Can you critique me?

[sondheim94]

Posted: 8/18/13 at 8:25pm

I was debating putting this link here for awhile; However, I've never had the chance to get any real criticism on my work. No area newspapers really offer criticism. They mostly report only positives. This seemed like a good place to get some constructive advice.

Just some background. I'm going to school for Theatre (not MT). I'll be a sophomore this fall.

I'm actually pretty nervous performing this... poor breath support abound... anyways, enjoy! Let me know what you think :)
I'll Be Here - The Wild Party

[sephyr]

Posted: 8/18/13 at 9:33pm

I thought it was a nice performance. You connected with the message and everything and you sounded good. I'd say just don't be afraid to let go of your emotions and let your voice soar. It looked like you were holding back a little, acting and singing wise. I have that problem sometimes too.

And I'd also suggest trying to dig deeper under the surface of the song and your intention, the more detailed you get, the more you'll find things to set your performances apart, you know? Just a few things I've learned. You're on your way. Again, good good job! :)

Posted: 8/18/13 at 9:39pm

Yep. Nothing wrong- just need to relax and let it flow.

[ARTc3]

Posted: 8/18/13 at 9:44pm

sondheim94, first, it took a lot of courage to put that link up here and ask for "constructive advice". I tend to see this board as less than "constructive". Of course, having a thick skin is a huge part of succeeding as a performer. So, perhaps either way - positive or negative feedback - will help you towards your goal.

As for your performance... I thought it mediocre to good. You have a decent instrument, but you were correct when you typed, "poor breath support abound". You also slid into several notes and didn't hit others. So, you'd have to tighten up your vocal skills. As for your delivery... you understood the song and that's good - very good - but you also are way too stiff and struggle with being comfortable enough to not be conscious of your hands.

You have talent. You just still have a ways to go.

Mostly, this is just my honest opinion. It is only one opinion. Take it or leave it. Which brings us back to having a thick skin...

Updated On: 8/18/13 at 09:44 PM

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 8/18/13 at 10:54pm

And we all listen to someone who just joined less than a month ago!

[Minadnan]

Posted: 8/18/13 at 11:14pm

Go on a talent show and they will critique you and you will get publicity from doing it. Because I have no idea how to critique great singing

Posted: 8/18/13 at 11:45pm

Am I the only one who noticed the only negativity came from "the outsider" who slammed this place for being negative?

[ARTc3]

Posted: 8/18/13 at 11:55pm

"I've never had the chance to get any real criticism on my work... This seemed like a good place to get some constructive advice."

We were asked for our honest opinion(s) and that's what I gave.

As for my having joined less than a month ago... that is not the case. I am the ARTc from years ago with many many posts to my username. There were issues with my registration and so I had to re-register. I've been around - on and off - since 2004 (I think that's when I first joined).

I am sure that sondheim94 appreciates that you disagree with me. Honestly, so am I. It is never my intention to "hurt" anyone.

I thought I was fair. I thought the performance showed talent. I also thought that some - very few - of the notes were not attacked and hit on target. Some were slid into; some where missed altogether. The interpretation was good, but slightly stiff. I wrote what I saw.

I also wrote that I am just one opinion. Perhaps, not even a very good one.

sondheim94, it was not my intention to hurt your feelings. It was my intentions to offer you one honest opinion among many possible posters here. If I offended you, I am sorry.

Updated On: 8/18/13 at 11:55 PM

[Liza's Headband]

Posted: 8/18/13 at 11:57pm

"I tend to see this board as less than "constructive".

Why post here, then?

[Minadnan]

Posted: 8/19/13 at 12:01am

The problem is and yes I am going and leaving this forum. That EVERYONE is acting like little children who have the brains of 3 year olds who have a disease greater than autism and seem to think degrading everyone seems to be a good sport of this forum. I wish everyone could treat difference with respect and dignity rather than than treating them like stupid people in a mental prison.

[ARTc3]

Posted: 8/19/13 at 12:01am

^^ Excellent question... I am passionate about theater and although I find a lot of nasty here - as do many people (just read the posts) - I love discussing theater and staying in touch with current events and thought. This board provides me with a place to read many different ideas regarding theater. Some I agree with, some I don't.

I have had my feeling hurt here and I suspect I have hurt a few, too. As I wrote earlier, it is never my intentions to be rude or hurtful. BroadwayWorld has taught me to have a thicker skin, and for that I am thankful.

Updated On: 8/19/13 at 12:01 AM

[kurt.perry41]

Posted: 8/19/13 at 12:07am

It was a fairly strong performance, especially vocally. Although I would say that you need to spend sometime with the piece digging for some subtlety and nuance. Also a lot of the movements were indicating or incredibly stiff. I would rather see a performer do a park and bark than see them use unmotivated hand movements.


Good work though!!!

[ARTc3]

Posted: 8/19/13 at 12:07am

Minadnam I hope that your words weren't directed to me. I don't think I was degrading. I thought I offered sondheim94 genuine respect by trusting his request and offering him exactly what he asked for. I want to believe that he created this thread because he truly wanted honest opinions. Many opinions. Not just mine.

