Your Favorite WILL & GRACE Quotes- Page 5

[Marquise]

Posted: 6/1/06 at 11:23pm

Karen [to Jack]: Your gayness can be seen from space!

[showtunesguy89]

Posted: 6/1/06 at 11:24pm

Grace: "KISS THE COOK."

Jack: What? COOK?!? That can't be right."

[RENTingFAME]

Posted: 6/1/06 at 11:42pm

Grace: When I was in college I dated -
Jack: A homo
Grace: No! A guy in a rock band. And I went to see him and I found out he was
Jack: A homo.
Grace: No!
[later]
Jack: and where is that guy in the rock band now?
Grace: He's a chorus boy on the queen mary II.

[RENTingFAME]

Posted: 6/1/06 at 11:52pm

Grace: I don't think I approve of this, Will, unless he's hot.
Will: Hot? He doesn't even have to put the cookies in the oven, he just walks by and winks!

[RENTingFAME]

Posted: 6/1/06 at 11:54pm

Pastry chef: I like to think of myself as pansexual.
Karen: Oh my god he's been humping my pants
Will: Pansexual? Isn't that just a rest stop on the highway to homo?

[RENTingFAME]

Posted: 6/2/06 at 12:02am

Grace: There is a line between enthusiasm and being obnoxious. I call that line Richard Simmons.

[RENTingFAME]

Posted: 6/2/06 at 2:08pm

Jack: Fresh from 45 minutes of buttrobics I give you... *twirls around* my ass!!!

[Holly Therese]

Posted: 6/2/06 at 2:39pm

Jack: It's one of Bernadette Peters Curls! She was standing in front of me at Duane Reade. Luckily, I was buying a pair of toenail clippers. Now I have hair from Bernadette Peters, Betty Buckley, and Idina Menzel. All I need is Patti LuPone and my Broadway diva wig will be complete!

[boxers7]

Posted: 6/2/06 at 3:36pm

Sorry showtunesguy98 but I have to correct you:
(Jack walks in wearing an apron that says Kiss the Cook)
JACK: Grace, do you like my new apron?
GRACE: Kiss the Cook!
JACK: WHAT?! That's a C?

[Broadway_Baby]

Posted: 6/2/06 at 3:42pm

And I must correct you, boxers.

The complete quote is:

JACK: You like?

GRACE: "Kiss the cook."

JACK: What? Cook?! That's an "O"? That doesn't make any sense! Who goes on a date hoping somebody will kiss their cook?

[theatahguy]

Posted: 6/2/06 at 3:54pm

In the episode where Grace is supposed to be artificially inseminated and they've lost Will's...uh...stuff.

Grace: Karen, have you eaten your lunch yet?
Karen: Honey, I haven't even finished drinking my breakfast!
======================================================

In some episode involving Beverly Leslie

Jack: Shrimp
Beverly: Queer
=========================================================

The Finale...

The entire exchange between Karen & Jack in the elevator, but specifically Karen's speech about "pointing your heels to Jesus"...can anyone recall it? Gah, I peed on myself at how funny it was & now I cant remember it!

[lovepuppy]

Posted: 6/2/06 at 6:40pm

I can't believe no one said it either! That's my fave too! "Shut UP Patti LuPone!"

:)

[Holly Therese]

Posted: 6/2/06 at 10:55pm

Jack: Shut up, Patti LuPone! Shut your brassy, magnificent trap! I don't wanna hear you sing. I don't wanna cut your hair. And I certainly don't wanna hear you singing while I'm cutting your hair! Got it?! Now I'm talking to my best friend, so stand back, Buenos Aires!

[beacon1]

Posted: 6/2/06 at 11:21pm

Grace: 'And I was at Bloomingdale's this morning waiting in line to buy wrinkle cream, and this Jennifer-Love-Michelle-Sarah-Felicity looking thing bumps into me and says, 'Excuse me, ma'am'.'

I loved this one...Grace comes apart completely as she struggles to get out the word "Ma'am".

[beacon1]

Posted: 6/2/06 at 11:28pm

[Grace trying to start up her Uncle Jerry's old car]
Grace: 'OK, here we go.. that's weird. Will, what do you think is wrong?'
Karen: 'Oh my God. She just asked a fairy an engine question. We're all gonna die in this car'
Will: 'Karen, you're not going to die. It would take a silver bullet and a wooden stake to do that.'

[picturetaker9211]

Posted: 6/2/06 at 11:29pm

I posted one yesterday on the Adam Pascal Love Thread, that had something that vaguely to do w/ Rent, but I'm sure sure I got it messed up.

