the best one liner??- Page 2
the best one liner??
#25re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/8/08 at 10:30pmI also like in Into the Woods when the Baker's Wife says that she does not have any children and Jack's mother turns to the audience and says "That's okay too!". It's all in the delivery though.
#26re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/8/08 at 11:29pm
Also, from Into the Woods:
"I pulled it from a maiden in a tower!"
Joanna Gleason delivers this line perfectly!
#27re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/8/08 at 11:33pm
Not one, but two, one which tops the other.
In A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, I love it when Psuedolus needs to get mare sweat for a potion. He goes wandering off stage with a cup mumbling to himself, "Where am I going to find mare sweat on a balmy day like this".
But then he tops it when he re-enters with the cup full saying, "Would you believe it? There was a mare sweating not two blocks from here."
Updated On: 9/8/08 at 11:33 PM
regnad kcin
Leading Actor Joined: 8/26/05
#28re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 12:37am"I was raised to be charming, not sincere." - Cinderella's Prince, Into the Woods. Love it and never get tired of it.
#29re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 3:45am
Witches of Eastwick:
Alex: "Why are all the good ones gay?"
and here it comes:
Jane: "He wasn't that good!"
#30re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 3:48am
Basically anything Lina Lamont says in "Singin' In The Rain."
I make more money than Calvin Coolidge... PUT TOGETHER!
and
Don? Don't you dare call him Don! I was calling him Don before you were born! I mean...
Actually, that whole show is full of great lines.
#31re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 11:47am
From Drowsy Chapersone:
Referring to the 7 continents - Antartica, please!
#32re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 11:55am
"It's not the heat, it's the humanity."
--Jeff Douglas in "Brigadoon"
blocked: logan2, Diamonds3, Hamilton22
winston89
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/18/06
#33re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 1:44pm
I think my two favorite one liners from plays are as follows.
"Genocide always seems like a good idea at the time." August:Osage County
And " If you try to shag my husband while I am still alive I will shove the art of motorcycle maintenance up your rancid little Cu**. That's a good dear."
morosco
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/10/04
#34re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 2:01pm"Poinsettias are the Bob Goulet of botany." -TRU
#35re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 2:06pm
Debra Monk (to DHP): Two murders have occurred on this stage.
Edward Hibbert (passing them, exiting Stage Right): Three if you count the integrity of Musical Theatre.
~Curtains~
~Dirty Rotten Scoundrels~
~Curtains~
~A Tale of Two Cities ~
#36re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 4:45pm"Blonde." --- Elphaba in WHAT IS THIS FEELING? in WICKED
stupidbeans
Broadway Star Joined: 8/30/08
#37re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 5:45pm"Welcome Back Suckers" I know a girl from chicago
#38re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 10:22pmFrom the national tour of Rodgers and Hammerstein's "Cinderella" with Eartha Kitt. She says to Cinderella, "What did you expect? A magic wand and a tutu. Been there, done that!"
#39re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 10:50pm
There are so many from this show but my favorite would have to be...
Two drinks a day. It doesn't work! Not when you want eleven. And not when you start shopping for wineglasses in the vase department at Bloomingdale's.
- Elaine Stritch: At Liberty
fanadu1996
Stand-by Joined: 6/14/08
#40re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 10:57pm"we have returned for we feel something heavy is going down" ~xanadu
logan0215
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/22/05
#41re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 11:39pm
Hunter:I'm nervous, all that stuff about **** this, and **** that and masturbating...
Jeff: Oh please, like your mom has never masturbated
Hunter: Oh. my. God.
nickatnight
Understudy Joined: 3/13/04
#42re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/9/08 at 11:54pm
be yourself. everyone else is taken.
-oscar wilde
#43re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/10/08 at 12:55am
My favorites:
"You two better brace yourselves for a whole lot of ugly comin' at ya from a neverending parade of stupid..." - Hairspray
"Elphie - let the little girl go... and that poor little dog DODO!"
follwed by:
"I know you don't want to hear this right now but someone has to say it... you are out of control... I mean c'mon they're just shoes... LET IT GO!" - Wicked
Updated On: 9/10/08 at 12:55 AM
#44re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/10/08 at 6:28am
That Hairspray quote's good, but you're forgetting the better one that comes right after it--
"So, you've met my mother?"
If that's just from the movie, feel free to smack me. I get confused...
#45re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/10/08 at 10:36am
I'm partial to some of the ones in Gypsy:
"After 3 husbands, it takes a lot of butter to get you back in the frying pan"
"How long is it going to take you to get used to me?"
"Why does everybody always walk out?"
"I made you"
"I was born too soon and started too late"
"What I’ve got in me I could’ve been better than all of you"
"Just trying out a few ideas you might wanna use"
"If I could’ve been, I would’ve been and that’s show business"
"God is like me, we both need outside assistance"
"Madame Rose, you are always in the middle of a sentence"
"As the Good Lord says you gotta take the rough with the smooth"
"As the Good Lord says, good riddance to bad rubbish"
"Everybody needs something impossible to for"
Some of those, I like more for Patti's delivery than the line itself.
Updated On: 9/10/08 at 10:36 AM
#46re: the best one liner??
Posted: 9/10/08 at 12:13pmSchmerg_The_Impaler, I'm not sure if that's just in the movie or not, I can't remember. But to add to yours, my favorite one from the movie comes from Tracy: "This is so afrotastic!"
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