IN MY LIFE review (Thurs. 10/6/05 8pm)

[iluvtheatertrash]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 10:51am

(Full cast in, center of front row mezzanine.)

This has got to be the most... bizarre musical ever written. I am STILL quite speechless after seeing last night's performance.

I suppose one should begin with the flying, flamboyantly homosexual opera director (who, by the way, happens to be full of offensive gay jokes throughout the hour and forty minute long musical from hell) that, believe it or not, is dead and living in heaven. Winston, this angelic creature that I'm talking about, is contracted by God Almighty, The Lord, Our Savior, Allah, Whatever You Feel Like Calling Him, to write an opera - often referred to in Brooks' dreadful libretto as "God's Opera" - using humans still living on earth. And so, our story begins:

We meet Jenny and TJ. The first being a control-freak of a writer for the village voice, the latter being an aspiring rock star who just happens to have Tourettes Syndrome! His tick, if you're willing to let your brain actually believe this for a second, is to rhyme words. And the first rhyme we are introduced to is, "Fu*k, suck, duck!" (No, folks. I'm not kidding.) Anyway, moving on very quickly (because that's what happens in the show) Jenny and TJ meet, fall in love, make love and decide to move in together. Which allows us to be in on the main joke of the evening - the lemons. Whenever he is happy, TJ yells out "Lemon!" Of course, Winston is here the entire time watching and plotting.

TJ discusses the memory of his mother, who taught him how to sing. So we're treated to a flashback of his mother, a Stepford Wife in the kitchen, who randomly bursts out into an Italian operatic aria. And never really shows herself again for quite a while. (And how could I forget? The mother is African-American, the daughter is hispanic, the son is white. Talk about color-blind casting.)

Meanwhile... TJ's sister, Vera, is up in heaven with his mother. They were hit in a car accident by Jenny's best friend's, Sam, boyfriend, Nick, who was drunk but forgiven and is ALSO in heaven seeking the forgiveness of Vera. (He succeeds, folks, and then Nick and Vera go out for grape-flavored slurpees.) Vera goes to Al, a commercial-jingle-singing version of The Lord Almighty, and pleads to him to not let Winston do anything too terrible to TJ in his tragic opera.

And even still, Winston tries a series of different plot twists. Pirates swoop down on Jenny's apartment while her and TJ are making love. And then, finally, we learn TJ has a brain tumor pressing against his eye. If they operate, he could die or be left with no memory of his music. If they don't, he will die. And this, ladies and germs, is TJ's "Skeleton in the closet". And so, Winston pulls a skeleton out of the closet and proceeds to dance with it around the stage in a dance break while a few line-dancing skeletons are projected on the brick-wall of a set. To discuss the tumor, Winston sings a song with a bunch of sci-fi-like surgeons in which he proclaims, "I heard a rumor, that he's got a tumor!" (Again, I promise you that I'm not kidding!)

Well, eventually, all seems to be mended, the opera is called off, the surgery goes fine and Jenny and TJ are to be wed. Winston is hired by God (who Joe Brooks referrs to as "Al") to plan the wedding. The theme? LEMONS! An enormous cardboard lemon that fills the entire stage comes down from the sky, and the wedding takes place in front of it - all the cast in the ugliest of lemon-colored costumes and lemon-colored flowers in their hair and bouquets in hand.

Following the wedding, which "Al" congratulates Winston on, Winston declares that maybe there will be a sequel. And I, not realizing how loud I had said it, groaned, "Oh my God, no!" and got a glare from much of the audience around me.

I wish that I could say there is something brilliant about this beyond the talented cast. But, I'm afraid, I can't. Best of all is knowing that the cast is just as much ashamed of performing the show as we are of seeing it. Winston's flight mechanics failed toward the end of the show, to which he remarked, "We're in previews, folks. We're all in this together!" As funny as it is, it's a little sad to see such talented individuals stuck in such a piece of garbage.

Brooks' score has a few highlights. His lyrics are atrocious, from "I like to go out and buy Moo Shoo Pork and eat it with my hands when no one is around to see" or "My cat named Yoda". However, some of the music is hummable and there were a few moments that I'd actually like to see recorded just so that I can hear them again.

The set? Well. It's decent. It does it's job. It's, for the most part, a giant brick wall, that most of the set is projected on besides a small diner piece and a desk and Jenny's apartment. It's nothing to be wowed over, but it's nothing to really put down either.

