Viciously Funny Reviews

[nasty_khakis]

Posted: 10/20/19 at 6:44pm

Does anybody have any examples of well-written and funny reviews for shows that were extreme pans? I don't mean a luke warm review with funny bits, but just a vicious takedown of a mess of a show. You don't have to agree with the review, just need some examples.Thanks!

[GreasedLightning]

Posted: 10/20/19 at 7:26pm

King Kong comes to mind.

[Call_me_jorge]

Posted: 10/20/19 at 7:34pm

Jesse Green’s review for Escape to Margaritaville is a masterclass in this very topic. Probably my favorite review ever. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/15/theater/escape-to-margaritaville-review-jimmy-buffett-broadway.html

[Dollypop]

Posted: 10/20/19 at 7:43pm

The New York Times' review of the Liz Taylor/ Richard Burton PRIVATE LIVES was hilarious. I was still teaching at the time and read it aloud to my colleagues at lunch time. We all laughed hysterically.

[AADA81]

Posted: 10/20/19 at 9:48pm

I remember reading, about 20 years ago, about an early-70's musical called 'Up'.  Supposedly, one of the opening night reviews for 'Up' was one word: Down.  There was no reference to that in the article and the story may be apocryphal but here's a good one:  It played at the newly opened Uris (now Gershwin) Theatre for maybe one performance.  From the street, only 2 words were visible on the marque: Up and Uris. Classic.

[Dollypop]

Posted: 10/20/19 at 10:05pm

How about Dorothy Parker's review of a play called HOME BEAUTIFUL. Parker's succinct review of the play was: "HOME BEAUTIFUL. Play lousey."

[chewy5000]

Posted: 10/20/19 at 10:29pm

AADA81 said: "I remember reading, about 20 years ago, about an early-70's musical called 'Up'. Supposedly, one of the opening night reviews for 'Up' was one word: Down. There was no reference to that in the article and the story may be apocryphal but here's a good one: It playedat the newly opened Uris (now Gershwin) Theatre for maybe one performance. From the street, only 2 words were visible on the marque: Up and Uris.Classic."

The show you're referring to was 'Via Galactica' - it was originally titled 'Up' but they allegedly changed the name for that very reason, perhaps the only good decision those producers made...

[Jarethan]

Posted: 10/20/19 at 10:42pm

Frank Rich’s review of Moose Murders is legendary. I also read one of the original Carrie, b in t I am struggling to remember from which critic.

[LLW2]

Posted: 10/20/19 at 10:44pm

I used to own this book, No Turn Unstoned, a bunch of vicious reviews compiled by Diana Rigg, but I lost it in some move. Might be worth ordering if you want a collection of them.

https://www.amazon.com/No-Turn-Unstoned-Theatrical-Reviews/dp/0385188625/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=no+turn+unstoned&qid=1571625097&sr=8-1

 

 

Updated On: 10/20/19 at 10:44 PM

[Esther Blodgett]

Posted: 10/21/19 at 10:39am

I think it was the early 70s and a revue opened Off-Broadway titled "Smile, Smile, Smile". Clive Barnes', writing in the Times, entire review was "I didn't. I didn't, I didn't."

The show closed in a week.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 10/21/19 at 12:24pm

I think a lot of that has to do with whether or not you agree with the writer! 

[Alex Kulak2]

Posted: 10/21/19 at 1:04pm

That one review of Gettin' The Band Back Together that called the score "Broadway Nickelback". Nickelback doesn't deserve disrespect like that.

[jagman1062]

Posted: 10/21/19 at 11:00pm

The Atlantic has a page that is a collection of the poor reviews of Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark:

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2011/02/spider-man-musical-inspires-scathing-reviews/342327/

There's also this collection of reviews of various shows over the years:

https://theatrenerds.com/12-times-critics-were-absolutely-savage-not-necessarily-wrong/

Updated On: 10/21/19 at 11:00 PM

[Cellarmaster]

Posted: 2/11/25 at 1:01am

There's a collection of them here: https://www.famousinsults.com/funny-theatre-quotes-quips-and-insults/

[saxpower]

Posted: 2/11/25 at 9:58am

Not a play or musical, but when Andy Worhol's film "Bike Bos" started showing at the Hudson Theatre, the NYT's Howard Thompson noted "[Bike Boy] opened yesterday at the Hudson Theater. It belongs in the Hudson River."

 

Ouch. 

[Huss417]

Posted: 2/11/25 at 10:26am

One of the best reviews ever wasn't for a show but for a restaurant that happened to be in Times Square. 

Pete Wells of the NY Times reviewing Guy Fieri's restaurant in 2012. It is a long read but you won't be disappointed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MurderedByWords/comments/7rxm8r/pete_wells_review_of_guy_fieris_restaurant_in/

Updated On: 2/11/25 at 10:26 AM

[matty159]

Posted: 2/11/25 at 11:28am

This is a CLASSIC! 

Huss417 said: "

One of the best reviews ever wasn't for a show but for a restaurant that happened to be in Times Square.

Pete Wells of the NY Times reviewing Guy Fieri's restaurant in 2012. It is a long read but you won't be disappointed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MurderedByWords/comments/7rxm8r/pete_wells_review_of_guy_fieris_restaurant_in/"

 

[ggersten]

Posted: 2/11/25 at 12:51pm

My favorite part of the NYT "Good Vibrations" review:

"Since the performers really aren't to blame for the aimlessness of "Good Vibrations," I won't mention any of their names, though there are a few who make you feel that smiling should be outlawed for a while"

I also recall a NYT review around the same time that said the only people in the audience would be casting directors looking for talent since the show shouldn't run too long. 

[IronMan]

Posted: 2/11/25 at 1:55pm

Search for any of the scathing reviews of Suzanne Somers' one-woman show, The Blonde in the Thunderbird.  Being trapped watching this travesty of supposed theater, I can state that those critics were generous. 

[uncageg]

Posted: 2/11/25 at 2:54pm

Huss417 said: "

One of the best reviews ever wasn't for a show but for a restaurant that happened to be in Times Square.

Pete Wells of the NY Times reviewing Guy Fieri's restaurant in 2012. It is a long read but you won't be disappointed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MurderedByWords/comments/7rxm8r/pete_wells_review_of_guy_fieris_restaurant_in/"

 

Totally remember this review! I had just been there for a pre-opening night event where they had the whole menu out to try. The review was so on target!