Throwing in the Towel...?

[WindyCityActor]

Posted: 11/29/06 at 10:10pm

I deleted my first message....but I had a really crappy audition, and I'm considering quitting. Updated On: 11/29/06 at 10:10 PM

[lazyafternoon]

Posted: 11/29/06 at 10:17pm

Sleep on it. It won't seem so terrible tomorrow. Everyone hates auditions, except Cloris Leachman.

BTW is that you in Terra Nova?

[WindyCityActor]

Posted: 11/29/06 at 10:19pm

If you mean the pic in my fan pics folder. Yes, that's me.

Posted: 11/29/06 at 10:30pm

i do too!

[lazyafternoon]

Posted: 11/29/06 at 10:31pm

Quitting acting school is one of the few things I regret.

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 11/29/06 at 10:42pm

WCA...

I've not experienced the uncertainty of when the next role will come along first hand, but as someone who has been on the outside looking in from an up close and personal perspective for a pretty long time, I hope you will hang in there are ride out the frustrations. I've always perceived you to be one of a handful of serious and credible working actors who post on this board. If what you are at your core is truly an actor, hang onto that unless the life becomes intolerable.

Okay, so maybe I romanticize the life of being an Actor (with an intentionally capitalized "A"), but I do it with sincerity.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 11/29/06 at 10:49pm

WCA, in this house we deal with it regularly. My wife is a mother first and a professional auditioner second. She gets rejection on both fronts!

Keep it all in perspective, or go to law school and regret that you abandoned your dreams!

[PalJoey]

Posted: 11/29/06 at 10:57pm

Windy--I was standing where you are 20 years ago. It hurts. Bad. As bad as losing a loved one or giving up an addiction.

Whether you stay or go, the ultimate question is: What do you want to do from the time you wake up in the morning until the time you go to sleep at night? This? Or something else.

If what you're doing now is making you happier than it's making you unhappy, then find a way to go on doing it that hurts less. If it's not making you happy, let yourself be led to what's next.

We all think you're hot SH*T.

Updated On: 11/29/06 at 10:57 PM

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 11/29/06 at 11:10pm

If you're a better actor than singer, then focus on acting the song - make it into a scene. Some of our favorite musical theater performers aren't the best singers. It's about personality and making us believe.

If you're basically happy and paying the bills and enjoying your life, why give it up? Just shift your focus to your strength.

[WindyCityActor]

Posted: 11/30/06 at 8:41am

Thanks for all of your comments.

I suppose to give your some perspective, I'm in my late 40's, and I've been in the theatre since I was a teenager. I started taking singing lessons over three years ago - and although I know that my voice has improved significantly - I have had very little success breaking into musical theatre. I always find myself competing with actors with much more musical experience, and who naturally have a better chance of getting cast. I'm an actor that can sing rather than a singer that can act.

Last night's callback was not especially successful in my opinion. Sure, it's all subjective, and I'll know what my chances are either today or tomorrow, but I don't allow myself to fantasize.

I've had some creative challenges and disappointments this season, and I'm currently involved with a theatre group (not the one having the musical auditions) in which inertia has set. Only a small section of the group seems especially motivated to keep the theatre growing...since 20 percent of the group is doing about 95 percent of the work, many of us - especially myself - are becoming burned out and frustrated.

I'm reaching to point of saying "I gave it my best shot, but it's time to call it quits."

Maybe I'll feel better in a week or two, but I have a voice lesson on Sunday, and I simply don't know why...What am I working towards? Beyond my voice teacher, and my partner, I don't have much of a support group for my singing. It's very hard keeping motivated.

Although I my worst critic, I'm a very good actor, but maybe it's just time to accept my limitations.

Thanks for letting me purge...I needed to get this out on my system.

Updated On: 11/30/06 at 08:41 AM

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 11/30/06 at 8:45am

NEVER, NEVER give up on your dreams. Pick yourself, dust yourself off and go on. Keep reminding yourself...what is meant to be, will be. I have faith in you my friend.

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 11/30/06 at 8:50am

Well, after my 5th close call, I kind of put my hat on the hook for awhile and shifted my focus as well. I love theatre, singing, and acting but I really didn't want it to be my "career" anymore. While I don't really regret the four years I spent acting in New York, I can still recall all the fears each time I went from temp job to show to waiting tables to show to temp job to tour to...you get the point. Each time I had to figure out where my next paycheck coming from was a little shot of fear.
I'll still perform. I'm working on that (and still occasionally do on the side) and I'll find a way to have a personal career in the theatre. So there's that choice to make, as well, if you like.

