How much theater is too much?

My family staged an intervention today when I got home from work. They think I see too much theater! They think that seeing a show five or six times is too much, and a sign that I need help. I saw about 100 shows last year. They say that they don't know anyone who sees that much theater! I work a full-time job, and I also work a part-time job on the side that pays for my theatergoing. I honestly feel that seeing two show a week is not too much. I am a good spouse, and my daughter is grown, so I'm not taking care of a young child. Help me out, here! Is 100 shows too much? I feel I am a responsible adult, and I'm entitled to enjoy myself a little bit. As long as I can afford the theater, what's the harm? I love my family, but I don't know what to do. I need to work this out. Any suggestions?

If you're not harming anyone (including yourself), I don't see the issue.

There's a big difference between going to shows because you enjoy them and going to shows because you HAVE to go to them.

I don't think a lot of people understand people who do things that make themselves happy now-a-days. My parents are always getting on me about spending money on theater (I live in VA, my friend and I try to go up at least twice every season and binge on shows for the whole weekend), but it makes me happy and I'm not going to stop doing something just because someone else doesn't understand it.

If you have the means, and you can stop your theatre-going at any time without repercussions to yourself, I don't see the harm! Enjoy your life. (:

Oh, yeah. just tell your spouse and daughter to buzz off and "get a life." That's what any sensible, mature adult would say to his or her family. Clearly.

My two cents: confer with those you know and trust on these lofty personal matters. Not strangers on a message board.

You are a grownup. You should be able to spend your time and your money in any way you see fit.

When you can't hold a conversation not regarding theater, then it's a problem, but other than that, I'd say you're fine. And I envy you!

Maybe your folks see a creative side of yourself that they think you are repressing by watching the creativity of others. Just guessing, of course...

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I have not participated in an intervention, nor had one sprung on me, but I imagine that the heart of a well-reasoned case to be made would have to be that your habit is resulting in the prominent lacking of something(s) else in your life that is neglected by your current choices. Did they make any sort of a compelling case as to what you might be missing in life, to their eyes?

It is fully your right as an adult to simply choose different priorities in life than they might, but to your question of how to work this out, make sure you pay attention to what they seem to be suggesting you are coming up short on. If you hear them out, acknowledge it and yet disagree, then that's that (and it's been dealt with with respect and love and care.) If they have nothing, then their argument would seem to amount to nothing as well. And, of course, if they manage to make an argument that you have neglected something that strikes a chord with you, don't let pride and peer pressure from a theatre messageboard stop you from fixing it!

Just my two cents. Don't have much to go on as you know them and how they meant to come across, but hope it helps.

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Updated On: 12/14/13 at 12:04 AM

I would say if it's not harming anyone, then what's the harm? Let's say you were a sports fan who spent all weekend and several nights a week watching football, baseball, and basketball games, all year round. That would represent far more time than you spend at the theatre.

But in the intervention, did your family express the idea that your theatregoing has a negative impact on your relationship with them by taking away time they feel you should spend with them, or that it causes you to neglect other matters they deem to be important? If so, I'd say such issues would be worth addressing.

Just curious --- did they also comment on the amount of time you spend reading/posting on a theatre message board such as this one?

I don't think we're getting the full picture here. Isn't a major component of an intervention the part where the concerned parties express the ways in which your addiction has hurt them? I feel like you left that out.

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I'm curious about the "five or six times" comment. I see a lot of theater. I suspect close to or even in excess of 100 performances a year. I rarely see something more than once. There are very few shows that I have seen twice and far fewer that I have seen three times.

I agree with all the comments, but mostly with jnb9872. An intervention is a serious matter. Is there more to this story?

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I understand the passion, but I'm going to agree with Ex-Siny: working a full time AND a part time job already takes a lot of time away from your spouse/family. Add to that more time away to SEE the theater and I can see why those around you might be concerned. I'm going to guess you talk about it quite a bit as well -- which along with the time -- can be off putting to those not involved.

What do you do when you ARE home? Maybe you aren't as engaged as a spouse/family member as you suspect you are.

I'm not one to tell others how to live their lives, but brushing off family concerns doesn't seem to be the best option.

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I agree that asking us is not really key here.

But just for the record - I like to re-read books, re-watch movies and see the same shows again. I get something different out of it each time I go. I don't spend a lot of money on shows in general - I look for discounts, so I am certainly more apt to go see a show again if I win a lottery or something similar. So there's not a problem there.

That said, I agree with those above that questioned is your family really saying you are seeing too much theater or are they saying they would like to spend more time with you and you are ignoring them by going to the theater so much. If it's a like saying "my husband only watches sports and has no time for me", then I think you need to re-think.

Of course, I have no idea what your family dynamic is like (nor it is any of my business) but those were just my thoughts..

Updated On: 12/14/13 at 07:02 AM

While I have not seen 100 shows in one year, I did see Billy Elliot 20 times and as long as I am not in a financial situation, it is fine. I am not currently married so maybe your family is feeling like you do not spend enough time with them. If that is the case address that I would think. Also as someone said, do you feel like you want to see this much theater or do you need to?

Life is short and we are all mere morals. Cherish the people who are in your life and you love first and foremost. There will always be Broadway and theatre and plays and musicals.

LOL So true, Dramamama.