What is your favorite funny line from a musical?- Page 2

[Testing1232]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 10:46pm

DRS----

"I dont even have sex and eat bacon for 6 hours"

[Unknown User]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 10:48pm

Jerry's line in Grey Gardens ... "you might want to consider washing those sheets"

[Gothampc]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 11:01pm

Carousel:

Jigger (the dirtbag; when he finds out Julie & Billy are going to have a baby): My mother had a baby once.

Jigger (to Mrs. Mullin): Put on a new coat of paint, you're starting to peel.

Lil Abner:

Lil Abner: Do you get bed and board (bored)?
Apassionata: Frequently.

The Apple Tree:
Adam (discovering Eve): I'll name it later.

[misschung]

Posted: 5/14/07 at 11:09pm

"But you know what bothers me is, if you marry, then you've got another person there all the time." - Company

[Bill63]

Posted: 5/15/07 at 12:13pm

Urinetown:
There's no such thing as Urinetown, we just kill people!

[Lorelai]

Posted: 5/15/07 at 1:50pm

It's in my signature but:

"Things happen for the best...I don't even believe that myself."

[K8eeyore]

Posted: 5/15/07 at 2:24pm

URINETOWN:

"No, dreams are meant to be crushed, Little Sally - it's nature's way."

[singingbackup]

Posted: 5/15/07 at 2:40pm

DROWSY CHAPERONE


"She's an aviatrix...what we now call a lesbian"

"He was the man of a thousand accents, all of them offensive"

"Records...YES records" (The way Bob Martin delivers the line within the context of the show is brilliant!)

[aspen]

Posted: 5/15/07 at 4:06pm

My Fair Lady.

Higgins: You impudent hussy!

[scott68]

Posted: 5/15/07 at 4:36pm

Into the Woods, Cinderella's Prince: "I was raised to be charming, not sincere."

I laugh out loud every time.

[uncageg]

Posted: 5/15/07 at 4:41pm

Thw Witch in "Into the Woods" -

"I was only trying to be a good mother"!

[PaintWordPictures]

Posted: 5/15/07 at 5:18pm

"Have you ever considered shooting Franklin D. Roosevelt?"
"You think it help?"
"I couldn't hurt."

[Perfectly Marvelous]

Posted: 5/15/07 at 6:14pm

"Bad stuff, indeed! Had it been just mere herion..."
- High School Lecturer, Reefer Madness

"It's awfully considerate of you to help me study for Romeo and Juliet, Jimmy! Come exam time I would have been on a trip for biscuts!"
- Mary Lane, Reefer Madness

I think the way she says it is what makes it funny. That, and "trip for biscuts" is probably the greatest phrase known to mankind. :-]

"Hold on, boys! I for one would like to hear what the bloodstained young lady has to say!"
- President Roosevelt, Reefer Madness

[singtopher]

Posted: 5/15/07 at 7:43pm

"What kind of a world do we live in where we can't discuss the similarities between pronography and the musical theatre?"
The Drowsy Chaperone

"I was raised to be charming, not sincere."
Into The Woods

[LifeofTheParty2]

Posted: 5/15/07 at 11:37pm

From "The Money Song" in Avenue Q:
Princeton: Come on, Nicky, it'll make you feel great!
Nicky: So would a burger.

And from "Number 918" in Altar Boyz:
"Burning, baking, searing, FLAMING"

[Josh Freilich]

Posted: 5/16/07 at 12:42am

Something about "flicking a fly" from Li'l Abner.

But in the meantime, here's my fave from BatBoy:

"Don't talk like a slut, Shelley!"

[Andante]

Posted: 5/16/07 at 7:48am

"Oh my God, she's like Cinderella!"
"And I'm like her fairy godmother, only slutty."
-The Wedding Singer

[karen24]

Posted: 5/16/07 at 9:05am

Sounds like we are "allowed" to quote lines from songs as well as dialogue, so one of my favorites is this one from "Spamalot":
"There's a very small percentile that enjoys a dancing Gentile"
I laugh every time!

[scooter38432]

Posted: 5/16/07 at 9:20am

"Did you walk??!"

-- Harriet Harris' delivery of this line from THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE had us giggling for a very long time.

[ErinDillyFan]

Posted: 5/16/07 at 11:02am

There are probably many from Spelling Bee and The Drowsy Chaperone I am forgetting, but the one stuck in my head that keeps bringing a smile is from A Little Night Music in "You should meet my wife".

"She would strike you as unrefined."

"No, I would strike her first"

[folkyboy]

Posted: 5/16/07 at 11:47am

i love the line in Avenue Q when he goes "put the earmuff on the cookie". my roommate and i actually quote it often.

we also quote the line from Caroline, or Change when she goes "go to bed, Noah". it's not funny but out of context we crack up :)

[Kelly2]

Posted: 5/16/07 at 11:53am

"But if musicals don't address important political issues, than who will?" - Zanna Don't

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 5/16/07 at 12:01pm

"A little girl once told me that the sun would come out tomorrow. Her father was a powerful billionare, so I resisted the urge to laugh in her face. But now by gum, I think she may have been on to something!"

--President Roosevelt, Reefer Madness

[jess20882]

Posted: 5/16/07 at 1:01pm

i hope you all don't think i'm completely lame for posting this line but...

"perhaps she's killed everyone. perhaps they're all dead!" - michael banks in MARY POPPINS. the line itself isn't funny but the context of the line and the way he delivers the line are hilarious...it makes me laugh every time i hear it

[Jade]

Posted: 5/16/07 at 2:39pm

Girl, you make me want to wait
At least until our wedding date
So till then I'll master...
My own fate.

- Altar Boyz