Forbidden BWW: Create Your Own Schtick- Page 4

[BroadwayDiva]

Posted: 3/1/05 at 4:36pm

Thank you VERY VERY much for those!!!

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 3/1/05 at 6:21pm

I'm working on one now, but it's giving me a hard time...come on, BSO and myself can't be the only creative ones with too much time on our hands...

[Caroline-Q-or-TBoo]

Posted: 3/1/05 at 7:12pm

i tried but it sucked

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 3/1/05 at 8:09pm

"I Can't Make This Movie" from NINE

SUSAN STROMAN:

Not since John Caraffa
Has there ever been a stage director like me,
Susan Stroman!

Everything he touches turns to crap
Whether it's a VIBE or a VAMP,
John Caraffa!

He's such a putz...

I can't make this movie, there's no way I'm
Cut out for it.
I can't bear to see this crap on film!
Problem is the music, there's no pleasant
Way to do it.
Problem is Mel Brook's can't write a score.
How I wish I didn't have to do this,
But we cut the losses starting now.
Stike the set and keep it for the trash heap,
Tell Nathan and Matthew they both go!

Find another genius, I can't be one or become one,
I can't even tell how I'd begin.
Help Sam Mendes! Help me, help me Mendes, Help me SOMEONE!
Here's a place where I have never been.
Susan out in space with no direction,
Susan at a loss for what to do,
Susan with no meritable actors,
Susan at the mercy of detractors,
Susan here with no one else but
Susan Stroman!

(She slumps in dispair.)

[cvapb]

Posted: 3/1/05 at 8:13pm

another masterpiece!

[Jwei123]

Posted: 3/1/05 at 8:16pm

munk= witty

[luvliza89]

Posted: 3/1/05 at 8:44pm

WOW, just wow Munk. I heart you so much for that Liza song. It was witty beyond words. This thread is great! Updated On: 3/1/05 at 08:44 PM

[Jwei123]

Posted: 3/1/05 at 8:50pm

luvliza~ i love the avatar...emmy is so hot!

[luvliza89]

Posted: 3/1/05 at 8:52pm

Thanks Jwei!

Emmy is hot, esp. when sandwiched by Patrick Wilson and Gerard Butler!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 3/1/05 at 9:49pm

Come on people, write!

[luvliza89]

Posted: 3/1/05 at 10:52pm

Ok, heres my go at this. I cut out a lot of the original cause I couldn't get very creative. Oh well, here it is.

Sound Like Nothing
[Nothing]
from A Chorus Line

LIZA:
Everyday for a year
I would try to get my voice back, get my voice back
Lay off the pills
Everyday for a year
I would try to strech my vocals, strech my vocals
Revive a diva
And I tried very hard to sound 20 again
Reclaim some dignity
Yes, I tried very hard to belt with gusto
But I failed, I failed!

And David's on CNN going 'Ouch Ouch. Look at where Liza hit me! See the scars that Liza made!' And Liza Taylor calls me and says 'Okay Liza it's time to pick yourself up yet again. How do sound?'

And I said nothing; I sound like nothing
And Liz said nothing could get a girl bankrupt
I sang all day, but I sound like nothing
Except like Judy after smoking 12 packs a day

But I said to myself, don't worry about it. Maybe the audience will love me; espically the gays who applaud when I hit E flat!

Back to the standards try to
Belt out "Cabaret", Belt out "All That Jazz"
Sound like Chita
David's burying me on the Today Show
I'll show him up, I'll show the world whose
Got the voice
And I recorded myself singing "Ring Them Bells"
To see how where my voice stood.
Yes, I recorded myself singing over and over
And I tried to belt

And all I got was nothing, my voice was nothing
And the gays felt sorry, which really made me burn!
If I can't impress them then I surely fail a life!

Six months later I tried once more
So I dug right down to find my talent
And cried
Cause I sang like nothing

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 3/1/05 at 11:09pm

Haha, oh, Liza...

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 3/2/05 at 3:04pm

come on creative people!

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 3/2/05 at 5:38pm

Seriously, I think this is the best thread on the whole board. People are lame!

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 3/8/05 at 10:09pm

Woo, I created the best thread ever!

Mel Brooks Got It Wrong:

I wanna be a producer
With a hit show on Broadway
I wanna be a producer
Sleep with woman every day
I wanna be a producer
Sport a top hat and a cane
I wanna be a producer
And drive those chorus girls insane!
I wanna be a producer
And sleep with every single Jew
I wanna be a producer
And say, "You, you, you, not you"
I wanna be a producer
Wear a tux on op'ning nights!
I wanna be a producer
Money and wild sex all nights!


