What is your favorite funny line from a musical?

[antonijan]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 7:39pm

Mine is:

"Grab your dick and double click for porn, porn porn"

-Avenue Q

[jordangirl]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 7:42pm

Why I think it's funny probably makes no sense to anyone but me. And it's spoken, though in a musical...

"And suddenly I felt I had to make a good impression and I said: 'It's an island in the Indian Ocean off the coast of Africa right opposite Mozambique.' Can I help it if I was good in geography?"

~110 In The Shade

Or...(also from 110) this dialogue...

Lizzie: Then why didn't you just say it straight out: Lizzie, I want to talk to you ~ alone! ~ man to man!

Starbuck: Man to man Lizzie?

Lizzie: Excuse me. I made a mistake. You are not a man!

HEEEE!!!!

Updated On: 5/14/07 at 07:42 PM

[balletandbroadway]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 7:48pm

"Clara. Stop that! That's illegal."
- Margaret Johnson from Light in the Piazza

haha. Definitely love that line!

[vmlinnie]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 7:58pm

In what context is that Clara line used?

[Hank]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:00pm

Millie: You don't like me.
Miss Flannery: I don't like moderns, Missy, and you're as up to date as they come.
Millie: Thank you!

[dancingthrulife04]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:03pm

In what context is that Clara line used?

She was sitting on a monument of some kind (sorry, this was a long time ago) and banging it with her shoe because she was an gry at her mother.

[Mattbrain]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:06pm

From Wicked:

Well, we can't all come and go by bubble!

From Spring Awakening (after Mama Bergman's most bogus explanation about where babies come from):

There! Now you know everything!

From Dessa Rose (after Ruth almost gets raped):

Hospitality, my foot!!!!!!!

From Dreamgirls:

I love me some Jimmy but I ain't gonna be singin' behind him for the rest of my life!!!!!

[GYPSY1527]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:08pm

The line in Grey Gardens in the 2nd act when Little Edie and Jerry are taking about the inspection and he mentioned Jackie. Edie then says that she is just interested in the house but when she questioned where her mother was going to live, she noted "it won't be with you in your yacht in the Greek Islands".

-Something to that extent.

[Dirty_Rotten_Guy]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:10pm

CURTAINS:

(reading the reviews)
Georgia:...Oh my god.

Aaron:...Holy mother in heaven.

Carmen:...Holy s***!

[morosco]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:14pm

COMPANY
"She's tall enough to be your mother."

[wickedfan]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:14pm

Gypsy, it's something like "Then I said 'Well, if I go, where's mother going to stay? With you on your yacht in the Greek Islands?' That shut her up."

[Mattbrain]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:18pm

https://forum.broadwayworld.com/readmessage.cfm?boardname=bway&thread=910364#2731276

[rosekwbp]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:21pm

Grey Gardens

Little Edie -"I met a Count in Greenwhich Village he said Edith I want to make an honest woman out of you. I thought was very doesn't."

Big Edie-"He didn't have a nickel in his trousers not a nickel."

Little Edie "Mother despised him gave him the pink slip to think I could have been a Countess Countess Edith."

Gypsy:

"New York is the center of everyting."

Rose: "New York is the center of New York."

[C is for Company]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:22pm

"I love surprises, let's hold hands and see what happens." from Follies

[GYPSY1527]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:23pm

" I thought was very doesn't." I think the line is "I thought that was very decent"

[FutureAladdinOnB'Way]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:27pm

"The Jews have all the money and the whites have all the power..and I'm always in taxi cab with driver who no shower; me too! Me too! I CAN'T EVEN GET A TAXI!"

[rosekwbp]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:35pm

Hahahaha it is "very decent" I can't spell.

[muscle23ftl]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:38pm

"Can you put that award flat on its back?...after all, that's how you won it"

-Bombay Dreams-

[SNLMedia]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:45pm

[see signature]

[TotallyEffed]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 8:46pm

"I don't wanna wear fruit no more"-Drowsy



"Why's the director staring at his crotch?"-L5Y

[bwaygal1]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 9:05pm

Edie then says that she is just interested in the house but when she questioned where her mother was going to live, she noted "it won't be with you in your yacht in the Greek Islands".

THe line is (isn't it tragic?! I can remember this verbatim!): I asked her, if you put me away, where's mother going to go? To your yacht in the Greek Islands?! That shut her up!"

My favorite line is: "They can get you in Easthampton for wearing red shoes on a Thursday. I don't know if you know that. I mean, do you know that? They can get you for almost anything. It's a mean, nasty Republican town".

I also do like Edith saying, "It's a goddam beautiful day, shut up!".

[Smaxie]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 9:16pm

Two recent favorites:

"Now I'll be the laughing stock of Poughkeepsie!" - Titanic

"Maybe we'll meet someone at the wedding." - Triumph of Love

[BDavis0092]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 10:09pm

Just about every one-liner Edward Hibbert says in Curtains.

And many lines from Drowsy. Sorry I can't pick out specific ones.

[ElFantasma14]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 10:19pm

I know the song is meant to be poignant and touching, but "Around the World" from Grey Gardens; the parts where Edie gets angry are pretty hillarious if you don't know the context or the mood is not set, particulary the one about "I will shove you under a god damn bed!"

[D2]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 10:39pm

Most of Charlotte's lines in A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC:

Carl Magnus: You're a good wife, Charlotte. The best.
Charlotte: That's a comforting thought to take with me to town, dear. It just may keep me from cutting my throat on the tram.

Anne: Charlotte Olafson! It is, isn't it? Marta's big sister who married that magnificent Count Something or other and I was a flower girl at the wedding.
Charlotte: Unhappily without a time-bomb in your lily of the valley bouquet.
Anne: Oh, Charlotte, you always did say the most amusing things.
Charlotte: I still do. I frequently laugh myself to sleep contemplating my own future.

Carl Magnus: Watch him Charlotte. Watch them both like a...
Charlotte: Hawk, I know, dear. You're a tiger, I'm a hawk. We're our own zoo.