorite part of the NYT "Good Vibrations" review:
"Since the performers really aren't to blame for the aimlessness of "Good Vibrations," I won't mention any of their names, though there are a few who make you feel that smiling should be outlawed for a while"
I also recall a NYT review around the same time that said the only people in the audience would be casting directors looking for talent since the show shouldn't run too long.
Posted: 2/11/25 at 1:55pm
Search for any of the scathing reviews of Suzanne Somers' one-woman show, The Blonde in the Thunderbird. Being trapped watching this travesty of supposed theater, I can state that those critics were generous.
Posted: 2/11/25 at 2:54pm
Huss417 said: "
One of the best reviews ever wasn't for a show but for a restaurant that happened to be in Times Square.
Pete Wells of the NY Times reviewing Guy Fieri's restaurant in 2012. It is a long read but you won't be disappointed.
https://www.reddit.com/r/MurderedByWords/comments/7rxm8r/pete_wells_review_of_guy_fieris_restaurant_in/"
Totally remember this review! I had just been there for a pre-opening night event where they had the whole menu out to try. The review was so on target!
Posted: 2/13/25 at 12:12pm
Lestat:
Ben Brantley, The New York Times: A promising new contender has arrived in a crowded pharmaceutical field. Joining the ranks of Ambien, Lunesta, Sonata and other prescription lullaby drugs is “Lestat,” the musical sleeping pill that opened last night at the Palace Theater. Dare to look upon “Lestat” and keep your eyelids from growing heavier and heavier.
Posted: 2/13/25 at 2:49pm
An unlocked link to the to my all-time favorite NY Times pan of an obscure Off-Broadway anti-evolution musical:
Darwinian Monkeyshines Much Sung and Danced (Unlocked Gift Link)
Favorite line?
As an actress, choreographer and dancer, Ms. Collins has great hair.
Posted: 2/13/25 at 4:00pm
Cannot remember the show or the reviewer, but they wrote “this show has done wonders with my sex life, I ended up sleeping with the whole audience.”
Posted: 2/13/25 at 4:09pm
Gene Shalit: "The Little Prince is a big dog." I can't remember if that was the entire review or just the opening line, but it broke up everyone else in the newsroom with him.
(He was reviewing the film and not the later Broadway musical.)
Posted: 2/13/25 at 6:41pm
I can't find it now, so this isn't word-for-word accurate, but I remember the 2006 Threepenny Opera revival got a review that started "By the end of this production, your eyes will hurt, your ears will hurt, and, with its 3-hour runtime, your a** will hurt."
And as someone who saw that disaster, I can confirm they were correct on all 3 counts.....
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