LAME - But I wanted to bump the thread!

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 3/13/05 at 1:20am

bump

[JadedBenevolence]

Posted: 3/13/05 at 2:31am

Wow! Some really funny stuff. This is great.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 3/13/05 at 12:31pm

Not creative enuf to participate but still VERY appreciative of everyone's work. Some very funny & snotty people here. Talented too!

[lovettespies]

Posted: 3/13/05 at 1:31pm

I used to write tons of these, I'll try to dig them out of my closet. Until then PLEASE keep writing! This is the only thing keeping me from a long night of physics equations.

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 3/14/05 at 6:24pm

[My Favorite Things]

Zepka likes Emmy, BSO likes Di-Di
Mistress and Matt go together so well
With Patrick, beacon wants to have a fling
These are a few of our favorite things!

Love4Cheno, is she confused? – NO!
She’s savin’ her lovin’ for Gwyneth Paltrow
Corine loves Kate, especially when she sings
These are a few of our favorite things!

MadeofGold is bold and said she likes Harold
Jwei loves Saycon, Munk wants to see Clive’s Dong
AndyHardy is hard, he is ready for Heath’s thing
These are a few of our favorite things!

Last, and of course most, Em wants to do Adam
Cats really wants to get dirty with Hunnam
And Therese loves to give Lyon a spanking
These are a few of our favorite things!

Sorry if you were excluded, it was done intentionally !

(from the other thread on which I originally put this)

[munkustrap178]

Posted: 3/14/05 at 7:18pm

That doesn't fit with the song even a little bit.........

but you're correct, I do want to see Clive's "dong."

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 3/14/05 at 7:19pm

um, it does...you just have to change some stressing...

Updated On: 6/13/05 at 07:19 PM

[Thenardier]

Posted: 6/13/05 at 3:54pm

MARTH STEWART

So hand to me a contract
And let me sign away
It seems in every legal matter
All celebs deserve to get their way

And if I'm truly cheating
The stock market or at craps
To those who try to indict me
Watch this anarchist fly the trap

Tell them how I am defying legality
I'm striving hard defying legality
And soon I'll take my cash and flee

And nobody in all of D.C.
Now government officiality
Is ever gonna indict me!

INDICT ME!!!!!

CHORUS

MARTHA
MARTHA
STEWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART!

MARTHA STEWART

NANANANANANANANANANANANANA!

https://forum.broadwayworld.com/readmessage.cfm?thread=851453

Jennifer Laura Thompson (as Galinda)
idinamenzelfan500109, now that you have admitted to sort of liking me, I must tell you: you will be my new project!

idinamenzelfan500109
For what?

Jennifer Laura Thompson (as Galinda)
To make you like Shoshana as much as you like Idina!

idinamenzelfan500109
Oh, you don’t have to do that!

Jennifer Laura Thompson (as Galinda)
I know! That’s what makes me so nice!

Whenever I see someone
More dumbified than I
(And let’s face it – who isn’t?
More dumbified than I?)
My tender heart
Tends to start to bleed
And if in need of neurosurgery
You’ll see I will be there for free
I know (I know) exactly what you need
And even in your case
Though it’s the dumbest case I’ve yet to face
Don’t worry – I’m determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed
You will be:

Much smarter!
You’re gonna be much smarter!
I’ll teach you what to post
So you’ll get the most
Respect on BroadwayWorld
I’ll show you how to type
To avoid the hype
You gain when your grammar’s twirled

You’ll be much smarter
I’ll help you be much smarter!
When you talk about Idina
And sound like a hyena
Even when your stupidity you somehow show
So let’s start
‘Cause you’ve got an awfully long way to go:

Even though you like Idina I can see your phallus is
Making dear Shoshana cause you flaccid paralysis
Now it’s time to realize that you judge amiss, I must persist
That you begin to resist
Posting stupidly (and you’ll be)
Much Smarter
I’ll make you seem much smarter
And with a lesson with me
To be what you should be
Instead of feebly who-you-are …and were (ummm)
There’s nothing that can stop you
From becoming much smart-ar….-er

Smarter, Smarter

I'm gonna make you
Much smarter

When I see depressing posts where
You’re showing off your really gross air
I’ll remind you on your own behalf
To think of
Celebrated adult posters
Who are great communicators
Of their great knowledge and opinions
So don’t make them bash!

