Has anyone been a big fan and met the person and became good friends? — Page 5

I first met Daphne Rubin-Vega after one of her gigs. I was kind of overwhelmed, because I'd never been to one of those events before, and it was a pub so I'm guessing I was the youngest there...a few months later I saw her in Anna in the Tropics while it was playing at Princeton, and I gave her a letter and talked to her a bit after the show. She wrote me back and sent a picture, and then I went to another one of her gigs...something semi-embarassing happened before she performed, and so she remembered me after that, lol. When I saw 'Between Us' a few months ago, she saw me in the front row, and had an usher grab me for her before I left, because there was a questions and answers thing with the playwright that lasted about 15 minutes. She really is one of the sweetest and kindest people ever. I only get a chance to talk with her after shows or her concerts, and sometimes email. She even asked me and my friends about babysitting a little while ago...don't know about that haha.

Also Sebastian Arcelus (who officially left RENT ;-() knew me and would talk to me after I saw the show, and I gave him this letter, and then about a month later he was in the audience at Subway Train, and during intermission he came to my seat and told me my letter was beautiful and kept thanking me for it over and over...and told me how it had moved him. I was in shock. I was touched, and was so happy it had moved him. He asked for my email later, and whenever I see him he'll give me a hug and we'll chat a bit. He's a great guy. I hope Good Vibrations does well.

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My personal definition of friend: do you have their direct phone # and email? when they see its you on caller ID, do they pick up?

When i was friends w/ a coupla stars, it was before the days of caller ID or even voice mail, so they had to pick up. I'm no longer "friends" w/ them, but one has started emailing me again after 25 yrs. Maybe we could be friends again someday.

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Thanks for analyzing, mint. I never said that I considered myself 'good friends' with either of the two. Yes, castmembers tend to generally recognize people. I'm not someone who sees the show like every week, but I go once in a while. I'm not someone who waits at the stagedoor to leap on actors and get pictures and stuff like that. If I bump into him outside the theatre before the show starts, or if he has time to talk after the show, we talk, and other than that we talk through email. It's not like I take him to dinner and ask for his number :-p. I never really think 'Oh, we're buddies,' when I talk to him, or Daphne. That one time after Between Us, I had figured that Daphne had left the theatre already so I was about to leave, but apparently she'd seen me in the audience and had told one of the ushers to come up to me after the discussion was over, and said 'Daphne told me to to have her friends wait for her,' and so I waited, and later she came out and tapped me on the back and gave me a hug, and we talk, she asks about school, and talks about the baby. Again, obviously it's not like the other relationsips people are talking about on this board where they go out to lunch and stuff like that.

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Isn't that a generalization? Unless you are speaking specifically of Idina & Bebe? I don't really get what you mean.

Here is my take on this, if people really have become friends from being a fan that's great, just as great as it is for becoming friend with anyone else.. Friends are good.. but if you truly are friends with someone why would you want to flaunt it all over the Internet? I just feel that any true friendship isn't something that you wave around like a big old flag.. I think a true friendship is something you hold close to you and it doesn't matter who knows it or not just as long as the friendship is important to the it involves ... but that's just my point of view.

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I just feel that if you are friends with someone no matter who they are you should be friends with them for the same reason you would be friends with everyone else.. For example if I where friends with someone like Madonna (I'm so not, just an example) I wouldn't tell the world that I was friends with her, I wouldn't keep it a secret, that's not what I am saying either, I just feel it should be treated like any other friendship.. you said other people might want to know but if they have friends then they should know.. true all friendships are different but it should be different solely because they happen to be performers or such. I tend to keep a great value in 'friend'.

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It's just a discussion whether it's possible to be a big fan of someone and be a good friend. I don't think there's any exploitation going on here.

I find that a little insulting, to say that just because we've mentioned friends and reminisced rather vaguely about past experiences, we're exploiting our friendships.

If you've exchanged e-mails before, I don't see anything wrong with dropping her an e-mail. Just be careful not to be overbearing. Don't send her fifty e-mails or anything, let her respond and go from there (that's good advice in ANY early friendship, no matter who they are).

On the original topic of the thread: I know people who this has happened to. One of my very good friends is pretty close with a big name in the talk-and-gets-her-hand-me-down-cloths way (No names. I'm never sure what I'm allowed to say on the subject, but better to be safe than sorry). And that started out as a fan thing.

I myself had something of the opposite happen. The only actress I could come CLOSE to saying I'm friends with (because dancing drunk with Kerry Butler doesn't count :P) is currently the lead in a show, but I met her for the first time completely outside of that show. She's good friends with one of my best friends, and had come to see him in something at our college. I wound up sitting next to her the whole show and we talked. Since then, I've become a huge fan of her work (I was only vaguely aware of her before).

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You should rent Selena (starring the multi-talented J-LO). It's also on VH1 all the time. It can happen,, but um it doesn't seem like a really balanced relationship... It's kinda like when you fall in love with someone and they don't feel the same way. It's really pathetic. I've heard so many stories from my actor friends of bway groupies. One girl used to follow a friend of mine to the subway and go out of her way to sit next to him.

The one thing people on here often fail to see how embarassed these actors get when they are stalked by "fans." It gets a little old and when your out and about with normal people as it's pretty surreal to have one run up start blabbing and asking for pics and to sign crap with glitter pens.

I once saw Taye Diggs run from a fan. That had to be the funniest thing ever. He bolted.

Updated On: 7/19/06 at 04:06 PM

I facebooked Steve Kazee of Spamalot and he rejected me. Guess that means we aren't friends. Damn! I felt such a connection at the stage door too.

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I didn't take the time to read all of this, so apologies if this has been repeated but...

We all live very busy lives. Working actors are especially busy. They barely have time for long time friends let alone new "theater pals". They're not insincere when they say "keep in touch. But I'm fairly sure most don't mean "stay in touch" over little things going on in your life. That's not being rude. They are simply very busy.

In a nutshell, if an "actor acquaintance", which is what many people mistake for a friend/relationship, exchanges an e-mail with you, don't overuse it. LOL! They might not recall who you are, if it was a one time meeting. They meet a LOT of people.

IE: If they land a new role, it's ok to send a congratulatory e-mail. But it's not ok to e-mail out of the blue to say "what's going on in your life/career?" Unless, UNLESS you are truly a long time, close friend and have established that kind of a rapport with him/her.

I work(ed) with a lot of actors over the years. Some I know better than others. From covering interviews I have a lot of e-mails and personal cell phone #'s. I wouldn't think of using that as a means to "keep in touch", unless, UNLESS he/she feel comfortable with me to do so and I had a reason to contact him/her.

When in doubt, respect others busy lives. If they want to keep in touch, they will.

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Updated On: 7/19/06 at 07:57 PM

I know someone who was a fan of Marin Mazzie. They discover in the course of their conversation that they have a common friend and have become friends since. So whenever Marin and Jason are in town (SF), they at least try to go to dinner.