Broadway Legend Joined: 5/27/05
The ghost of Natalie Wood told me that global warming was going to worsen this year.
The ghost of Irene Ryan told me, "It's time to start livin.'"
The ghost of Dorothy Loudon told me 50% of me is better than all of anybody else.
At all.
The ghost of Jennifer Holliday's career told me that "she's not goin'"
The ghost of Roz Russell ran around my apartment last night passing out martinis and shrieking "LIVE! LIVE! LIVE!"
doodle---she lied.
*cancels scheduled seance*
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/28/04
Jesus himself told me that Robertson is a wacko and he's got some 'splaining to do. The Big Guy ain't happy.
Well, the Pacific Coast is still reeling from that tsunami that Pat predicted last year.
Oh, and the ghost of Julia Child (believe me -- that's a scary one to see floating above your bed) told me that Pat's Protein Super Age-Defying Shakes or whatever they're called are the leading cause of a spastic colon.
God told me that everyone who claims to be warned of a big disaster linked to gays or other religions in 2007 will be the victims of irritible bowel syndrome and incontinence.
God better put in a port-a-john order post haste.
I just moved all of my 401k into Kimberly-Clark shares.
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
the ghost of Julie London told me that Pat Robertson is gonna get dry-humped by a guy in a dingy plush EL POLLO LOCO costume
I think the ghost of Divine is already camped outside Jerry Falwell's door.
norn--are you frequently visited by the Ghost of Julie London? I'm jealous.
"In May, Robertson said God told him that storms and possibly a tsunami were to crash into America's coastline in 2006."
Tsunami aside, have we ever had a year when storms did not hit America's coastline? Well gee, the ghost of Casper the Friendly told me that it will rain in Seattle this year, there will be fighting in the Middle East, the US population will increase, and a celebrity couple will get divorced after 2 years of marriage or less.
Someone call the press! You heard it here first, folks.
but, pat, does god do nucular weapons?
Matt, have you ever watched the 700 Club? My favorite part is when they start praying the "words of knowledge..."
(paraphrasing)
PAT: The Lord's telling me that someone out there's having great pain in their knees, and I want you to heal that right now.
STEPFORD WIVE COHOST: Someone out there is having really bad migraines. The Lord's going to bless you...
PAT: Now send us money.
Wow, Pat. Way to go out on the limb. Someone somewhere in the U.S. has a headache? You don't say! And someone in your audience, who I'd imagine mostly consists of lazy schlubs whose idea of exercise is actually going inside a McDonalds instead of using the drive-thru, has knee trouble? Truly he is the Elijah of our time.
The 700 Club and any televangelist is what I call GOOD entertainment.
Nothing gets me excited like a sweaty evangelist asking for more $$$$$$ because it says so in the Bible.
Especially the ones who sit one jewel-encrusted thrones and have their own jets and still beg for "love gifts" from barely literate people who probably earn $6.20 an hour and are willing to give up their house or car payment in the hope of being "blessed."
Well then, this all-powerful, full of "love" god person had better do something to destroy the bad guys...right? I mean, he wouldn't let anything bad happen to his children...right? I know we're supposed to thank him for the good things but not blame him for the bad...right?
So wait...he does good things for us sometimes, but not ALL the time?? Like, sometimes he just LETS bad things happen to us??
What a sicko.
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