They are much smarter! Please –
It’s all about being smarter!
So don’t become moodified
When you are denied,
And not bona fide to be
So very, very much smarter
Like me!


Why, idinamenzelfan500109, I think you are becoming smarter!

idinamenzelfan500109
No! I still think Shoshana is ugly and sucks! I don’t want to be smarter! I want to post frivolous posts and !@#$%^&* Idina! Well, I have to go. Sing without me!

Jennifer Laura Thompson (as Galinda)
Well, that’s not very tween like!

And although you impart
That you are quite smart
I know promptly we’ll see:
You’ll have to soon depart or
Just become tons smarter now!
Smarter, Smarter!
You’ll be much smarter –
Just not quite all that much smarter (What!?)
Like me!

https://forum.broadwayworld.com/readmessage.cfm?page=2&thread=851721&startthread=1077752&boardname=off

Updated On: 6/13/05 at 03:54 PM

[BillFinn]

Posted: 6/13/05 at 4:01pm

Some of the lyrics don't fit the music. Sorry! Rough draft. I'm one of the few that didn't enjoy DRS.

What a Scam! (Here I Am :: DRS)

What a Scam!
Wouldya look at that revolving floor?
Look at the stalwart boys!
Pardon me, but seeing that shore
and that plastic roof
could make France uncouth!
How the hell did I get here?

God blessed me with Kurt Detusch. I’m rewarded.
Now every show I’m in gets recorded.
This type cast role? I do abhor!
At least this show’s got lovely décor
But what a bore! What a scam!

Lord knows, I've barely seen Joanna Gleason.
This unused talent's part of the reason
why I can't stand this tawdry show.
Oh wait. That's a joke? That's good to know!
I may be slow but what a scam!

Oh the way it seems to be is fake.
The way John Lithgow speaks is fake.
So what a scam, putting on airs,
A set left-over from Les Miserables!

I could deluded. Is that the sea?
Don’t you leave just yet. Our CDs are free.
Excuse me if I walk out soon.
You see John can't carry a tune.
Every shirt he wears
will be sold at Broadway Cares!
Nothing compares to this big scam.

(Sherie skips stage left. Then she skips stage right) Choreography!

I mean the sky is fake.
This guy is fake.
My platinum hair dye is fake.
The pets are fake.
The guests are fake.
The rest are fake.
My breasts are fake!

Pardon me if I screech my vibrato
It’s for all my fans who won the lotto.
Now let me sing one Latin phrase
since in France, Latin is the craze!
"Ego sum decessio"
Translation: I‘m ready to go!
It's a tacky show. Yes!
What a scam!

[Liam]

Posted: 6/13/05 at 4:50pm

TMM-not for the life of me
I studied all the pictures in magazines and books
I memorized the subway map too
It's one block north to Macy's and two to Brothers Brooks
Manhattan, I prepared for you

You certainly are diff'rent from what they have back home
Where nothing's over three stories high
And no one's in a hurry or wants to roam
But I do, and they wonder why

They said I would soon be good and lonely
They said I would sing the homesick blues
(taking a train ticket from her pocket)
So I always have this ticket in my pocket
A ticket home in my pocket
To do with as I choose

(tearing the ticket in two)
Burn the bridge, bet the store
Baby's coming home no more
Not for the life of me
Break the lock, post my bail
Done my time, I'm out of jail
Not for the life of me

A life that's gotta be more than a one-light town
Where the light is always red
Gotta be more than an old ghost town
Where the ghost ain't even dead

Clap-a-your hands, just-a-because
Don't you know that where I am ain't where I was
Not for the life of me
Boh-doh-dee-oh
Not for the life of
Not for the life of
Not for the life of me!
-------------------------------------------
BWW im prepaired for you....
-Liam

i studyed all the other posters in the of topic board
i read all the guyed lines too
Liam is a legend
and BillFinn is a star
broadway world im prepaired for you
you sertinly are difrent
from the theter grupe at my jr. high
where no one knows the difrence from wicked or Q
but i do
tho they wonder whyyyy
they saide i would never be a legend
they saied 1000 post is too much
so i always kept on typing
yes always kept on typing
to tri to proove them wronge
hey dgrant
BROADWAYBOOBS
now im up there with youuuuuuu
dollypop
hey yenta
did my post now i am there
i poster thats gota be more then a one month show
where the postes ant evin goooddddclap your hand
just becouse
where i am aint where i was
not for the life of meeeee

Boh-doh-dee-oh