Serious Discussion-Stress and Psych Disorders- Page 21

[YouWantitWhen????]

Posted: 1/29/06 at 11:43am

This reminds me of what Felicity Huffman said when she was on 60 mintues

From the thread:

"When asked of motherhood was the best experience of her life, she said . . . "No" and then continued to state she resented the question, because it put women in an untenable position."

It is the same way for self at home moms, either they are thought of as either someone who has sacrafcied all in order to raise children, or someone who could not hack it in the work world. There is resentment from women who work against those who can stay at home, and there is resentment from those who can stay at home against those who can go to work.

The only person who truly knows what is right for you, under the circumstances you find yourself in, is you.



Felicity Huffman

[DramaDork925]

Posted: 1/29/06 at 11:43am

Just to add my whole "working mothers vs. stay at home moms" perspective from a High School student, both my parents worked. My mom owned a small business and was only home 3 days of the week, but switched around her hours so she's spend as much time as possible with my brother and me. Sometimes growing up, it sucked when my mom couldn't make it to a soccer game or the chorus concert I had a solo in or things like that, but you get over it. The thing that made up for it, however, was that my mother was a good mother and raised my brother and I well despite that fact she wasn't always home. Now unlike many kids at my school I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs and I'm an honors student. A lot of the kids who do do these things have stay at home moms. So my opinion is that it doesn't matter whether or not a mother decides to stay at home or work, it depends on what type of mother they are to begin with. Just because you spend most of your time with your children doesn't mean you will raise them well.


Ok sorry to add to the further threadjack on this point...

[DG]

Posted: 1/29/06 at 12:11pm

I don't think making the choice to be a parent is at all necessary to the individual, but I do think it's necessary to the 'group' (society, species, whatever) - I mean, someone's got to do it. If no one did, we'd cease to 'be'. Personally, I feel that having those who choose not to is a valuable 'tool' to help the tendency toward overpopulation (much like I feel that homosexuality is a natural design for the same purpose.)

And just to be clear, I in NO WAY feel that those who choose to not be a parent are anything 'less than' those who do.

[smartpenguin78]

Posted: 1/29/06 at 12:41pm

That's the thing isn't it. I didn't think you felt that way, but somehow in the talk of what is "more" or "less" important to the society that is what results.

I agree with DramaDork in that it is not the quanity of parenting, it is the quality of parenting that really makes the difference.

[DG]

Posted: 1/29/06 at 12:46pm

Oh, definitely! I think quality over quantity is what counts in pretty much everything - which is certainly at odds with our culture of want want want buy buy buy

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 1/29/06 at 2:33pm

Oh, I disagree a little bit with the "quality over quantity" argument. In DramaDork's example, her mom still took time several times each week with her kids. But when parents who hire a nanny for the whole summer, not really seeing their kids until the mid-Auguest family excursion to Disney World and claim "quality over quantity" - sorry, not buying it.

[YouWantitWhen????]

Posted: 1/29/06 at 2:38pm

CM - I agree with you - there are working parents who strive to meet both their responsibilities to their jobs and their children, and then there are those that regardless of their status, abdicate any responsibility for raising their children.

The nanny issue is not reserved for two income families. There are plenty of very wealthy families, where the who choose to induldge their own desires and preferences instead of spending time with their children.

If you have children, raise them. It is difficult, but you can be a presence in their lives even if you work.

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 12:19pm

Are we staying on the parenting theme for today, as it didn't get enough discussion over the weekend?

[smartpenguin78]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 12:29pm

I am also sick of the parenting theme.

But, CM what you are describing is NOT quality or quanity that is just bad parenting. There is a big difference.
The point is that a parent simply staying home with the kids does not equal good parenting, you have to actually be involved. Many parents who work, are able to give their children quality care when they are home.
The "trip to Disneyland" type of parenting is useless and ridiculous. To be honest it is almost insulting to equate "quality parenting" with that.

Updated On: 1/30/06 at 12:29 PM

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 12:30pm

SP, any topic on your mind you want to throw out?

[smartpenguin78]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 12:34pm

I was considering music throughout history. The importance of storytelling/ folk song to groups in society (including today's society) and the importance- influence of "high art" music.

(I was looking at my cd collection the last time I thought about the subject. )

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:02pm

Entertainment at it's most basic... Conveying a story, through lyrics and a melody. And someone skilled to carry both. Most certainly a means of conveying a message, particularly in the past, when literacy was MUCH lower.

[beacon1]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:11pm

Oral histories were transmitted in song. And great literary works were set to music orginally.

Today, teams of Family History Missionaries from the LDS Church are helping tribes in Africa transcribe their information. Some of it told in song.

I love songs that tell a story.

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:23pm

Chants and evensong and hymns were pivotal to Church ceremony, as it's essentially the oral history of the Church set to harmony and words. Like stained glass windows in many cathedrals which provided the cvisual counterpoint to chants, hymns, passion plats, and prayer songs, it was the connection to an illiterate population.

[smartpenguin78]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:30pm

I think it goes even deeper than being a connection to an illiterate population. We feel music, it creates a sense of reality that mere words cannot. Although it would be quite wrong to discredit the use when such a huge portion of the population was illiterate.

Additionally, the stories are simply easier to remember and pass on when they are done with rhythm and rhyme. The oral tradition of song seems to be a phenomenon that crosses cultures and is a basic archetype.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:31pm

There is an amazing Appalachia oral history/Blue Grass/Dulcimer museum at my alma mater, Appalachian State University

[beacon1]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:34pm

For Slaves in the southern states of the U.S. the "spirituals" also served as a way to convey information. They shared news of people on other plantations and also instructions for using the Underground Railroad.

Music is a wonderful mnemonic device. Think of how we learn the English Alphabet. This helps preserve information in an easily transferrable "shareable" format.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:40pm

appalachian state

oh, somms, had i known those weren't your real teeth i might have reacted differently.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:42pm

meet me in the hollar. Yur backside is fixin' to get ah whoopin'

[smartpenguin78]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:43pm

I went to App State for a semester SOMMS.

The mountain storytellers are quite interesting. I met several in my days down there, and they were quite adept at the techniques.

[beacon1]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:44pm

SOMMS...a lot of Applachian speech patterns extend all the way up into my hometown area in western New York State. Up through Pennsylvania, etc. (Pennsyl-tucky.)

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:46pm

You were a Mountaineer Peng? Small little world.
Updated On: 1/30/06 at 01:46 PM

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:46pm

Though think of the HUGE aptitude for memorizing some of these epics. The Song of Roland was actually told as a song, though the music aspect of that has been lost to us. Tristan and Isolde. etc...

[touchmeinthemorning]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:49pm

Let's not forget the amazing feats we're only just now discovering with music therapy.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/30/06 at 1:52pm

My sister manages an Alzheimer's unit and music therapy is an integral part of all they do.