The Thread For Those Who Feel The Need To Share All of Their Banal Details- Page 132

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 10:57am

Heh, I know what you mean. The theatre students here- while some are perfectly nice on their own- become the cliquiest snobs when two or more of them combine.

My room is hot and stuffy, but they're mowing the grass outside, so I can't have my window open.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 10:59am

Well, it's been that way since high school, I guess I just expected it to change after that. Sometimes, I'm just a sorry social reject.

Do you have a fan you can use til they're done mowing?

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 11:05am

Yeah, it's on, but it doesn't really help the overall stuffiness. :-/

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 11:10am

My room is chilly. I think we left the windows open, but I don't feel like going to check. heh.

*flops back into bed, is comfortable*

[insomniak]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 12:31pm

Banal:

It's one of those days that make you want to scream and cry and rip your hair out. And I might give in to the urges soon; I'm just so annoyed with the way everything is turning out, I have the cramps from Satan, tons of work and a huge to-do list, along with a few very fragile situations that I don't know how to handle. I feel so helpless. This is my life, shouldn't I be in charge of it? I think so, but the powers that be think not.

And most of all, I hate people who complain about how bad their lives are when they've got the best of absolutely everything, or at least have it all better than I do.

[Chloe]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 1:05pm

Nia, I'm really sorry you're feeling so bad, and I hope you find a way to resolve those difficult situations.

There's no use trying to compare your problems with other people's though. This isn't exactly the same, but hopefully illustrates what I'm trying to say. I have two friends. One has done really well with her career, but had a couple of divorces and problems with her kids. The other has struggled with her career, but has an intact, successful family. They each tend to take for granted the good things in their lives, and each one thinks the other really has it made and doesn't appreciate it. Neither of them can understand why the other one should be unhappy. It's very difficult to know what others are actually going through.

[insomniak]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 1:16pm

I know you're right, Chloe... but even so, sometimes I have to wonder what would happen if they had my problems and I had theirs.

Most of the situations I'm in don't have a real resolution- they just require a lot of time and caution. A kid in my school hung himself last weekend, and a girl I used to be good friends with was very close to him. So I've been trying to say the right things and not make her feel worse, but at the same time I can't help remember the times she ignored me when I needed a friend. It's dredged up a lot of strong, hard feelings that I thought were buried.

I know what she's going through is far worse than what I have to deal with, so I'm trying to keep that in mind and not get mad at her for being a one-way street. But I don't know if I can really let it go for forever. It's confusing to me, I don't know if we're friends or not or something in between. We've talked an awful lot lately about the tough stuff in both of our lives, but I don't know if it will last once she begins to heal. I don't know if I can handle emotionally investing in something that looks good, but might go away again.

//detailed banality.

Updated On: 5/2/06 at 01:16 PM

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 1:22pm

I'm so sorry to hear that, nia, and I hope you find whatever you think is right to do or say for her, even though it's tricky and difficult to know what to say in those situations. You're a good person for being able to try to look past her mistakes and wanting to give her comfort right now. I hope you can figure it out, and that she's appreciative of the support you're trying to give her.

[Chloe]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 1:23pm

I see your dilemma and believe you're doing the right thing by trying to help her feel better. As long as you don't let someone else take advantage of you, treating her better than she's treated you can only make you feel good about yourself. Going the opposite way will have the opposite effect. Maybe she'll learn from this situation to treat you better too. If not, she's not worth your friendship, but you won't have lost by reaching out to someone in a moment of extreme need.

[insomniak]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 1:32pm

Thanks.

All I can really do for her is be cogniscent of her feelings and talk or listen accordingly, and I guess all I can do for myself is not expect too much. I do believe in karma, so maybe even if she doesn't become a friend again, someone down the line will.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 1:33pm

insomniak, you complain about your problems too, so it's rather hypocritical to "hate" them for that. And as bad as you think your life is, there's an AIDS orphan eating garbage over in Botswana that could put your middle class teenage whining to shame.

Updated On: 5/2/06 at 01:33 PM

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 1:39pm

In a lot of cases, being there to listen and for the person to know that you *are* there to listen is more important than saying the correct thing, though, I guess.

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 1:43pm

Chloe, that's a really good example.

I mean, there's not one determinant of happiness. Someone can seemingly have it all--lots of friends, close family, great career/achiever, looks, everything--and one small little tilt in their chemicals and they're more depressed than anyone. I've learned happiness does not come from situations, but from within, from the way you view your situations.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 1:48pm

Or even a thing that happens, you know? Outside of chemical imbalance.

