Ever have someone be rude at a stage door?

So, I went to see the opening night of the first preview of The Band's Visit. I actually didn't know that Tony Shalhoub was in it at first, because when I bought tickets, I bought tickets because I have The Band's Visit film on DVD and it's a fantastic movie. I saw it years ago and fell in love with it.

The stage door was a bit of a zoo. There were people on both sides of the barricades, forming a large crowd on both sides. I was the first person on my side of the stage door barricade so he came over and signed my playbill first after finishing with the other side.

This is how the conversation went, and I'm not exaggerating:

Me: Hello!

Tony Shalhoub: (says nothing)

Me: I had no idea you were even in this show! I am a huge fan of the movie "The Band's Visit", it's one of my favorites.

Tony Shalhoub: (says nothing)

Me: I'm getting this playbill signed for my mother. She loves your acting. She watches Monk all the time. She'll be so thrilled.

Tony Shalhoub: (says nothing)

Then, I said to my husband, who was right by me: "Hey, I'm starving, let's go across the street to The Russian Vodka Room to get some food after this."

Me (to Tony): Thank you so much. You've made my mom very happy!

Tony Shalhoub: (says nothing)

So yeah, he didn't say a single word to me. But it was okay. I called my mom, talked to some of the people around me about the show, and then we headed across the street towards the Russian Vodka Room.

Tony Shalhoub must have stopped signing autographs at some point because as we were walking towards the Russian Vodka Room, Tony Shalhoub was crossing the street towards the same street that we were on, but a few feet ahead.

I didn't point him out, or pay him any mind, or anything. We were hungry and going to get food. Tony was surrounded by body guards and he was walking at a normal pace towards a restaurant by ours, and he looked over and saw us, and just darted into the restaurant, as though to avoid us, as soon as he saw us. But we weren't even going to bother him or anything, we were just a few steps away from being at the Russian Vodka Room entrance.

Anyway, I know it's silly, but now every time Monk comes on, it just doesn't feel the same anymore. I wasn't expecting much, really, but I've never had someone at a stage door just say... nothing to me, like that. Not even a hello.

Updated On: 4/18/18 at 09:26 AM

You wait six months to share this story and you do it two weeks before Tony nominations are announced? Are you the press agent for another leading actor contender by any chance?



Actors owe you NOTHING but to put on the show you paid to see. And if I had been in his shoes I would have darted away too. How does he know you're not some creepy stalker who's following him after the show. He doesn't know where you're going to eat (and if you think he heard you say it to your husband I can almost guarantee that between noise and his lack of interest he didn't).

Hey, he didn't even have to come out at all. Everything you described just about right - not by any means rude.

Also, just as a side note, the stage door for The Band's Visit was the most pleasant one I've ever waited at. Everyone - including the audience members - was sweet and patient. Everyone had lovely things to say. Tony Shalhoub was very quiet then as well, and kindly listened to what everyone had to say. (Not unlike your experience.)

The calmer the stage door, the more time performers are willing to take, I've found. Sounds like you went on a crazy night anyway. I get why he didn't hang around, let alone risk another extended fan interaction at a restaurant.

Updated On: 4/18/18 at 09:52 AM

greenifyme2 said: "He says “Oh good. We sold one ticket that day.” Totally sarcastic. And that was that."

Michael Xavier is British and he has an offbeat sense of humor. Brits tend to be more reserved in their reactions to things, while Americans are often much more effusive by comparison. He intentionally posts a lot of groan-inducing jokes on social media. I met him at the stage door for Sunset Boulevard and he was very nice; I doubt he intended to offend.

LunaEstelle said:

Anyway, I know it's silly, but now every time Monk comes on, it just doesn't feel the same anymore. I wasn't expecting much, really, but I've never had someone at a stage door just say... nothing to me, like that. Not even a hello."

We met him after an off-Broadway show he was in several years ago. He was very charming and funny. My 10 yr old nephew was a big Monk fan and I had a book from the series that Tony graciously signed for him. I mentioned my nephew's age and he said it was a good thing we didn't bring him to that show - it would have been "Mr. Monk Gets Laid". Everyone was hysterical. My nephew did get to meet him years later when we saw Lend Me a Tenor and he posed for a photo with him. Please don't judge someone by the actions on any particular night. Everyone has an off day and I am sure he didn't avoid you crossing the street but maybe after your experience it just felt that way. Just remember that actors are not obligated to stop and sign. Many don't - he did take the time so give him credit for that.

LizzieCurry said: "The rude people at the stage door tend to be the ones seeking the autographs, not signing them."

I'll cosign this! People can get really aggressive when we are all there for the same thing.

Never encountered a rude actor, perhaps quiet, but they just finished working.. I don't expect them to be all "on" at the stagedoor.

To quote the great Elsa: "Let... it...go!"

It always makes me sad to read about (and see) how stage dooring has become so much of an "event" and an expected "extension of the show" for many. It is no longer even safe for the crowds or the actors! I remember my first trip to NYC, I got to meet the whole casts of Kiss of the Spider Woman, The Goodbye Girl, Carousel, and Tommy; nobody came out "alternate doors" or anything. There were maybe two or three other people waiting at the busiest of those. In fact, the leading trio of Kiss was visibly shocked anyone was even waiting for them (and this was after the Tony sweep). Chita even sang happy birthday to me, as the trip was a present from my parents. It makes me sad that no one is able to even have much of an experience beyond an autograph because of how out of control stagedooring has become. Those experiences taught me how to interact calmly and positively with people I "fanboy" around, which was an incredibly valuable experience for my current career!

Lot666 said: "greenifyme2 said: "He says “Oh good. We sold one ticket that day.” Totally sarcastic. And that was that."

Michael Xavier is British and he has anoffbeat sense of humor. Brits tend to be more reserved in their reactions to things, whileAmericans are often much more effusive by comparison. He intentionally posts a lot of groan-inducing jokes on social media. I met him at the stage door for Sunset Boulevard and he was very nice; I doubt he intended to offend."

THIS! He is so incredibly charming in a dry-Rupert Everett type of way. Even after PRINCE OF BROADWAY, he remembered me because, and I quote, “I don’t ever see many people that are much taller than me”.

Yes, I have seen people be rude at a stage door. Anyone who feels entitled to an autograph and picture with their favorite performer, and thinks that their ticket includes personal interactions with cast members at the stage door.

I agree with all of you that actors never have to stage door and it was nice enough of him to come out but I agree with the original poster that it was a little "rude" or at least I would say odd that he said absolutely nothing to them. I know it was already very nice of him to come out and sign but if he's going to do that the least he could do is say thank you or something to his fans. Just my opinion!

BroadwayRox3588 said: "Alex M said: "I agree with all of you that actors never have to stage door and it was nice enough of him to come out but I agree with the original poster that it was a little "rude" or at least I would say odd that he said absolutely nothing to them. I know it was already very nice of him to come out and sign but if he's going to do that the least he could do is say thank you or something to his fans. Just my opinion!"

He might've been on vocal rest, though."

Very true! In that case I completely understand!