the best one liner?? — Page 2

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#26

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/8/08 at 10:30pm

I also like in Into the Woods when the Baker's Wife says that she does not have any children and Jack's mother turns to the audience and says "That's okay too!". It's all in the delivery though.

#27

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/8/08 at 11:29pm

Also, from Into the Woods:

"I pulled it from a maiden in a tower!"

Joanna Gleason delivers this line perfectly!

#28

Not one, but two, one which tops the other.

In A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, I love it when Psuedolus needs to get mare sweat for a potion. He goes wandering off stage with a cup mumbling to himself, "Where am I going to find mare sweat on a balmy day like this".

But then he tops it when he re-enters with the cup full saying, "Would you believe it? There was a mare sweating not two blocks from here."

Updated On: 9/8/08 at 11:33 PM

#29

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 12:37am

"I was raised to be charming, not sincere." - Cinderella's Prince, Into the Woods. Love it and never get tired of it.

#30

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 3:45am

Witches of Eastwick:

Alex: "Why are all the good ones gay?"

and here it comes:

Jane: "He wasn't that good!"

Popular...You're gonna be Popuular....;)

#31

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 3:48am

Basically anything Lina Lamont says in "Singin' In The Rain."

I make more money than Calvin Coolidge... PUT TOGETHER!

and

Don? Don't you dare call him Don! I was calling him Don before you were born! I mean...

Actually, that whole show is full of great lines.

In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy

#32

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 11:47am

From Drowsy Chapersone:
Referring to the 7 continents - Antartica, please!

#33

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 11:55am

"It's not the heat, it's the humanity."

--Jeff Douglas in "Brigadoon"

"Jaws is the Citizen Kane of movies."

blocked: logan2, Diamonds3, Hamilton22

#34

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 1:44pm

I think my two favorite one liners from plays are as follows.

"Genocide always seems like a good idea at the time." August:Osage County

And " If you try to shag my husband while I am still alive I will shove the art of motorcycle maintenance up your rancid little Cu**. That's a good dear."

"If you try to shag my husband while I am still alive, I will shove the art of motorcycle maintenance up your rancid little Cu**. That's a good dear" Tom Stoppard's Rock N Roll

#35

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 2:01pm

"Poinsettias are the Bob Goulet of botany." -TRU

#36

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 2:06pm

Debra Monk (to DHP): Two murders have occurred on this stage.
Edward Hibbert (passing them, exiting Stage Right): Three if you count the integrity of Musical Theatre.
~Curtains~

<--- the set of A Midsummer Night's Dream that I was assistant stage manager for during the 2007 season at the STNJ outdoor stage.

-Dre- You must remember all the same that at the crux of every game is knowing when it's time to leave the table... And it's important to be artful in your exit. No turning back, you must accept the con is done... It was a ball, it was a blast. And it's a shame it couldn't last. But every chapter has to end, you must agree.
~Dirty Rotten Scoundrels~
There's a special kind of people known as show people. We live in a world full of dreams. Sometimes we're not too certain what's false and what's real. But we're seldom in doubt about what we feel.
~Curtains~
It is a far, far better thing I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest I go to, than I have ever known.
~A Tale of Two Cities ~

#37

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 4:45pm

"Blonde." --- Elphaba in WHAT IS THIS FEELING? in WICKED

"TO LOVE ANOTHER PERSON IS TO SEE THE FACE OF GOD"- LES MISERABLES--- "THERE'S A SPECIAL KIND OF PEOPLE KNOWN AS SHOW PEOPLE... WE'RE BORN EVERY NIGHT AT HALF HOUR CALL!"--- CURTAINS

#38

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 5:45pm

"Welcome Back Suckers" I know a girl from chicago

"And We Have A Shepherd's Pie Peppered With Actual Shepherd On Top" - Mrs. Lovett, Sweeney Todd

#39

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 10:22pm

From the national tour of Rodgers and Hammerstein's "Cinderella" with Eartha Kitt. She says to Cinderella, "What did you expect? A magic wand and a tutu. Been there, done that!"

"A coherent existance after so many years of muddle" - Desiree' Armfelt, A Little Night Music "Life keeps happening everyday, Say Yes" - 70, Girls, 70 "Life is what you do while you're waiting to die" - Zorba

#40

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 10:50pm

There are so many from this show but my favorite would have to be...

Two drinks a day. It doesn't work! Not when you want eleven. And not when you start shopping for wineglasses in the vase department at Bloomingdale's.
- Elaine Stritch: At Liberty

#41

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 10:57pm

"we have returned for we feel something heavy is going down" ~xanadu

#42

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 11:39pm

Hunter:I'm nervous, all that stuff about **** this, and **** that and masturbating...
Jeff: Oh please, like your mom has never masturbated
Hunter: Oh. my. God.

#43

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/9/08 at 11:54pm

be yourself. everyone else is taken.
-oscar wilde

#44

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/10/08 at 12:55am

My favorites:

"You two better brace yourselves for a whole lot of ugly comin' at ya from a neverending parade of stupid..." - Hairspray

"Elphie - let the little girl go... and that poor little dog DODO!"

follwed by:

"I know you don't want to hear this right now but someone has to say it... you are out of control... I mean c'mon they're just shoes... LET IT GO!" - Wicked

Updated On: 9/10/08 at 12:55 AM

#45

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/10/08 at 6:28am

That Hairspray quote's good, but you're forgetting the better one that comes right after it--

"So, you've met my mother?"

If that's just from the movie, feel free to smack me. I get confused...

In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy

#46

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/10/08 at 10:36am

I'm partial to some of the ones in Gypsy:

"After 3 husbands, it takes a lot of butter to get you back in the frying pan"

"How long is it going to take you to get used to me?"

"Why does everybody always walk out?"

"I made you"

"I was born too soon and started too late"

"What I’ve got in me I could’ve been better than all of you"

"Just trying out a few ideas you might wanna use"

"If I could’ve been, I would’ve been and that’s show business"

"God is like me, we both need outside assistance"

"Madame Rose, you are always in the middle of a sentence"

"As the Good Lord says you gotta take the rough with the smooth"

"As the Good Lord says, good riddance to bad rubbish"

"Everybody needs something impossible to for"

Some of those, I like more for Patti's delivery than the line itself.

Updated On: 9/10/08 at 10:36 AM

#47

re: the best one liner??

Posted: 9/10/08 at 12:13pm

Schmerg_The_Impaler, I'm not sure if that's just in the movie or not, I can't remember. But to add to yours, my favorite one from the movie comes from Tracy: "This is so afrotastic!"

www.tinydancer5.tumblr.com

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