Really, really banal: After like 40-something emails and a bunch of phone calls, I finally found people to be in my project. *sigh of relief*

Updated On: 5/2/06 at 01:48 PM

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 2:36pm

uhh!

I just spent 30$ frekin dollars on a HALF tank of gas!! Ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous!

[caitiesus1522]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 2:36pm

So the fact that I am even on a computer is a miracle. My dad blocked my wireless acceses and has now password protected the Internet on all of the computers in our house. And he is taking my cell phone. (I am at Arabica thanks to my best friend)

He thinks that if I dont have these things, I cannot go to Hofstra. He then screamed at me for five mintes telling me I am ruining my life. It is my f*cking decision. Not his, not my mom's. I feel like I NEED to do this.

I wrote them each a letter saying why I want to go to Hofstra and it was really heartfelt and intense since there is no way they will actually listen to me. I hate this. I really do. I sent thigns to both AU and OSU withdrawing and saying no.

Everything is falling about and they are taking away how I connect ot my friends. Why would this treatment of me make me want to stay? I just...don't know. So I will probably be gone for a while I dont want to, and will be miserable but that is how it will be. They are trying to pretty much torture me and they will succeed.

life sucks

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 2:38pm

Caitie, is the fact that your parents don't want you to go there strictly because of finances, or is there another reason they don't want you to go?

[caitiesus1522]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 2:45pm

Nope it is barely financial at all. It is because they dont think it is good enough and they dont believe why I want to go there

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 2:55pm

They think you're lying about your reason for wanting to go, or they don't think it's a good reason?

[insomniak]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 2:58pm

Orangeskittles, this would be one of those times during which a tactful person would realize that she has absolutely no idea what problems are being alluded to most of the time or to what extent they may go. I assure you, there ARE things that I do not post relating to my teen angst that might change your mind a bit. As far as "the rest of the world", I'm well aware of the fact that I could have it worse. I also know that things could be a bit better right now (and the specifics of my friend are only the tip of the iceberg) and somehow, thinking about AIDS orphans does not make my problems disappear. I'm glad I have a roof over my head. But that won't change my situation.

And skittles, unless you are so saintly that you do not ever complain to a single person because you are SO busy helping those with "real problems", don't pull that old stunt about the kids in Africa. If you do insist on pointing fingers, you had better do it to every single person who posts on this thread, because God knows I'm not the only one with banal details. I'd bet my life that there are times you have whined about trivialities with no regards for the kids in Botswana, and that is ALSO hypocritical.

Now, I think it's time for you, my fellow middle class, teenaged white girl to step off of her royal ****box and go sit in time out like the five year old she acts like.

I don't think this has any more of a place on this thread. Any other childish insults can be directed into my PM box.

Caitiesus, I'm sorry that you're in such a tangle.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 3:12pm

..........

Caitie, I see you're already offline, but... I know this isn't what you want, but maybe you should try to look at *why* your parents are making these demands, if it's not something like that they can't afford it, and things. You may not agree, but maybe in some sense, they're looking out for you; and honestly, you defying them puts you at risk for years and hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. Maybe for a moment, stop thinking about what you want and "need" and try to see why -- when you have arguments like this, it feels for both people like you're screaming at a wall that can't hear you and won't answer, and sometimes you need to back up and try to see the other side.

Extremely banal: I discovered a very strange line of scratches on my stomach. I don't know how they got there.

[insomniak]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 3:16pm

Emcee, I'm not sure how you manage to injure yourself so often. Maybe you ought to give the bubble thing a try?

Caitie, whatever happens, I hope you can find some good in it.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 3:17pm

I think it probably happened in my sleep... I... I don't really know. I might have bumped into something? When I was in elementary school, I constantly needed bandaids. One of my teachers mocked me and told me I was accident prone.

Banal detail: I just realized that I am very, very bad at saying no. Even worse than I normally think. whoops.

Updated On: 5/2/06 at 03:17 PM

[insomniak]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 3:21pm

Elementary school is the source of many an unusual injury. Once I was standing behind the dumpster because I was afraid of being hit by the football kids were throwing around. I figured there was no way it could hit me there. How very wrong I was.

Sorry that your teacher was so icky.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 5/2/06 at 3:24pm

It's okay, it was 6th grade. She was a terrible asthmatic, much worse than I, so when I would ask to go to the nurse's office to get medication, she would listen to me breathe and tell me that I was fine, so I should sit down and shut up. But, she got hers, I guess. I was a fairly defiant child.

I think that the football might very well be one of the world's most frightening every day objects. I almost had one land on my head a few days ago.

... I'm awfully banal today? *cracks wrist*