[Love4Cheno]

Posted: 11/30/06 at 9:12am

"I can still recall all the fears each time I went from temp job to show to waiting tables to show to temp job to tour to...you get the point."

bwaysinger- you nailed it.

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 11/30/06 at 9:32am

Yeah, Cheno, I know.
But I'd also like to point out I have many friends who THRIVE on that. They really go for the challenge of getting that next job. I respect that and them for having the guts to keep at it because we all know that big Broadway job is the ONE time you succeed out of 50 failures (or more!).

[WindyCityActor]

Posted: 11/30/06 at 11:30am

I have next week off from work, and my partner is out of town during much of that time so I'll take that time to try to make an honest evaluation of my situation, and try to establish some credible short term and long term goals. Updated On: 11/30/06 at 11:30 AM

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 11/30/06 at 11:43am

Having seen you perform I would say it would be a shame for you to give it all up. I understand the burn out syndrome, though. There are so many theatres in town that would be lucky to have you. So perhaps you are not cut out for the Musicals. There are limits on what some people can do. It doesn't mean you are not talented and should give it all up. There are some great musical theatre actors who could NEVER do some of the role you could do. I would guess they are more frustrated than you are. I hate that in Chicago you seem to have to belong to one group or another. Have you considered just resigning from your company and auditioning for a couple of shows a year. That way you can be pretty selective, knowing that you are doing it because you WANT to do it. It would also give you some more free time to pursue other interests. But again, I hope you don't give up altogether.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 11/30/06 at 12:03pm

If you've never read Julia Cameron's THE ARTIST'S WAY, it might make an inspiring companion for you next week while you're examining your hopes and dreams and current experience.
Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity

[WindyCityActor]

Posted: 11/30/06 at 12:36pm

I've tried her journal, but at the time I wasn't found that I my schedule wouldn't allow me to devote the time every day for the writing exercises. I'll have to re-visit it.

Sue, thank you for the encouragement.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 11/30/06 at 12:39pm

Ah hell Windy, if you want to stay in the "arts" just dance naked on a bar at one of the boy clubs. I've got a wad of twenties with your name written all over them.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 11/30/06 at 1:14pm

Windy - You know I totally feel where you're coming from (we've had this discussion many times). Stuart Ostrow told me, "If it stops being fun, don't do it any more". And that is exactly what I did and I can't say I regret it. But the miracle of acting is, it is something you can always return to. You can take a break for as long as you want and you can always go back and pick it up again when you are ready. I attended only a couple of auditions in the last four years and they were all miserable experiences for me. Not that my audition was bad, but the people I auditioned for made me feel worthless (with the exception of my Assassins audition this year) and I see no reason to subject myself to that (funnily enough, I was treated MUCH better at almost every audition in Houston). I know I will return to the stage, but I will be much more discriminating in the companies for which I choose to audition. And if I don't get a part, then I don't. But at least I won't be working for people I despise who do nothing but dehumanize me. That's not worth a measly stipend, an ignored review, and a line on my resume which is rarely noticed by directors who don't know me personally.

Take a deep breath. Drink a big cocktail. And go on a theatre hiatus until you are ready to face the bastards again. I was involved in theatre for 10 years 24/7 including starting a theatre company. Now I attend a show now and then and I'm ok. I haven't given up on theatre. I only stopped doing something that caused me emotional stress and resentment. There is no shame or sorrow in that.

Updated On: 11/30/06 at 01:14 PM

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 11/30/06 at 1:32pm

Seems there are alot of part time and ex actors here that understand where you're coming from WCA...me being one of them.

Noone loves their job all the time, noone is deleriously happy in their relationships all the time. Give yourself a break, dont be too hard on yourself, and remember that this is not an irrevocable decision. If you want to act again, you will. If you love it, the love will return.

All the best.

[Calvin]

Posted: 11/30/06 at 1:35pm

I agree with MisterMatt. I was never pursuing acting as a career, but I had the same experience in newspapers: I had grown to hate the business while loving the work. Just because I got out of that grind didn't mean I had abandoned writing.

[WindyCityActor]

Posted: 12/1/06 at 10:17am

I'm in a much better mood this morning...although Chicago is being hit with a huge winter storm...thunder, lightning, and snow at the same time?!

I'm gonna spend next week doing some intensive reflection, and self evaluation.

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 12/1/06 at 10:21am

<-----------------Santa wanted to stop by and give you a hug.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 12/1/06 at 4:56pm

Windy - I know what you mean. I had to evaluate myself last night. Though I didn't use a mirror.