The BroadwayWorld Theme Park- Page 6

[jasonf]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 1:30am

This IS the greatest thread of all time!!!

The entrance to the park should be a giant Audrey 2 (like Big Bird in Sesame Place).

There should be a funhouse with mirrors that show you with every style of Hair mentioned in the song....

The Getting Married Today chapel with armed guards to prevent runaway brides.

The shopping area MUST have a store called "Baubles, Bangles and Beads."

A ride that goes us and down a simulation of the Grand Canal in Venice nine times.

Guests, of course, would stay at the Grand Hotel, but nothing ever happens there, and you have to take a train to the park, but can only get on if you have roses at the station - red roses - for passion. Of course, your wallet gets stolen every time and you get shot, but hey, if love can't happen anyway....

If you happen to make it on the train, you'll be accosted by a very unattractive woman singing incessantly about loving you, but you'll suddenly realize halfway there that you're really just riding on the back of a guy on roller skates.

[way_to_spend_the_day]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 1:33am

How about Princess Amneris' Strongest Suit Beauty Pageant??

[Justice]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 1:37am

Starlight Express...

nuff said

[Dollypop]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 10:06am

There will be a huge clock tower in the park--not unlike the famous "glokenspiels" in Germany. Every hour on the hour a figure of Eve Peron appears on a balcony with her arms outstretched and the glokenspiel plays "Don't Cry For Me Argentina". Somehow the crowd below can't resist chanting "Peron, Peron!" each time that happens.

There is also a Glass Menagerie Labyrinth, where guests wander through a maze and huge animal figures made of Swarovski Crystal pop up unexpectedly when the guests unknowingly step on a oncealed switch in the pavement. Great fun!

Updated On: 8/26/05 at 10:06 AM

[beenthere]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 10:54am

Don't forget to check out the entire park at "a view from a bridge" and get chased through the "secret Garden" maze in "the crucible's, Are You A Witch? hunt"

[jasonf]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 11:11am

Are you a witch hunt? Which Witch?

We're getting dangerously close to a Wicked ride here....

I know there was mention of a It's a Small World type ride -- I'm torn though if it should be from Gypsy (riders have to pay 88 bucks to get in) or if it should be a Candide ride around the world ending in a garden that grows right before your eyes.

[Dollypop]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 12:03pm

Perhaps the CANDIDE attraction could cut off the left buttock of an occasional guest--just for fun's sake!

[jasonf]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 1:53pm

Good one Dollypop -- I just want to restate that this is my favorite thread we've ever had. It's so much fun.

Much like the darkhouse ride that would be based on The Last Five Years -- The side for Jaime: You start out with a sign overhead saying: "Now entering Jaime-land" Then alarms ring and sirens go flying past, you takes a trip through Klimovitch and back in time forty years, through a party scene where you have to gesticulate with your left hand to get out and ultimately to Ohio where you get blown to bits by Cathy's battalions. (You, of course, get your option of Shabbos dinner at the Shapiros or Doritos on the way out all the while being praised by Sonny Mehta). Cathy's ride: a nice smooth ride to her hometown that turns very bumpy when it makes a detour to Ohio (there would also be a magic mirror a la the haunted house where you would be joined by either a stripper, Karl the midget, or a snake named Wayne. The two rides cross paths in a serene replica of the Hudson River (or East River - I forget which it is) and a tour through dino-country.

Of course Borders is the perfect sponsor for this attraction.

[Dollypop]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 4:40pm

For those who really want to freshen up, we'll have TAKE ME OUT showers available.

[insomniak]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 5:39pm

A wall-climbing station called Rocky Horror.

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables, the aforementioned restaurant, should also have a Drink With Me section.

All amusement parks need entertainments, like a Cabaret or Sideshow ...

[Dollypop]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 8:25pm

The "Tea For Two" Diner will offer exactly that. In addition, they will have a sugar cake for you to take for all the boys to see. That is, if you really want to impress "the boys".

[The Grovers Corners Yenta]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 10:19pm

After spending a long day at the Broadwayworld Thmeme Park you will be very tired. Why not check into the Grand Hotel? If you are short of cash there is always the economical Hot L Baltimore . The beds are the the most comfortsble there as they are supplied by the Once Upon A Mattress Company.

[Dollypop]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 11:03pm

The OKLAHOMA! attraction will feature regular fights between the Farmers and the Cowmen. They will duke it out daily and the winner gets a book of vouchers at Audra MacDonald's.

[jam_man]

Posted: 8/26/05 at 11:26pm

And of course there is the tribute to America with the animatronic John Adams being "abnoxious and disliked."

[iRuvPrinceton]

Posted: 8/27/05 at 12:01am

OMG, you guys are awesome! This gave me a good laugh! I wish I had some ideas! Keep this thread going!!

[alterego]

Posted: 8/27/05 at 12:49am

Is it rue that the MISS SAIGON helicopter ride always oversells, there is no queing and only the fit who can fight can get a seat?

[jam_man]

Posted: 8/27/05 at 1:04am

Very true, alterego. You can't even get in with a gun! :)

[Unknown User]

Posted: 8/27/05 at 1:25am

And don't forget to venture deep down into the Bat-cave to find the rumoured "Bat Child" living down there, OH LOOK! the cave connects to a tunnel that resembles a man hole in the middle of a city, and look a gang of gay actors, dressed as gangsters, shoot craps! what fun!

[Dollypop]

Posted: 8/27/05 at 9:06am

The "Stunt Casting Hall of Fame" is a gallery of portraits depicting so-called "stars" in their most famous roles on Broadway. See the elegant portrait of David Hasselhoff in JEKYLL AND HYDE? Over there is Rosie O'Donnell is SEUSSICAL THE MUSICAL. In that corner you'll see Melanie Griffith in CHICAGO (that little figure in the corner is Melody Smith vomiting), and this revolving door sculpture depicts the minds of Fran and Barry Weissler. Enjoy!

[Unknown User]

Posted: 8/27/05 at 11:19am

Dolly -- I think that shot of Rosie was when she was in Grease.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 8/27/05 at 11:34am

Does the return of Nathan and Matthew to the Producers count as stunt casting?

[Unknown User]

Posted: 8/27/05 at 1:36pm

When You get tired of walking in the endless amusement park you can have a rest in Little Old Lady Land on one of Bialy's Benches

[FosseBoi]

Posted: 8/27/05 at 2:20pm

Ok, I guess I'll have to do it. We HAVE to have the DEFYING GRAVITY contraction!lol!

Then at night we'll have the Cat Scratch Club. Come see all the Mimis and our star Daphne Rubin-Vega.

[BroadwayBaby315]

Posted: 8/27/05 at 3:04pm

assassinate your least favorite Broadway stars in the assassins shooting range

[Dollypop]

Posted: 8/27/05 at 6:23pm

There will be a "Whatever Happened To....?" Hall. Here the audiences will sit and see snippets of performances by performers who had their careers "snipped" for one reason or another. Just think of Jamie Donnelly, Barbara Harris, Daniel Davis, Trish Van Devere, Amanda Plummer, Marlon Mason, Mary Jo Catlett, Loretta Swit. Oh, the list goes on!!!!!