Are we (fans) talked about by Broadway performers?- Page 4

[Dollypop]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:30pm

I'm 59 years old and stood outside the Marquis stagedoor to get background material for the article I wrote about Danny Burstein for BWW. There were plenty of people who could easily be my contemporaries. I didn't feel out-of-place standing there.
Behind The Stage Door With Danny Burstein

[JACXR71]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:33pm

I'm going to be really annoying and re-post what I just wrote, since my post appears to have been lost in the black hole that emerges when threads reach their page limit...

I like the path this thread has taken. After quickly establishing that yes indeed, fans are talked about by Broadway performers, the discussion has since shifted towards the extremely unique situation in which Broadway performers find themselves nowadays.

To all of you who have responded to this thread (and others like it) with remarks like “do Broadway performers also go to the bathroom?,” or “do you follow your garbage man after he collects your trash?,” surely now you can understand why questions like these (not your exaggerated remarks, the original questions in the thread) are being asked regarding Broadway performers. What they do affects their personal lives in a way completely different from the overwhelming majority of other “customer service” professions. For that reason, it makes it extremely interesting to analyze seemingly “normal” concepts as they apply to Broadway performers. Based on this thread and other similar ones, it’s clear I’m not alone in feeling this way. Maybe the original posters (not directed at you, SweetQ) didn’t intend for the discussions to get so philosophical – maybe they really do have a hard time grasping the fact that Broadway performers ride the subway, or eat at restaurants – but the very fact that they have this hard time validates the depth of the discussion surrounding the normality of these performers’ lives.

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:40pm

JACXR- your other post seems to be there but at first, it did seem to disapear...

"Maybe the original posters (not directed at you, SweetQ) didn’t intend for the discussions to get so philosophical – maybe they really do have a hard time grasping the fact that Broadway performers ride the subway, or eat at restaurants – but the very fact that they have this hard time validates the depth of the discussion surrounding the normality of these performers’ lives.

I realize it wasn't directed at me but I do find a lot of people are like "OMG, I saw ____ on the subway!"
Usually, my responce- or thought is:
"umm...yea, they have to get from one place to another, just like you."

Actors are not supernatural creatures. They are humans. They were concieved and brought out the same way we are. They went to school and most even went to college...just like many of us.

There is a thread somewhere discussing where you saw an actor and people say they see them in restaurants, subways, walking in the street and even bathrooms!
It's like these "actors" can only be seen on stage in their professional job.

Edit- off topic: This reminds me of a story someone told me. A first grade teacher saw one of their students at the supermarket. The student looked at her mother and said "That person looks like Mr. Kirk" to which her mother said, "That is Mr. Kirk!"
The child believed that Mr. Kirk ONLY taught first grade. He couldn't be a husband, father, go shopping, or anything else...
Of course, this is more acceptable because these are young children who are learning that a person can do more than 1 thing...

I would hope that older people (those that are on BWW) know that actors are people who have "outside/non professional" life too.

Updated On: 8/28/06 at 09:40 PM

[JACXR71]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:44pm

Yeah, after re-reading what I wrote, I thought the same thing, SweetQ. I guess I was trying to tie it all in, saying that the accessibility of Broadway performers nowadays is what stems both discussions like this one AND the seemingly inane "Stars - they're just like us!" threads. I think they both share some common ground, but I do suppose my main point wasn't really relevant to this discussion. Carry on...

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:46pm

Broadway performers have always been accessible - that's where the issue stems from. They're not tv/film stars - you know where these people are every night at 10:30, and you can go meet them there if you so desire.

[aspiringactress]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:47pm

From my experience with actors, and from what I know about friends' experiences, age plays a big part in where exactly those lines lie, seperating th appropraite from the innapropriate. I am 14, but could pass for a few years older. The actors who I have had the most interaction with have never crossed into any territory that I think is inappropriate, probably because the idea of flirting with a 14 year old doesn't even enter their mind. I think also, if yuo have real friends or family friends who are actors, it is easy to distinguish between a friend relationship and a fan relationship.

[MOXIEINTHECITY]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:48pm

What they do affects their personal lives in a way completely different from the overwhelming majority of other “customer service” professions

Weeell, yes and no. There's a way to side step the more unpleasant side to being a "public" figure and that's to set boundaries and state expectations up front.

