"In an Open Relationship"- Page 2
"In an Open Relationship"
#25'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 4:23am
I would like to try one...I think I wouldn't mind my BF sleeping around, as long as I know he comes home to me. That's just my thought, I don't have time or energy to have sex everyday, so it would benefit me.
dramamama611
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/4/07
#26'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 6:00am
#27'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 8:44am
I have been with my guy for 5 years and we are in an open relationship, it's something that works well for us. We have seen so many of gay friends who are couples finish a relationship because of cheating. It sounds awful but the majority of gay people cant seem to keep it in their pants lol. We have eliminated that problem. I love him more than the world and we have many rules about what we can do, what we cant do etc. We would never stay overnight with someone for example, we never meet that person more than twice and so on and so on. To be fiar its something we dont even take advantage of that much, we just know it's there.
Sex is one part of a relationship, everything in ours is beyond perfect, but also sometimes they may be things he wants to try in the bedroom or i do and the other is not in to it, instead of supressing what we want to do we can do it.
Wow that was personal lol
#28'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 9:45am
Hmmm...perhaps I'm in the minority, but 16+ years and still monogomous here. It's not that hard...I mean difficult. I'm certainly no prude and dont judge those in an honest open relationship, but it's not for us. It's been discussed in theory, but I just am not interested in the jeopardy. I know several open relationships that ended over jealousy as well, but that doesnt assume they cant work.
Likewise, I find it offensive that some would imply that gay monogomy cant work.
"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#29'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 10:22am
If you can't expect him to follow the "Don't f*** anyone else" rule, how do you expect him to follow the "only once" or "no sleepovers" rule?
Updated On: 11/10/10 at 10:22 AM
#30'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 10:23am...Muscle has a boyfriend?
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/22/03
#31'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 11:04am
If he can't "expect" him to follow a don't sleep with anyone else rule? Do you mean "have sex with" when you say "don't sleep with"? Because when there is no expectation of sexual monogamy, then there is no rule there to break.
And if the agreed upon parameter is "you don't stay over at somebody else's house" it would be pretty obvious if the partner did that, no?
As for any other parameters, a person in a non-monagamous relationship has to agree that honest discussions happen and that their primary relationship always comes first.
Doodle, I was in a monogamous relationship and was surprised to find it was perfectly reasonable to me. The point is honesty and openness and not expectation, heartbreak based on rule-breaking, and judgmentalism.
People should only do what they're comfortable with.
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#32'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 11:10am
Yes I was being euphemistic. I fixed it.
I just meant that if you aren't inclined to be honest with your partner about monogamy you aren't going to be any more honest about not sleeping over or no repeat visits. Yes, eliminating the monogamy requirement eliminates lying about monogamy.
#33'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 11:45am
I'm not sure telling the other person really is key.
I've been in a relationship with doodle's guy for about 12 years now, and I'm pretty sure he was never told about it.
#34'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 11:52amYou really get around, Reggie. Did that overlap with your relationship with Ossie and Ruby?
#36'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 11:55amIt was really only ever about sex with O&R.
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#37'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 11:57amYou too? Damn him, he said I was the only other one! That four-timing bastard!
#38'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 12:03pmI was probably in the room...sometimes I just need my sleep, ya know?
"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS
#40'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 12:56pm
I actually know quite a few straight couples that are in long term (10+ years) relationships, and not the "sleep around" kind but the multi-relationship one where husband has girlfriend (or boyfriend) and so does wife. They all get along better than a lot of the monogamous relationships I know ...
Personally, we have agreed to it and yet interestingly enough I haven't actually done anything about it.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch
Parks
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/5/04
#41'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 1:35pm
I was just curious about this. I've never been in an open relationship and it's something I don't know that I could be comfortable with. It's so foreign to me. I told my friend (in the open relationship) that relationships are meant for two people the other night--and reflecting on that, I realized that I shouldn't have said that. Whatever a couple wants to do--that's their prerogative. It's not something I'm looking to do, but people can do what works for them. I realized that my belief that this doesn't make sense is like somebody telling me that marriage should only be between a man and a woman. I don't think an open relationship would be for me, but apparently it works for others and they can do that if it works for them.
I gave this a LOT of thought the other night.
#42'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 1:49pmI am too jealous of a person to be in an open relationship. I was, at one time, fine with the possibility, but had a a person in the past cheat on me multiple times (behind my back) and it hurt me too much. So, I am a "only me or find someone else" type of person now. But, I don't judge people who are in open relationships. Do what you need to do!
StockardFan
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/19/08
#43'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 1:58pmYeah, whatever works. Everyone is different.
#44'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 2:24pm
An open relationship would undoubtedly turn me into a jealous, maniacal shrew.
Oh wait...I think I might already be one.
#45'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 2:46pm
Then you have nothing to lose 
#46'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 2:50pm
Hmmmmm....you've given me something to think about Spider.
Unknown User
Joined: 12/31/69
#47'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 2:59pmI was pondering the subject myself recently as part of a wide-ranging discussion after a viewing of "Company."
#48'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 3:27pm
I just passed the 8 year mark with my partner, and while we're not termed "open" we have discussed that if one or both of us slept with someone else than it would not be the end or the relationship.
We are true family to each other. We have so much love and respect for each other it is greater than the physical aspects that can often come between couples.
We're in alignment on so many things and it feels healthy and correct to feel like we should not have to control each others bodies.
FindingNamo
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/22/03
#49'In an Open Relationship'
Posted: 11/10/10 at 5:27pm
I find it refreshing that this thread is a place where people feel comfortable talking about creative arrangements (or more traditional ones) that work for them. Especially nowadays, with what can only be termed the "rush to prove our normalcy" that is the quest for marriage among same sex couples.
I know the argument is often presented that "we're just like you, we want the exact same things you want," when really, we are free to create the relationships we desire, however non-normative they may be.
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