I'm sick..My boyfriend opted to go skiing...and I'm venting on BWW — Page 2
#27
Posted: 1/25/14 at 8:42pm
Well, I don't know how long you've been with him, Carlos, but I think the fact that what you think is important in the relationship is different than what he thinks is important, is more than just a little thing. If you're the type that jersey girl described, and your boyfriend isn't, well, the same issue you're having now might occur pretty often.
<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES
#28
Posted: 1/25/14 at 8:47pm
^ That is true. So I am going to wait for him to get back and have a heart-to-heart with him.
#29
Posted: 1/25/14 at 8:50pm
I think the problem here is the expectation. You have an unspoken assumption of what is the right thing to do in these kind of circumstances.
If having someone who takes care of you on their free weekends is important, you should be with that kind of guy. Otherwise, you need to understand that this will happen again as he now has a reference.
If having someone who takes care of you on their free weekends is important, you should be with that kind of guy. Otherwise, you need to understand that this will happen again as he now has a reference.
Listen, I don't take my clothes off for anyone, even if it is "artistic". - JANICE
#30
Posted: 1/25/14 at 8:57pm
"If having someone who takes care of you on their free weekends is important,"
I didn't know it has boiled down to the above.
I didn't know it has boiled down to the above.
<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES
#31
Posted: 1/25/14 at 9:07pm
It was just an example. He expected him to be present within the circumstances.
Listen, I don't take my clothes off for anyone, even if it is "artistic". - JANICE
#32
Posted: 1/25/14 at 9:10pm
Am I expecting too much?
Having someone who takes care of me on their free weekends isn't really the issue so much as I was really looking forward to spending a weekend with him regardless of whether I was sick or not.
We both have incredibly busy professional schedules so yes, weekend alone time is very important to me.
Having someone who takes care of me on their free weekends isn't really the issue so much as I was really looking forward to spending a weekend with him regardless of whether I was sick or not.
We both have incredibly busy professional schedules so yes, weekend alone time is very important to me.
Updated On: 1/25/14 at 09:10 PM
#33
Posted: 1/25/14 at 9:24pm
I don't think you are expecting too much. But he either does not feel the same way or his priorities are different.
It is important for him to know what you need and want from him. I think in a relationship all commitments and expectations need to be brought forward to avoid disappointment.
It is important for him to know what you need and want from him. I think in a relationship all commitments and expectations need to be brought forward to avoid disappointment.
Listen, I don't take my clothes off for anyone, even if it is "artistic". - JANICE
#34
Posted: 1/25/14 at 9:36pm
Now, if you really want to get revenge on him, you don't log onto the Internet under your own name...
You log on somewhere under his.
THAT'S when the fun begins...
You log on somewhere under his.
THAT'S when the fun begins...
#35
Posted: 1/25/14 at 9:41pm
Oh no...I would never do that PalJoey.
It is important for him to know what you need and want from him. I think in a relationship all commitments and expectations need to be brought forward to avoid disappointment.
Yes, blaxx. I hope to accomplish this when he returns from his trip.
It is important for him to know what you need and want from him. I think in a relationship all commitments and expectations need to be brought forward to avoid disappointment.
Yes, blaxx. I hope to accomplish this when he returns from his trip.
#36
Posted: 1/25/14 at 9:43pm
When my boyfriend or I have something contagious yet not devastating, like a cold, the other makes sure the sick one has all the supplies he could possibly need during his recovery and then TAKES OFF. The last thing we need is two of us sick.
Twitter @NamoInExile
Instagram none
#37
Posted: 1/25/14 at 9:43pm
So now I'm going to shut the fvck up about it and lose myself in medication and musical theater overkill...lol
#38
Posted: 1/25/14 at 9:46pm
THAT'S the spirit.
Twitter @NamoInExile
Instagram none
#39
Posted: 1/25/14 at 9:50pm
Shoe size 11. That's pretty decent. And a hell of a lot better than the man in your current avatar, I'm afraid to report. I say stick with it.
#40
Posted: 1/25/14 at 9:53pm
LOL @ HorseTears. @ss..." width="14" height="14" src=https://cloudimages.broadwayworld.com/board/wink.gif>
Gracias Namo. :-*
Gracias Namo. :-*
#41
Posted: 1/26/14 at 1:05am
Carlos, you change avatars more frequently than your bf changes weekend plans. For the record, my prior message was in reference to Chris Pine and his adorable little baby girl feet.
Feel better, Carlos!
Feel better, Carlos!
#42
Posted: 1/26/14 at 2:16am
Carlos - He sounds like a fair weather friend. I'm not sure he will change after you have a talk with him. It would have been nice if he had said, "I know that we made plans for the weekend, but since you are not feeling well..."
It will also be interesting to see how quickly he contacts you and asks you how you are feeling.
It will also be interesting to see how quickly he contacts you and asks you how you are feeling.
#43
Posted: 1/26/14 at 5:30am
Talking about it when he comes back sounds like a good idea, tell him why you're upset, but I would do it nicely, since you pretended to be fine with his trip. It would be interesting how he likes to be treated when he's sick, because some people prefer to be left alone (my boyfriend gets terribly annoyed when I try to take care of him when he's sick).
#44
Posted: 1/26/14 at 8:01am
There are definitely two kinds of sick people. The kind who like TLC and attention and the added company, and the kind who push everybody else away and grumble and moan and can't stand the sight of other human beings without tearing their heads off.
You're the first kind, Carlos. Maybe he's the second kind, and was just treating you as he would want to be treated himself.
But there are also fair-weather friends, as LaurenB says, who disappear at the first sign of something that isn't "positive" or "fun" or "easy."
