Going to Shows Alone? — Page 2

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#26

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 9:31am

I go alone at least half the time. When you go as often as I do, it's nearly impossible to coordinate schedules so that you always have a companion. Also, I tend to do last-minute a lot, which often means going solo.

"You travel alone because other people are only there to remind you how much that hook hurts that we all bit down on. Wait for that one day we can bite free and get back out there in space where we belong, sail back over water, over skies, into space, the hook finally out of our mouths and we wander back out there in space spawning to other planets never to return hurrah to earth and we'll look back and can't even see these lives here anymore. Only the taste of blood to remind us we ever existed. The earth is small. We're gone. We're dead. We're safe." -John Guare, Landscape of the Body

#27

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 9:35am

I go to what I want to see-alone or not. It's a real potpourri for me. There are times I want to go alone to see something (I consider it my 'me time'). And then, sometimes I use it as a social occasion. It varies from show to show.

#28

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 9:40am

I feel the same way, dreaming. There can be something kind of peaceful about losing yourself for a few hours alone in a dark theatre. Just having your own experience. That's one of the reasons I've long-preferred to go to movies alone.

#29

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 12:07pm

For me, it's the same as many of you feel. If I want to see a show, I will go even if no one is available to go with me. I do like to share the experience with friends or family, but I've seen many shows alone, and I enjoy them just the same. It is extremely difficult to coordinate schedules with people, and I have had people cancel on me even though we have been looking forward to seeing a show on a set date. On one occasion, a friend of mine cancelled for basically no reason (said that she kind of felt lazy so didn't want to go anymore), and that was very frustrating. On that day, I decided to go alone anyway, and had a great time.

#30

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 12:15pm

In college I went to a lot of the touring shows alone. It actually worked out well because sometimes I'd snag a free ticket or something.

#31

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 12:24pm

I have a lot of friends with very theatrically specialized interests (some don't like classic shows, some do, some are big fans of specific performers, etc...), so I go alone about half the time, but knowing that I have someone to share a joke/discussion with later on is fun, too.

"This thread reads like a series of White House memos." — Mister Matt

#32

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 2:04pm

Yes, I travel to NYC about twice a year. I go once in the Summer and Winter. I usually do my marathon of shows with 6-7 shows in a 4-5 day period. I would love for someone to go, but it is hard to find someone that is a great travel companion, and will want to see that many shows in a short period of time. My last trip I went with a friend, we saw one show together, and they did their own thing the rest of the time. It wasn't ideal, but it was nice to have someone that tagged along for the trip.

Not to be confused with Dave19.

Updated On: 10/29/14 at 02:04 PM

#33

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 2:11pm

I have gone to the theater a couple times alone. It does not bother me until intermission and then you have to stand alone and you do not have someone to talk about it but other then that it doesn't bother me.

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around."

#34

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 2:32pm

I'm homeschooled and have no friends. I live here in LA. I only see theatre at the Pantages, all three Center Theatre Group theatres, maybe workshop (like Heathers), maybe special LA show (like Bare revival), & once a year Hollywood Bowl musical. I don't like seeing school productions or community, sorry bout it.

Exact numbers:
Out of "going to" the theatre- 73 times
Someone came with me- 13 times
Went alone- 60 times

No one in my house appreciates theatre.. but we all go together to see a musical once a year. Like The Lion King & Wicked.

At first I didn't like going by myself because I felt like everyone would be looking at me.... AS IF! No one cares. I can go to the theatre most times without talking to anyone but the actors at the stage door. It's rare that a stranger talks to you, but when they do it's really nice.There is ALWAYS a seat when you go by yourself. You don't have to worry about finding a pair.

Going by yourself is spiritual. I love watching & appreciating a show without having to think how bored, are they liking it?,when I'm with someone.

#35

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 3:18pm

What I've done on more than one occasion back when TKTS was the only source of discount tickets was split up and see different shows and meet up afterwards for drinks if we couldn't agrre what to see. We'd each be buzzing about our own show and converastion was more engaging than simply, "Yeah, I liked that part too." One time we were about 6 and 4-5 different shows. Haven't seen anything alone on forever but have an afternoon to kill in Toronto soon and hoping for a lottery win at Book of Mormon.

#36

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 4:34pm

I do both but I more often go alone. I love to go with certain friends and family members but because I am more interested than most and I live right here (walking distance), I can go way more often and often last minute, so alone is perfect. I don't love to go to movies alone but the theater is different.

