Has anyone been a big fan and met the person and became good friends?- Page 3

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 1:07pm

Thanks Rathnait. By the way, I love your new picture.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 1:09pm

Why thank you! FYI: I have never met, befriended, nor waited at a stage door for Ms. Blethyn. But she makes a lovely icon.

Updated On: 11/19/04 at 01:09 PM

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 1:11pm

Oh, I'm so embarassed. I thought that was you!!! Still, nice photo.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 1:14pm

Oh!! I wish I was that pretty! It's Brenda Blethyn.

[laactress]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 1:16pm

Yes, this has totally happend to me! It's cool when it happens.

[VIETgrlTerifa]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 1:20pm

"Can't I make you understand? You're having delusions of grandeur..."

[GirlfriendFromCanada]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 1:54pm

I think this is an interesting question, if only because of the balance that comes along with it. As responses to some of the comments on this thread allude, it seems it's difficult for people to believe that it's possible, and a lot of fans are the reason for that difficulty. There's obviously the delusioned fans, the people who try too hard, etc.

But that doesn't mean it can't happen. It's a hard place to be in while it's happening, because when you aren't delusioned and it really is happening, you keep worrying that you are and that it's not. In the end, though, actors are just people. Fans are people. Occassionally, there is going to be a connection that can lead to a friendship. I've seen it happen to some of the people I'm closest to. One of my best friends started out as, and still is, a fan of someone in a current show, and they're now VERY close friends. It took her a long time to accept that she wasn't just being humored, that she wasn't reading into everything, and she got a lot of doubting from people who wanted that relationship. But, in the end, they're closer for it.

So yeah, that's my take on it, I guess. I know people love to doubt the possibilty, but chances are, some of those doubters are people who think they're relationships are just more legit. Updated On: 11/19/04 at 01:54 PM

[NativeNewYorker]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 2:10pm

Also, I think a lot of these friendships form because most actors, when they're in a show, are usually friends with other actors. They probably don't have many friends who are NOT in the business...so when they're friends with a fan, that's one friend they have that they know will always be willing to listen to them and hear about how things are going in their career...since their other friends are either doing the same things they are ("I starred in a Broadway show last night!" "Big deal, so am I!") or having a hard time finding a job and they don't want to make them feel bad ("I starred in a Broadway show last night!" "I'm performing at children's birthday parties!")

So, that way, everyone's happy.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 2:15pm

Not in my experience. It's a healthy balance - yes, their career is discussed, but so is yours. Plus family, mutual friends, movies, pets, and everything else you discuss with a FRIEND. Not an acquaintance who you try to make into something more because you want the cachet of having a Broadway star as a friend.

[midtowngym]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 2:22pm

Rath, i KNOW you are not referring to me and Raul Esparza. That man LOVES me as much as I love him.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 2:24pm

Even when you almost run him over with your bicycle?

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 2:26pm

Of course I'm not, middy darling.

[midtowngym]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 2:30pm

i couldn't help almost running him over. It was as if Jesus was walking up Lafayette Street, AND he had the Jesus beard too-I lost my concentration. No one was hurt!

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 2:31pm

[GirlfriendFromCanada]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 2:48pm

It gets to a point where it's a healthy balance, obviously. As friendships should be. But friendships aren't necessarily immediate, and it's the path to actually becoming friends where the balance can be weird.

[ShineOn]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 2:52pm

I think "friend" is a term used SO loosely these days that it's hard to distinguish true friendships from acquaintances. The lines get blurred. It's easy to get confused...

For instance, Alice once introduced me as her "friend" to a friend of hers. Yes, I *know* her and am a fan, but we don't hang out and she doesn't call me when she's down, etc. I certainly wouldn't consider her a "friend", but someone I know and admire. I mean, we all know what makes up a TRUE friend... but *everyone* throws that word around like it's going out of style for the mere reason that sometimes you just don't know HOW to refer to a person. You don't introduce people as acquaintances... I've never heard anyone say, "HEY, this is my acquaintance, !" It's just not done.

Soooo... I always take it with a grain of salt when someone refers to another person as their friend. In ANY situation, actor/fan relationships aside. God knows I've introduced people as my friends who I barely know and wouldn't call if I really needed something.

Also, there are all different levels of friendships. Different friendships consist of different things, so it's really just all relative.

Updated On: 11/19/04 at 02:52 PM

[midtowngym]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 3:03pm

Alice Ripley? Alice doesn't live here anymore? Go ask Alice? Alice from Mel's Diner?

[ShineOn]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 3:07pm

God, I *wish* Linda Lavin referred to me as her friend! I love that woman!!!

[GirlfriendFromCanada]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 3:08pm

That's a good example.

I've had situations similar to that, specifically when a friend of mine invited me to an after-party for a show he was just in. He introduced me to all of his theater related friends as a his friend, but at the same time, our relationsip is pretty much limited to seeing each other when he's in different projects. We catch up when we see each other, but we rarely hang out outside of something he's doing. I do consider him a friend, because it's never just "good job!" "thanks!", but it's definitely a different level of friendship than say, my friends form college. Meanwhile, that is the level my above-mentioned friend has.

[Chevstriss]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 3:16pm

does friend include a toss in the hay whenever their tour is intown?

[ShineOn]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 3:18pm

Yes, GFC... That's exactly what I'm referring to.

That's sort of remnant of my friendship with a certain actress. I don't see her often outside a theatre setting, but when I do see her at different shows our conversations aren't limited to just that, etc.

My level of friendship with her is different than my other friends, but on the same token, my friendships with all my friends are different. You're clearly closer with some, but I see many of my friends in very specific settings.

The way I see it is you have your handful of "true" friends, if you are so lucky, and the purpose of the rest in your life are everchanging and vary greatly.


Of course, I've seen many cases where people experience similar friendships to the ones you and I just described, but are under the impression these people are their best friends. That has always confused me.

Updated On: 11/19/04 at 03:18 PM

[midtowngym]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 3:25pm

I'd be more concerned that your friends don't tell you their last names.

[midtowngym]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 3:26pm

I'd be more concerned that your friends don't tell you their last names.

[midtowngym]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 3:26pm

I'd be more concerned that your friends don't tell you their last names.

[midtowngym]

Posted: 11/19/04 at 3:26pm

I'd be more concerned that your friends don't tell you their last names.