I am pleased that other people here saw his performance in a positive light. Actually, I did too.

I am not the only opinion and I was clear to state that. It was my intention to offer "constructive advice".

Updated On: 8/19/13 at 12:07 AM

[BwayTday]

Posted: 8/19/13 at 3:34am

You're tone is really lovely. Vocally one of my only notes would be to try to focus your voice in your mask more, letting go of some of that chest 'power'(for lack of better term) will help you have a less muddy sound on the bigger notes. You still want to have chest resonance so it doesn't become 'nasally', but you don't want to push your sound and excess energy up from your chest, if that makes any sense. Performance wise I agree that you could be a bit looser and also don't be afraid to just stand and sing and not embellish your performance with a bunch of movement. You have a lot of potential though! Keep training!

[ullabelt]

Posted: 8/19/13 at 5:24am

What does joining less than a month ago have to do with anything? Its still a valid opinion.

An 'outsider' really? You realise this is a message board and not a 16th century village right?

[dramamama611]

Posted: 8/19/13 at 6:09am

You have to love when a nice thread is trod upon by those claiming how awful others are. Shouldn't your faux tirade be saved for threads that actually have bit*hiness?

Have I seen folks torn apart for doing this? Only those that are truly terrible. In fact, I am always suprised how nicely most of these threads are handled.


To the OP: I was def apprehensive, but your performance was quite lovely. You do need to learn to relax when you perform, which will give you an entire new level for your singing. My favorite thing about your performance, is that you didn't just sing, like a true actor, you were performing, feeling. Technically, training is going to springboard you to new heights. I would look into finding a private voice choach to help you with thst.

[Chrranke]

Posted: 8/19/13 at 6:55am

I thought your rendition was very good. I am glad you didnt try to mimic the origial. You are stronger in the beginning and if you want my advice I would try to let loose and have more fun with it. Work on your upper register and focus yor tone more. Your vibrato is wonderful.

[Doughie]

Posted: 8/19/13 at 8:37am

Sondheim94

I thought it was above average, but a bit boring. You need to work on your technique and using different elements in the song, for example "Can I whisper this part?" "Could I just talk this line?" "Could I belt the hell out of this part?" Play with a little, make the song live on it's own!

AND you need to think about how you look on stage. Standing straight with a little walk is not fun to look at. "Can I sit down or kneel somewhere in the song?" "In what directions can my arms go?" "Should I stand as a lumber jack or a very shy boy or something else?"

Glad to help! I know how frustrating it can be when you're not getting the criticism you need to grow :)

[sondheim94]

Posted: 8/19/13 at 9:26am

Wow - Thank you all... well most of you... for the wonderful criticism. I'm not sure you realize how helpful it is! I am so grateful. Thank you!

As for all the snarky cattiness at the beginning... I'm not sure why an opinion is invalid because someone joined a month ago... It's still an opinion, is it not?

Anyways, thank you all again! I'm glad to have identified new areas to work in, and have confirmed areas I already knew about.

[ARTc3]

Posted: 8/19/13 at 10:03am

You rock! You took all of our thoughts in the best possible way. More than any one element of your performance, that alone is going to get you far. Talent and persistence are the keys. It is clear to me you have both. (Perhaps, a good dose of luck, too.)

I wish you amazing success in your dream to take the stage. And, more importantly - selfishly - I look forward to the day when I see you on that stage and remember this thread. I have no doubt you'll get there.

Updated On: 8/19/13 at 10:03 AM

[PalJoey]

Posted: 8/19/13 at 10:39am

Mindaman and Art--stop making other people's threads all about YOU. That's what brands you both as attention-seeking trolls.

Sondheim94: Not bad. Not bad at all!

Posted: 8/19/13 at 11:02am

I called Art "an outsider" because, well, he clearly drew a line between himself and "this board" which he condemned as being "less that constructive." That's all. I know I am not part of a 16th century village- I am living in a Patrick Dennis "novel."

[GavestonPS]

Posted: 8/19/13 at 9:36pm

Okay, I got bored with the discussion about whether we are "negative" here. (Personally I don't post anything to young people unless it includes constructive criticism and a suggestion for a course of action.)

To the OP: I agree withe the positive responses above. Lovely tone and, relative to others your age, you do a pretty good job with the dynamics of the number. Yes, you need to work on supporting big and/or loud notes with your diaphragm rather than your throat. But you can find a teacher at college who will help.

One tiny criticism: I think (I'm emphasizing that this is only my opinion) you need to find another way to stand. I realize you had a bare stage to work with, but standing with your feet in second position (i.e., at 45 degree angles from your heels) gives you an odd silhouette all the way up through your hips.

Find another way to stand, and/or sing more in profile, or bring a chair with you on stage. (You can always put one foot on the seat; you don't have to sit down.)

If you must stand facing straight out to the audience (and I don't know why you would) make sure you point your toes the same way the rest of your body is facing.

Again, this is a small item, but it bothered me throughout.