Will: They loved my performance in Rent! (Have no idea what they were talking about beforehand.)
Grace: I knew you would do really well in a play about homelessness, AIDS, & heroin addictions.

If anybody can correct me, please do! Will & Grace has the funniest quotes of all time.

[RENTingFAME]

Posted: 6/3/06 at 12:02am

I saw that one last night, yeah. It was something like that. Anyway we get the point. It was quite funny last night. hah.

Jack: (to Will) FYI you S.O.B. cater-waitering is t-u-f. F.

[RENTingFAME]

Posted: 6/3/06 at 12:20am

Jack: I can't perform the ballet with an odd number of men
Will: Then do it with a number of odd men!

[tagiunagi]

Posted: 6/3/06 at 2:58am

to answer theatahguy...

Karen: Do what any self-respecting woman would do. Get on your back, point your heals to Jesus and think of handbags!

[Holly Therese]

Posted: 6/3/06 at 9:22am

On the Rent one, Will doesn't say the line, thats Bobbie Adler (Grace's Mom)

[Holly Therese]

Posted: 6/3/06 at 9:57am

I don't know the exact quote but:

Sung to the tune of "Mandy"

Grace (bawling hysterically): Oh mommy, you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away, Oh MOOOOTHER!

[thejcm]

Posted: 6/3/06 at 2:09pm

Actually, the RENT quote is said by Will, pretending to be Bobbie Adler. It's the first episode she's in and Will is acting like her in order to get Grace ready to stand up to her. It's something like:

Will: Oh, did I tell you the Schenectady Times LOVED my performance in RENT!
Grace: That's right mom, because you were born to play an adolescent struggling with homelessness and heroin addiction.

My favorite is from the Thanksgiving Episode in Season 3. (Highs and Lows in the Mid 80's)

Karen (pulling her shirt down a bit and doing a bit of a shimmy to someone off camera): Oh yeah you like that!
Grace: Karen! What are you doing?
Karen (still showing off her assests): She started it, honey!
Grace: ...She's breast feeding.
Karen (stops, looks puzzled): Well that explains the little bald man.

Karen (to Grace): Now you go have that game night, and invite 'Mo and Mary and Blob and Smellen. (Making fun of Joe, Larry, Rob, and Ellen)

Grace: You gotta call me when you go off cheese. (It's not as funny to read but the delivery is so perfect)

Grace (to the Docter after being told a very ditzy looking nurse will be taking her blood): Are you sure she can do it? I mean, didn't she drive in here on a big wheel?
Nurse Trainee Pittman: Oh no, I don't drive. I keep taking the test over and over again and I'm all "This is hard!"

Karen: Tears, booze...I love the holidays.

Karen: You mean today isn't Thanksgiving? Now I have to spend all day tomorrow watching Stan gorge himself on thighs, and breasts...and turkey.

(Jack, Karen, Will, and Grace are playing Scrabble)
Grace: Jack, that's not a word.
Jack: Yes it is!
Grace: Us e it in a sentence.
Jack: Every morning, I spramp water on to my face. Watch how the water from the ocean spramps against the rocks.
Grace: Just because you do a hand gesture doesn't make it a word.
Jack: Gosh, what a carpooch.
Karen: Tell me about it.

Jack: Will you just can't start sleeping with women, who are you, Anne Heche?

Will: You think everyone is gay.
Jack: Not everyone, just me, and you, and a dog named blue.
Will: Me? I am not gay!
Jack: Well this well-worn copy of the Dreamgirls soundtrack begs to differ.

Jack: Does she really hose you down every morning to get you out of bed?
Karen: I don't know honey, there's a lot of cold water coming at me really fast...

Okay that's enough. I've spent far too many hours of my life watching that show.

[Holly Therese]

Posted: 6/3/06 at 3:50pm

Oh you are completely right...I knew it had to do with Bobbie


Rosario: Listen lady....

And of course, ANY fight/rant between Karen and Rosario.

[tagiunagi]

Posted: 6/3/06 at 8:36pm

Rosario: Listen lady, in my country, I used to be a schoolteacher.

Karen: Well in this country you wash my bras.

[tagiunagi]

Posted: 6/3/06 at 9:04pm

KAREN: His name is Barry Manilow. He's cuter than Deepak, and you don't have to buy a lot of crap to believe in him. This is Cheryl. She's a Fanilow.

CHERYL: The man makes me happy.

KAREN: This is Jackie. He's a Fagalow.

JACK: The mens make me happy, too.