apathy, entropy, empathy, ecstasy

[insomniak]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 8:36pm

Last spring, I was skimming the broadway.com headlines like I do every day, and I saw the announcement for the Rent movie. I was completely elated; I literally laid on the floor and hyperventilated. My search for further information led me to this site. Needless to say, I didn't know what I was getting into.

It's been a really long year and a half, all of which boiled down to this snowy afternoon.

The Cliff Notes Version: It's good; it's really good. It made me cry, laugh and want to reread Angels in America.

AiA is a funny thing to compare to Rent. When you lay them out, they share more than a few topics. While Angels spans a much greater width of theme, its characters are at times reminscient of those in Rent. Louis in particular comes to mind. Watching Roger, I could hear in my head "what if this person isn't particularly good with death. What if sores and disease frighten him?"

In the end of Perestroika, though, Louis has settled and Prior comes to terms with the conditions under which his life exists. In a nutshell, his philosophy is No Day But Today.

So why, then, does Rent's optimistic ending recieve so much more criticism than Angels' affirmation of hope? Is one really so much less realistic than another?

A large part of the argument against Rent pertains to Mimi's death. It's been said that her coming back to life cheapens the deaths of real AIDS victims; that no one can really just snap their fingers and return. I could also argue the same thing of Angels in America. Though it's less dramatic, Prior does well survive his dropping T-cell count.

So do stories like these have happy endings? I don't know. This unknown creates a sense of doubt within those messages for me, but somehow, I think that even a flawed mantra is better than flat up fear. That principal also applies to my feelings about this movie. Is it accurate, was it real, is the music good? I could drive myself crazy for ages trying to figure it out, or I could accept that once upon a time, this show did change the way I saw my life.

This past year clouded that feeling. There have been screenings of this, visits to this set, meetings with that actor. I was never a part of any of it and I hated it. Rent, against all intentions, became a politicized, commercial way of one-upping the next priviledged person. But God knows that if I were in the place of a specific other, I'd do the same. So why, then do I find it easier to criticize than to compare myself to them?

Again, I guess it's more dramatic. But even the flawed is better than nothing. When I watched certain sequences, I knew more about them than most in the theater because of the information passed along to me from this board. It's been a masochistic journey, reading this board and waiting for the chance that would never come. But in the end, I suppose I was better off. I've burned with jealousy over the things people here have experienced, but I guess I was better off. I guess that I "suppose", anyway. It's a place I'm trying to get to.

Because I was never Anthony's buddy or a Biggest Renthead Candidate, I was probably less prejudiced in this movie's favor than most fans. The more I heard about Rent, the further I moved from it and reading about people sobbing from the opening note onward didn't make me think more highly of this movie's potential. Reading some of the anit-Rent arguments has also made me slightly ashamed to like it, as if I were insulting the real homeless junkies and poor artists. So with baited breath and bitter resentment, I got a ticket.

It was good. Hearing Seasons of Love was very strange. It's become quite generic, everyone knows it and no one knows what it's from. But listening to this cast sing it was like hearing it again for the very first time. The whole film felt that way and I stopped thinking of the actors as Adam, Rosario, Anthony, ect. They were people, not actors and all of the bww hype faded away.

The movie reminded me of what drew me into the show in the first place. The characters feel very real to me and their suffering is inextricably bound up with my reality. I was pulled back into this time warp of a musical. When Mimi 'died' and came back, it wasn't so much a distortment of reality, it was a little bit of hope. I want so very much for the "real deals" to feel that way too, but maybe it's impossible. And maybe that's ok, and maybe it's not, but at any rate, seeing this show or any is an individual thing. It did something for me, both on the screen and stage. And criticism, mantra, and behind the scenes secrets aside, it is what it is to the viewer.

For me, it was ecstatic, carthatic and healthy. I went back to the source of the jealousy and doubt that has built up around my feelings towards Rent. It's a little bit of give and take with this movie. You give into the symbolism of Mimi's resurrection and you take from it a little piece of idealism. Even for someone who doesn't have AIDS, that reminder of living for the moment and not dwelling or worrying is vital. It's ok to be hopeful again.

They say you can't go home again, but maybe that's just another bit of cynicism. I didn't die dramatically, but seeing this movie brought me back.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 8:44pm

This is one of my favorite posts about the movie. And I know you probably think I'm "just saying that," but it is. It's not the usual "it's so beautiful; I cried; I love it!" while that is all well and good. You're one of the best writers I know, but you took an angle that nobody else I know would think to take.

And I'm very, very glad that you liked it in the end.