I can't say I am a chatterbox but I do enjoying meeting the people next to me or on line... and having a conversation (if they are also inclined). I also often wind up sitting next to tourists. Being a life-long New Yorker, I am able to answer some of their questions and I make sure they don't go home with the stereotypical idea that New Yorkers are rude and uncaring.

But whether I prefer going alone or with others - the main point is that I NEVER feel uncomfortable going alone.

#37

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 4:51pm

I remember the first time I went to the theater alone. I was still in High School, and probably the best gift I've ever gotten from my parents was a season subscription to McCarter Theater in Princeton. But there was only one subscription, so if I wanted to go, it was just me. Alone. I was 15, maybe 16. And it was the "talk back" performance series. I was in heaven.

The shows were
Taming of the Shrew (which was freaking amazeballs)
Hay Fever with Helen Hayes (I think)
Eminent Domain (which I hated)
And.....uh.....something else.

I got over being alone pretty fast.

If we're not having fun, then why are we doing it? These are DISCUSSION boards, not mutual admiration boards. Discussion only occurs when we are willing to hear what others are thinking, regardless of whether it is alignment to our own thoughts.

#38

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 5:05pm

"It's much easier to get great seats when you go alone. I go alone to a lot of shows, but whenever my family is in town they all want to go to shows together."

This works with sporting events also.

When at a show, and I've never been alone, usually alone in my own world anyway.

Stephanatic

#39

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 10:03pm

What a fascinating bunch of replies. thank you all. I may have to print them out and review them for my next trip to nyc. I am a bit on the shy side but love it when I can actually strike up a conversation in New York. but I'm always wary of talking to someone next to me that doesn't really want to talk but is too polite to say.
and many of you did address my ultimate concern - the feeling of being a friendless loser. (I do have friends but like many of you said, coordinating is nearly impossible.)
anyway. lots to think about here.

one funny relevant anecdote - I wasn't alone at this show but I did begin to talk before the show, to an older gentleman next to me who, also, was not alone. I suppose I kept up the conversation more than he expected and he exclaimed, "you are unbelievable". I thought he meant it in a good way. then I began to wonder. I didn't speak again. after intermission he had switched seats with another in his party. oh well.

#40

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/29/14 at 11:09pm

I prefer going to shows with someone else, but unfortunately it rarely happens (especially in NYC, since I travel alone). It used to bother me more in the past, not having someone to share the experience and my impressions, but now I'm used to it. I'm actually going to NYC in two weeks and going alone to shows is not even something I think about anymore.

Funny thing is, I feel like it became less of a problem to me because recently (probably in the last couple of years) I started interacting a lot more with people sitting next to me, so it became less of a lonely experience. It's usually other people who start the conversation, especially older ladies... They love me for some reason LOL

Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.

Updated On: 10/29/14 at 11:09 PM

#41

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/30/14 at 12:03am

I'd like to try going alone to a show sometime soon. I usually bring people with me and end up being the leader as far as show pick and tickets. In the back of my mind, I'm always concerned that the seats weren't great or I made my friends over spend. I'm also hoping my friends like the show and are having as good of a time as I am. Going alone would be the epitome of relaxation and entertainment. Most of my friends are not ones to go into in-depth post show discussions, so I'm not really missing much!

#42

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/30/14 at 7:47am

I use to go alone the majority of the time except for the rare show a friend or family member would like to see. My current girlfriend is really into going though so it has been nice to be able to go with someone the majority of the time. I live in NYC but it takes me about an hour from where I am to actually get to the theatre district so I find that travelling with someone is usually nicer but there are some shows she doesn't have any interest in so I just throw on a pair of headphones when I have to travel in by myself.

I've had some nice people talk to me when I go alone and only a few times have had weird people talk to me but it is hard to politely say please don't talk to me lol

I see a lot of you seem to worry about what the person who went with you thinks about the show and the seats but this doesn't bother me at all. If they don't like it then they don't like it. You're not always gonna have the same opinions about shows and there is nothing wrong with that.

#43

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/30/14 at 12:59pm

Very interesting post Comden Green. I go to shows alone most of the time. Mainly because I love the freedom of choosing what I want to see when I want to see. To many times my schedules do not match up with my friends and I end up catching too many shows on their last week. I will agree the only negative side of it is that sometimes you need to talk to someone about the ending or something (ie: I had to call up friends to talk about The Real Thing and Hedwig). But there is such a soothing escape to be alone and completely immersed in a great play. It is more common than most people think…I mean I personally enjoy going to the movies on my own sometimes also. Always glad to meet up after a show or whatnot. Have a great time in the city and be sure to enjoy that special time for yourself!