So how was "Lost Horizon?" @ss..." width="14" height="14" src=https://cloudimages.broadwayworld.com/board/happy.gif>
You're the first kind, Carlos. Maybe he's the second kind, and was just treating you as he would want to be treated himself.
But there are also fair-weather friends, as LaurenB says, who disappear at the first sign of something that isn't "positive" or "fun" or "easy."
So how was "Lost Horizon?" @ss..." width="14" height="14" src=https://cloudimages.broadwayworld.com/board/happy.gif>
"Jaws is the Citizen Kane of movies."
blocked: logan2, Diamonds3, Hamilton22
blocked: logan2, Diamonds3, Hamilton22
#45
Posted: 1/26/14 at 9:14am
Carlos, you are a lovely man. I speak from BWW experience only of course.
You feel, sick and sorry for yourself. Don't judge your man too harshly.
I agree with Bestie about the two kinds of sick people, your man maybe thought leaving you to get better was the right thing.
He'll be home soon and you can sort things out.
You get well, rest up and keep warm and you'll be back on your back in no time @ss..." width="14" height="14" src=https://cloudimages.broadwayworld.com/board/wink.gif>
x
You feel, sick and sorry for yourself. Don't judge your man too harshly.
I agree with Bestie about the two kinds of sick people, your man maybe thought leaving you to get better was the right thing.
He'll be home soon and you can sort things out.
You get well, rest up and keep warm and you'll be back on your back in no time @ss..." width="14" height="14" src=https://cloudimages.broadwayworld.com/board/wink.gif>
x
#46
Posted: 1/26/14 at 9:34am
Your boyfriend is in one of three situations:
1) He honestly in his own mind thinks this was a perfectly reasonable reaction.
2) He kind of knows this wasn't the best thing to do but managed to rationalize it (eg he wants to be alone to rest, doesn't want me to get sick etc)
3) He knows what he did was wrong...but screw it, he wants to go skiing.
You need to figure out which boyfriend you have. You need to define what your relationship expectations are very clearly and communicate them to him very clearly. If you have no middle ground or willingness to work on those things, cutting bait before you waste a lot of time might be in your best interest. You might consider relationship therapy. The thing about therapy is that a mediator will bring up the difficult things without your having to do so, and if you are paying for time and are there you are a lot more likely to discuss them and not stomp off mad. I know I don't know you but we have all lived this at some point.
1) He honestly in his own mind thinks this was a perfectly reasonable reaction.
2) He kind of knows this wasn't the best thing to do but managed to rationalize it (eg he wants to be alone to rest, doesn't want me to get sick etc)
3) He knows what he did was wrong...but screw it, he wants to go skiing.
You need to figure out which boyfriend you have. You need to define what your relationship expectations are very clearly and communicate them to him very clearly. If you have no middle ground or willingness to work on those things, cutting bait before you waste a lot of time might be in your best interest. You might consider relationship therapy. The thing about therapy is that a mediator will bring up the difficult things without your having to do so, and if you are paying for time and are there you are a lot more likely to discuss them and not stomp off mad. I know I don't know you but we have all lived this at some point.
#47
Posted: 1/26/14 at 10:24am
Relationship therapy?! Oh, give me a break... Carlos will handle it just fine and, knowing him, can address the problem head on with a clear and thoughtful conversation. I would personally never suggest therapy over an issue like this. Start with opening up a dialogue first, and then go from there.
Feel better, Carlos. Sending all of my good thoughts and positive vibes across the bridge to New Jersey!
Feel better, Carlos. Sending all of my good thoughts and positive vibes across the bridge to New Jersey!
#48
Posted: 1/26/14 at 10:38am
You sound Scientological.
Twitter @NamoInExile
Instagram none
#49
Posted: 1/26/14 at 11:09am
I would personally never suggest therapy over an issue like this.
I think it was Shakespeare who said, "The fool thinks he practices wisdom when he speaks, but the problem is: He speaks."
I think it was Shakespeare who said, "The fool thinks he practices wisdom when he speaks, but the problem is: He speaks."
#50
Posted: 1/26/14 at 11:29am
Thanks for the feedback fellas, sometimes you need it from people who are not too close to the situation and who possibly have way more relationship experience to get a different and hopefully clearer perspective.
You see, I haven't been in many long-term committed relationships, only 2 and they were 3 years each...after that I became a serial dater for about 12 years so after being with myself for such a long time it takes some getting used to. He's truly the first guy that I have met in over a decade who I have allowed into "my world", "my space". He's someone I can see sharing my life with and I truly thought I would never be able to say that, so I really don't want to fvck it up by being too impulsive or unreasonable with him.
I will be fine. I will talk to him and hopefully we'll meet each other 1/2 way and come to some sort of compromise. I just really want to let him know that the only reason I was bothered was because I really and truly was looking forward to being with and spending time with him alone. It was that important to me.
Ugh, I can't stand this. This guy is making me feel all warm and fuzzy...and vulnerable. L O L!!
*Sigh* it is what it is.
You see, I haven't been in many long-term committed relationships, only 2 and they were 3 years each...after that I became a serial dater for about 12 years so after being with myself for such a long time it takes some getting used to. He's truly the first guy that I have met in over a decade who I have allowed into "my world", "my space". He's someone I can see sharing my life with and I truly thought I would never be able to say that, so I really don't want to fvck it up by being too impulsive or unreasonable with him.
I will be fine. I will talk to him and hopefully we'll meet each other 1/2 way and come to some sort of compromise. I just really want to let him know that the only reason I was bothered was because I really and truly was looking forward to being with and spending time with him alone. It was that important to me.
Ugh, I can't stand this. This guy is making me feel all warm and fuzzy...and vulnerable. L O L!!
*Sigh* it is what it is.
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