[Chloe]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 8:46pm

That was wonderful, Nia.

[insomniak]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 8:47pm

Thanks, Em and Chloe. (do I win my bet now? )

As stated elsewhere, I strongly dislike Adam's serious lack of a ROLE. Roger is the most underwritten. The movie still works, but I've always been attached to Roger (even before I'd heard of Adam) and I wanted to know more about him.

Updated On: 11/23/05 at 08:47 PM

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 8:50pm

Maybe... maybe not....

And like I've said before, I love what they *did* add to Roger, but yes, I wanted to see more of his change. I was attached to him before I knew Adam did the show, too.

[insomniak]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 8:53pm

There were a few cute additions, I liked Mimi and Roger's short, quiet little 'so you're a tough guy, huh?' conversation after she bought her drugs before Maureen's protest. The dialogue just needed to be played up more so it didn't pale in comparison to the songs.

The atmosphere, however, was amazing. Every piece of paper taped to the wall, every accessory fit effortlessly into the movie. It really brought the story to life. The TVs in Over the Moon were hysterical.

The reviews make it look as though any and all awards are out of the question, which I find sad.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 8:57pm

haha, I liked that, too. I love how flirtacious Rosario is as Mimi. They needed more things like that. My favorite addition, though, hands down, is Roger going to the Life Support meeting.

[amasis]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 8:59pm

[Chloe]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:03pm

I wanted to see more of him too, but I probably would no matter what. I have to see it again and get a little more perspective. (I was a little like Adam said he was seeing it the first time - I mostly looked at him.)

I'm very cheered that the movie could have such a healing effect. If the movie does really well at the box office, that could offset the bad reviews somewhat. Or a lot. It's hard for me to take the whole awards thing seriously anyway.

[insomniak]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:05pm

Hello, amasis.

You know, it really did, Chloe. I needed it very much.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:06pm

The image of Adam's face, twenty feet tall, wasn't enough for you, Chloe?

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:08pm

oo, I never thought about it...the moon will be BIG!

BIIIG!

[Chloe]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:08pm

it was a start...

[insomniak]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:10pm

Yeah, Your Eyes creeped me out a bit....

And I don't like the Santa Fe/WYO thing either.

Slightly off topic, but someone else thought I looked like Rosario too, Emcee.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:11pm

See, I'm not crazy.

I get that they wanted Your Eyes to be from Mimi's point of view, but when I'm creeped out by Adam, you know it's too much.

[amasis]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:14pm

Hello, nia .

That was a lovely bit of reflection. I'd write more, but I have a deadline approaching in 1,5 hours, and anyway I think you already know what I think of you and the way you write. Glad to see you back on the boards.

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:14pm

"but when I'm creeped out by Adam, you know it's too much."

Yes, it is...

[insomniak]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:15pm

Yikes, amasis. Go work!

And thank you.

I'll be around later, if you'd like to chat.

Emcee, exactly.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:17pm

Imagine it on IMAX....

*cackle*

[Chloe]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:20pm

Didn't really creep me out - I don't think I thought about the angle. I thought the beginning of Goodbye Love should have been played in closer shots. It'll be hard for people unfamiliar with the show to know who's saying what, for one thing, and I wanted to see their faces. Also wanted some closer shots for I Should Tell You.

I just read something about how depression is considered "unmanly" in our culture (so depressed men act out with anger) and wondered if that was some kind of subconscious influence on the way Roger was portrayed.

I should mention that despite these nitpicks, I really, really loved the movie too.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:22pm

In the movie, he seemed less angry than he apparently was on stage. On stage, I gather that he was a bit more... volcanic; like all of the anger was just going to erupt at any second. In the movie he felt more subtle (with the obvious exception of Another Day), and I think that allowed you to see his guilt and self-loathing more. I guess that's what eights years of thought got us!

[Chloe]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 9:26pm

Good point, Emcee. I do think his performance was quite subtle. Some of my favorite moments were his responses to Mimi's message.

I was actually thinking more about the writer, editor and Chris Columbus - whether they needed to distance themselves from Roger a little bit. My amateur psychologizing for the evening.

[insomniak]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 10:16pm

That could be. I thought that maybe they spent so much time on the characters that are underdeveloped in the show that they just forgot about Roger.

Thanks to the "old guard" for reading and caring.

[LariTheLoud]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 10:30pm

...

Am I the only one who WASN'T creeped out by 20 foot tall Face o' Adam?

[Alix7272]

Posted: 11/23/05 at 11:01pm

Thanks for writing that insomniak. It brought it back home.