#26
Posted: 5/14/07 at 10:46pm
DRS----
"I dont even have sex and eat bacon for 6 hours"
"I dont even have sex and eat bacon for 6 hours"
What is your favorite funny line from a musical? — Page 2
#27
Posted: 5/14/07 at 10:48pm
Jerry's line in Grey Gardens ... "you might want to consider washing those sheets"
#28
Posted: 5/14/07 at 11:01pm
Carousel:
Jigger (the dirtbag; when he finds out Julie & Billy are going to have a baby): My mother had a baby once.
Jigger (to Mrs. Mullin): Put on a new coat of paint, you're starting to peel.
Lil Abner:
Lil Abner: Do you get bed and board (bored)?
Apassionata: Frequently.
The Apple Tree:
Adam (discovering Eve): I'll name it later.
Jigger (the dirtbag; when he finds out Julie & Billy are going to have a baby): My mother had a baby once.
Jigger (to Mrs. Mullin): Put on a new coat of paint, you're starting to peel.
Lil Abner:
Lil Abner: Do you get bed and board (bored)?
Apassionata: Frequently.
The Apple Tree:
Adam (discovering Eve): I'll name it later.
If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
#29
Posted: 5/14/07 at 11:09pm
"But you know what bothers me is, if you marry, then you've got another person there all the time." - Company
The morning star always gets wonderful bright the minute before it has to go --doesn't it?
#30
Posted: 5/15/07 at 12:13pm
Urinetown:
There's no such thing as Urinetown, we just kill people!
There's no such thing as Urinetown, we just kill people!
#31
Posted: 5/15/07 at 1:50pm
It's in my signature but:
"Things happen for the best...I don't even believe that myself."
"Things happen for the best...I don't even believe that myself."
(formerly bronte604)
"You really just love money and power and capitalism? You know they're never going to love you back."
"Things happen for the best...I don't even believe that myself."
#32
Posted: 5/15/07 at 2:24pm
URINETOWN:
"No, dreams are meant to be crushed, Little Sally - it's nature's way."
"No, dreams are meant to be crushed, Little Sally - it's nature's way."
#33
Posted: 5/15/07 at 2:40pm
DROWSY CHAPERONE
"She's an aviatrix...what we now call a lesbian"
"He was the man of a thousand accents, all of them offensive"
"Records...YES records" (The way Bob Martin delivers the line within the context of the show is brilliant!)
"She's an aviatrix...what we now call a lesbian"
"He was the man of a thousand accents, all of them offensive"
"Records...YES records" (The way Bob Martin delivers the line within the context of the show is brilliant!)
#34
Posted: 5/15/07 at 4:06pm
My Fair Lady.
Higgins: You impudent hussy!
Higgins: You impudent hussy!
iHeartMyGeek: But Pittsburgh also has many good qualities too!
ahmelie: Are you implying that twinkies and lesbians are bad? BITCH!
ahmelie: Are you implying that twinkies and lesbians are bad? BITCH!
#35
Posted: 5/15/07 at 4:36pm
Into the Woods, Cinderella's Prince: "I was raised to be charming, not sincere."
I laugh out loud every time.
I laugh out loud every time.
"Why, I make more money than... than... than Calvin Coolidge! PUT TOGETHER!"
~Lina Lamont
My name wasn't, isn't, and will never be Scott.
~Lina Lamont
My name wasn't, isn't, and will never be Scott.
#36
Posted: 5/15/07 at 4:41pm
Thw Witch in "Into the Woods" -
"I was only trying to be a good mother"!
"I was only trying to be a good mother"!
Just give the world Love. - S. Wonder
#37
Posted: 5/15/07 at 5:18pm
"Have you ever considered shooting Franklin D. Roosevelt?"
"You think it help?"
"I couldn't hurt."
"You think it help?"
"I couldn't hurt."
#38
Posted: 5/15/07 at 6:14pm
"Bad stuff, indeed! Had it been just mere herion..."
- High School Lecturer, Reefer Madness
"It's awfully considerate of you to help me study for Romeo and Juliet, Jimmy! Come exam time I would have been on a trip for biscuts!"
- Mary Lane, Reefer Madness
I think the way she says it is what makes it funny. That, and "trip for biscuts" is probably the greatest phrase known to mankind. :-]
"Hold on, boys! I for one would like to hear what the bloodstained young lady has to say!"
- President Roosevelt, Reefer Madness
- High School Lecturer, Reefer Madness
"It's awfully considerate of you to help me study for Romeo and Juliet, Jimmy! Come exam time I would have been on a trip for biscuts!"
- Mary Lane, Reefer Madness
I think the way she says it is what makes it funny. That, and "trip for biscuts" is probably the greatest phrase known to mankind. :-]
"Hold on, boys! I for one would like to hear what the bloodstained young lady has to say!"