Customer service oriented careers/companies do it all the time. They set up terms and conditions, cancellation policies, FAQ's, etc. Most companies, if they're smart, put as much technology between themselves and their customers as possible. That way they reduce the amount of actual interaction with customers. Which may not sound customer focused, but it's a necessity because if they didn't they'd be innundated with calls and e-mails.

Same goes for being a celebrity. If you make yourself accessible, then people will reach out to you. And, trust me, eventually it will wear on you.


Updated On: 8/28/06 at 09:48 PM

[JACXR71]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:49pm

I realize that (ETA: Rath) - but I think it's more of an issue nowadays, with things like MySpace, email, repeat visitors, etc, as other people here have mentioned. It makes them that much more accessible, creating a false (and sometimes dangerous) sense of familiarity. Not that the concepts of stalkers or overly obsessed fans haven't always existed, but I would argue that the new media of fandom are contributing to their proliferation.

Updated On: 8/28/06 at 09:49 PM

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:49pm

aa, why are they flirting with you (if indeed they are) in the first place? Isn't that already crossing that line? If they're flirting with you (if indeed they are) then they must be flirting with lots and lots of people. That's asking for trouble.

[Roninjoey]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:50pm

Ah, Moxie made the point about Myspace culture I was gonna make. Too slow. Does this make sense? Myspace achieved its massive popularity relatively recently. Message boards, blogs, etc... have been around for a while, but really, not SO long. Having things like blogs and myspace is like running a personal tabloid. You're basically inviting people to be able to have some constant awareness of your life. And EVERYONE has a blog, from actors to politicians to Susie Q. I suppose the self indulgence to maintain something like that can't be resisted if you know lots of people are going to read it. If you take that chance you have to deal.

When it gets weird I put most of the blame on the fans. That "If you dress sexy that's why you get sexually harrassed" (I'm being hyperbolic and metaphorical) point has a much validity but again, maybe people should lay off. Some of them get really wacky.

[sweetestsiren]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:53pm

Rath, I read aspiringactress's post as saying that none of the actors she knows have flirted with her or been otherwise inappropriate because the age difference removes any remote impression that that's an okay thing to do, whereas that line might be blurred with older fans. I think this is what she meant?

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:56pm

There is a fine line in blogging.

I haven't read many actors blogs but those whom I have read, seem fairly reasonable/appropriate.
They mention shows they've recently seen, special performances they may be doing (ie :Joe's Pub), things they feel people should and can know.

There have been blogs that I have seen that mention specific fans. I do not think that is appropriate.

I don't think myspace has contributed much to the "stalker" type fan. I don't think that myspace MAKES or CAUSES someone to be a stalker. It may contribute to excessive feelings for the actor but I don't think myspace creates stalkers.

Did that make any sense?

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:57pm

Okay, I just reread it, and maybe you're right - I got that she was saying they wre flirting with her but she didn't think it was inappropriate because she looks like she's "legal."

[Yankeefan007]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:58pm

As far as stage door encounters go, I'd say crossing the line is having an actor give their phone number to someone who has seen the show 2 dozen times. I've heard many stories of actors giving out their phone numbers, addresses, etc to people they've seen at stage doors. That doesn't seem like a very sane thing to do. You never know what kind of crazy people there are out there.

I've seen shows many times, actors have recognized me for whatever reason, but the encounter ends at the stage door, even if they say "oh, email me!" It's not my place to be their friend. I don't expect to be friends with my physician...

[HamletWasBipolar]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 9:59pm

Posing for pictures, smiling, and putting their arm around you IS NOT flirting. However, a boobie grab is, and I hardly think that's going on.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 10:01pm

*offers boobie to Hamlet*

[HamletWasBipolar]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 10:03pm

I dont think that technology is contributing to all this fan/stalker stuff. I think more people than ever are grabbing onto to anything to fill their voids..whether that means being obsessed with whomever is playing Elphaba in Milwaukee or obsessed with a pepperoni pizza.....put down the doughnut and step AWAY from the stage door!

[MOXIEINTHECITY]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 10:04pm

You're basically inviting people to be able to have some constant awareness of your life.

Yes, exactly.

I'm not famous, nor am I claiming to be. People read my blog or are a little familiar with my company. I've had a level of publicity that has gotten me some exposure. With that, I've experienced my own little personal hell. By choice, admittedly. I've been approached after workshops or mini-appearances and had people pour their life story out to me, ask me questions,etc. There are times when I have no energy or interest to engage these people. But because they've read about my "life" or patronized my business they think they know me (or that I owe them) and can therefore tell me about their issues.