#44

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/30/14 at 1:01pm

I go alone all the time. Most of the time probably. I wouldn't get to see half of what I see if I waited to align schedules with friends.

I don't tend to like to talk to people sitting next to me, but I guess everyone is different.

#45

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/30/14 at 1:04pm

The only time anyone ever gave me any kind of grief for going to a show alone was when I won Book of Mormon lotto and although I had a friend help me, I was the only one who could go, so we'd both circled "1" on the form. When I took my seat, I was the last one to be seated in our row -- the guy next to me (who had won and came with his teenage son) said, "Huh, leave your husband at home? hur hur" And I just looked at him and said, "No. I was the only one of my friends who entered who could go." Really, I should've said "No, my wife." But I think my tone let him know I thought he was being ridiculous.

"This thread reads like a series of White House memos." — Mister Matt

#46

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/30/14 at 1:48pm

I rarely go alone now because I either go with my partner or with friends, but when I was a teenager, I would come into Manhattan each Saturday morning to take acting classes and would attend a matinee afterward, usually alone unless one of my acting-class mates decided to come along. If I really loved something, I would go again and bring a friend or relative or schoolmate.

Those matinees, mostly attended solo, were the formative experiences of my life and aesthetics.

Updated On: 10/30/14 at 01:48 PM

#47

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/30/14 at 4:44pm

The marathon long-weekend visits to NY Theater (6 shows in 4 days) are trips I always do with my husband. Our tastes are shockingly similar and we'll invariably both come out at intermission bursting to make the same comment, whether positive or negative, about what we've seen. The very few times we've walked out of a show before it was over (DEMOCRACY, AUGUST OSAGE COUNTY) we were in utter agreement that staying longer would not have improved things enough. And believe us, we were both climbing the walls to get out of THEN SHE FELL, even though he was in one room and I was in another, long before they finally deigned to unlock the doors and let us escape.

So for us, going together and having a sympathetic companion to parce the evening with doubles the joy of going (even if to a show we ended up loathing). Seeing tears fall down my husband's cheek during "The Letter" in BILLY ELLIOTT prompted my own (he had lost his mother earlier that year). In company with Paul, the awful shows become bearable, and the best shows become among the great mileposts of our lives together.

That said, my work frequently takes me out of town without my honey, and of course I've seen my share of shows on my own. The experience always makes me anxious-- I'm relieved when the show turns out not so great ("oh good, Paul hasn't missed anything"), and if a show is terrific, my first thought is "how can I get another 2 tickets for when my husband will be in town?" One example? I still feel great disappointment regarding the Banderas revival of NINE, a show I saw on my own, thought was spectacular, and alas watched it fold up shop before Paul could see what the fuss was about.

#48

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/30/14 at 7:44pm

More fascinating, helpful replies. I wish I had begun this thread before I went to ny in mid oct. my next trip won't be until May. some of you sounded like you might be interested in meeting to discuss a show. if it's alright I might contact you before I go and see if we can make connections somehow. (funnily enough a friend says he can go with me in May so I won't be alone. I'm still interested in the possibilities of a post show get together with you guys.)
Is there anyone else that may have an interest?

#49

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/30/14 at 7:53pm

Former NYer who goes to the city every month or so for business and sometimes with my wife and kids (yes. I am the straight married guy here) I love going on my own when here then bringing them back to shows I have loved, I like to go to shows they wouldn't enjoy by myself (I like a wide variety of shows). Sometimes I chat with people near me, sometimes not. I can lose my **** over Next to Normal without feeling bad. I can contemplate something deep without interruption. I can enjoy Kinky Boots with my daughter, Hedwig with my wife or BOM with my son

Theatre is great alone. And with others

Updated On: 10/30/14 at 07:53 PM

#50

Going to Shows Alone?

Posted: 10/30/14 at 7:53pm

Now that my kids are older and more into their own social lives, I end up going alone a lot, and I tend to prefer it that way. No one wants to hang out at the Drama Bookshop for an hour while I browse. And, when I saw A CHRISTMAS STORY at a matinee in Boston, I liked it so much that, right after the show I walked up to the box office and bought a ticket for the evening show. I would never have been able to do that if others were with me.

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