- President Roosevelt, Reefer Madness
"I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and dreamer of improbable dreams." - Doctor Who
"Yes, the brutalities of progress are called revolutions. When they are over, men recognize that the human race has been harshly treated but it has moved forward." - Les Miserables
#39
Posted: 5/15/07 at 7:43pm
"What kind of a world do we live in where we can't discuss the similarities between pronography and the musical theatre?"
The Drowsy Chaperone
"I was raised to be charming, not sincere."
Into The Woods
The Drowsy Chaperone
"I was raised to be charming, not sincere."
Into The Woods
"If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it." -Stephen Colbert
#40
Posted: 5/15/07 at 11:37pm
From "The Money Song" in Avenue Q:
Princeton: Come on, Nicky, it'll make you feel great!
Nicky: So would a burger.
And from "Number 918" in Altar Boyz:
"Burning, baking, searing, FLAMING"
Princeton: Come on, Nicky, it'll make you feel great!
Nicky: So would a burger.
And from "Number 918" in Altar Boyz:
"Burning, baking, searing, FLAMING"
#41
Posted: 5/16/07 at 12:42am
Something about "flicking a fly" from Li'l Abner.
But in the meantime, here's my fave from BatBoy:
"Don't talk like a slut, Shelley!"
But in the meantime, here's my fave from BatBoy:
"Don't talk like a slut, Shelley!"
"How could she just suddenly, completely disappear into thin water?" - The Little Mermaid
#42
Posted: 5/16/07 at 7:48am
"Oh my God, she's like Cinderella!"
"And I'm like her fairy godmother, only slutty."
-The Wedding Singer
"And I'm like her fairy godmother, only slutty."
-The Wedding Singer
#43
Posted: 5/16/07 at 9:05am
Sounds like we are "allowed" to quote lines from songs as well as dialogue, so one of my favorites is this one from "Spamalot":
"There's a very small percentile that enjoys a dancing Gentile"
I laugh every time!
"There's a very small percentile that enjoys a dancing Gentile"
I laugh every time!
Maggie-the-schnoodle
#44
Posted: 5/16/07 at 9:20am
"Did you walk??!"
-- Harriet Harris' delivery of this line from THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE had us giggling for a very long time.
-- Harriet Harris' delivery of this line from THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE had us giggling for a very long time.
Itty Bitty Geisha?
Toyland?
Gypsy Pasadoble?
Just a few popular favorites...
#45
Posted: 5/16/07 at 11:02am
There are probably many from Spelling Bee and The Drowsy Chaperone I am forgetting, but the one stuck in my head that keeps bringing a smile is from A Little Night Music in "You should meet my wife".
"She would strike you as unrefined."
"No, I would strike her first"
"She would strike you as unrefined."
"No, I would strike her first"
#46
Posted: 5/16/07 at 11:47am
i love the line in Avenue Q when he goes "put the earmuff on the cookie". my roommate and i actually quote it often.
we also quote the line from Caroline, or Change when she goes "go to bed, Noah". it's not funny but out of context we crack up :)
we also quote the line from Caroline, or Change when she goes "go to bed, Noah". it's not funny but out of context we crack up :)
#47
Posted: 5/16/07 at 11:53am
"But if musicals don't address important political issues, than who will?" - Zanna Don't
"Get mad, then get over it." - Colin Powell
#48
Posted: 5/16/07 at 12:01pm
"A little girl once told me that the sun would come out tomorrow. Her father was a powerful billionare, so I resisted the urge to laugh in her face. But now by gum, I think she may have been on to something!"
--President Roosevelt, Reefer Madness
--President Roosevelt, Reefer Madness
"You're the worst thing to happen to musical theatre since Andrew Lloyd Webber!" --Family Guy
"Shut up! It's been 29 years!!!" --the incomparable Patti LuPone in her MUCH DESERVED Tony acceptance speech for Gypsy.
Kitzy's Avatar du Jour: Kitzy as Little Red Ridinghood in her college's production of "Into the Woods"
"Shut up! It's been 29 years!!!" --the incomparable Patti LuPone in her MUCH DESERVED Tony acceptance speech for Gypsy.
Kitzy's Avatar du Jour: Kitzy as Little Red Ridinghood in her college's production of "Into the Woods"
#49
Posted: 5/16/07 at 1:01pm
i hope you all don't think i'm completely lame for posting this line but...
"perhaps she's killed everyone. perhaps they're all dead!" - michael banks in MARY POPPINS. the line itself isn't funny but the context of the line and the way he delivers the line are hilarious...it makes me laugh every time i hear it
"perhaps she's killed everyone. perhaps they're all dead!" - michael banks in MARY POPPINS. the line itself isn't funny but the context of the line and the way he delivers the line are hilarious...it makes me laugh every time i hear it
#50
Posted: 5/16/07 at 2:39pm
Girl, you make me want to wait
At least until our wedding date
So till then I'll master...
My own fate.
- Altar Boyz
At least until our wedding date
So till then I'll master...
My own fate.
- Altar Boyz
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