I am, by my own admission, not a people person. So sometimes I just want to walk away. But I can't because I always have this nagging fear that the person will log on to some online forum and complain about me.

I had to put distance between myself and the people who read my blog. I stopped replying to every e-mail, I stopped engaging people after appearances and kept things impersonal. Some people understood, some didn't.

But I'll tell you this....most people had NO sympathy for me because, as they said, I put myself out there. And they were right. That's why I always advocate distance. You don't have to be rude or cold....but you also can't be totally responsive and engaging because someone, somewhere will take it the wrong way.


I don't think myspace has contributed much to the "stalker" type fan. I don't think that myspace MAKES or CAUSES someone to be a stalker. It may contribute to excessive feelings for the actor but I don't think myspace creates stalkers.

Totally disagree. Two years ago, your access to an actor (Broadway) was at the stage door, a webmaster or through their agent. MySpace, Friendster, Personal Sites....all those sites offer the ability to e-mail these actors. We didn't have that two years ago. (yes, we had e-mail, but we didn't have ways to contact actors.)
How familiar an actor becomes with their fans is in their hands.

Updated On: 8/28/06 at 10:04 PM

[sweetestsiren]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 10:04pm

Yeah, I had to read the post a few times. Just thought I'd offer up a different interpretation.

[Yankeefan007]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 10:08pm

If you put yourself out there, you should expect some recognition. Moxie, I agree with you. There should be some element of distance.

[HamletWasBipolar]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 10:09pm

My boyfriend unfortunately has smacked away and rebuffed your boobie. I can like boobie in character however..but thank God im Meisner based and not Strasberg, otherwise my boobie worship would NOT be believable.

[JACXR71]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 10:09pm

Moxie, I actually mentioned this in one of my very first posts on the board (in fact, I think it's what brought me out of lurking, and it actually ended up being put in the FAQ), but this business is a particularly sticky situation regarding having people spilling their life story or thinking they know you.

You're performing a part that, if the playwright did his job, people will connect with. If it's a particularly dramatic role, or deals with an issue with which people can sympathize and empathize, they'll feel a deep and personal connection to the role, and whoever played it. At the end of the day, it's just a job for you, but these people just saw their own thoughts and feelings manifested by a real person.

I'm not saying it's your (or any actor's) duty to be responsible for a fan's reaction to a performance, but I do think it's important to realize the deeper motivation behind the actions of some of the fans, and behind their eagerness to get to know you personally.

Updated On: 8/28/06 at 10:09 PM

[MOXIEINTHECITY]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 10:13pm

The distance issue is also so that actors won't get worked up or stressed about what people say about them. I posted pictures of myself on my blog for the first time a few months ago. Whgen I say that some people were brutal in their responses is an understatement. That's when I learned to not feed into what people say and distance myself. If you don't, you'll go crazy.

I'm not saying it's your (or any actor's) duty to be responsible for a fan's reaction to a performance, but I do think it's important to realize the deeper motivation behind the actions of some of the fans, and behind their eagerness to get to know you personally.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate it when someone tells me that something I've said has affected them. I've become friends - good friends - with people I've met through appearances and events. But I'm intuitive enough to know what rational behavior and what isn't. I think some actors get so caught up in being some kind of a poster child to fans that they ignore red flags.

Updated On: 8/28/06 at 10:13 PM

[thespian geek]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 10:21pm

This thread really has gotten interesting. Hm.

Now, here's my question. Is it so wrong of a fan who speaks with an actor on a regular basis at stagedoor (no matter who initiates conversation) - and even away from stagedoor if they happen to run into them - to refer to the actor as an acquaintance? Or is that still stepping on toes, in your opinion?

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 8/28/06 at 10:24pm

I don't know that I personally find a problem with acquiantence. By definition and your example, it seems alright. I find a huge, huge, HUGE overuse of the term "friend" in this kind of situation, though. It irks me, because I'm really careful about how I use the term, in any situation. I've become very close to an actor who I've now known for over a year and a half, and it took me the vast majority of that year and a half -- during which he has spent extraordinary amounts of time getting to know me, met my family, and many other things that just exude generosity -- to feel comfortable calling him a friend.

Updated On: 8/28/06 at 10:24 PM