The lighting? A sad attempt to copy the brilliant lighting of THE LIGHT IN THE PIAZZA.

The orchestra! A fantastic group of instrumentalists (although I couldn't help but wonder if the music was canned because I couldn't figure out where the pit was...) who all sound wonderful together playing, quite possibly, the most ridiculous score to ever hit Broadway.

The costumes? Besides the typical costumes of our... humans... they're all pretty ridiculous for Winston. They do the job, but that's about it.

Run, don't walk to the Music Box. Get yourself a ticket to this because I know how unbelievable it really sounds. This is an experience that no theatergoer should miss. Wait. No. Let me rephrase that. This is an experience that NO ONE should miss.

One can't help but wonder how in the hell this ever made it to Broadway, let alone to a workshop. I've never been more excited to read the reviews of our oh-so BELOVED critics. They should be the most amusing we've ever seen.

Updated On: 10/7/05 at 10:51 AM

[Chrysanthemum62001]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 11:30am

I loved your review. But, I think I'm gonna pass on this one.

[WithoutATrace]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 11:34am

you'll regret it

[iluvtheatertrash]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 11:38am

Without is right, hun. You WILL regret it.

[BobbyBubby]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 11:43am

Do they plan on making a cast recording?

[i*heart*fame]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 11:44am

I believe so.

[WithoutATrace]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 11:45am

According to Joe Brooks, yes. Let's hope this is true so we can remember these lyrics forever!

[tagiunagi]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 11:45am

Do you know where/how I can get comps?

[BobbyBubby]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 11:47am

I hope there's a cast recording too, as I'm probably going to miss this one.

I need a new flop to listen to. Though Shalt Not needs a rival.

[smartpenguin78]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 12:06pm

It seems as though there will be a cast recording, since Joe B. wants one and we all know, "Whatever Joe B. wants, Joe B. gets."

[amperage]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 3:04pm

Have there been comps at AEA?

[JohnnyJune]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 3:17pm

AEA....????? whats AEA

[liotte]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 3:23pm

Wasn't his name JT?

[tagiunagi]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 3:27pm

Where can I get comps?

[iluvtheatertrash]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 3:30pm

Eep, Liotte! Yeah. I just reversed it. Hahaha.

[dancingthrulife04]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 3:30pm

His name is JT. And, I only know this because my friend said something at the stage door, but the girl who plays Vera isn't Hispanic.

[shortydudette]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 4:52pm

Okay I have a funny story for everyone.
So my friend from my acting class comes into class one day with this script for a show she's auditioning for.
She comes in a couple weeks later, telling us she got the part.
She rehearses one of her scenes/songs with our friend Adam playing opposite her. She didn't know the name of the show yet.
I read this review, see the plot of the show and the name of the characters. "Wait, Vera? Wasn't that her character? And Winston...I think that's what Adam played..."
So yeah, that's my friend up there. And she's not hispanic. But she is INSANELY talented.

[dancingthrulife04]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 5:17pm

You're talking about Chiara Navarra, right? She has an incredible voice.

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 6:18pm

id love the cast recording just to hear chiara sing. everyone says how amazing her voice is. is there anyone you can compare her to so i have an idea of what she sounds like?

[amperage]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 7:36pm

AEA is Actors Equity

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 10/7/05 at 7:40pm

I have to see this. Have to. Just to say I saw it.

[BOYFROMOZ]

Posted: 10/8/05 at 1:09am

This lighting designer also designed Piazza.

[shortydudette]

Posted: 10/8/05 at 1:31am

Yeah, I am talking about Chiara. It's so weird to see her name written on here! Yeah, she does have an amazing voice :), our teacher makes her sing a lot in class. She's also a really sweet girl.

[chrissly]

Posted: 10/8/05 at 10:17am

Do you think the scenic designer had any sense of the irony of a GIANT LEMON decending the from flies?

[Dollypop]

Posted: 10/8/05 at 11:58am

THIS SHOW IS AN ABSOLUTE MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, as others have suggested, YOU MUST SEE IT. As my companion and I left the theater, he said to me, "We'll be talking about this one for years!" How true! We then headed to a bar for a good stiff drink. When the bartender heard what show we'd seen, he suggested we have doubles.

There are ideas onstage, but there is absolutely no focus and no real direction (that poor little girl was belting her lungs out but was given no instruction on what to do with her hands other then hold them out from her sides every times she sang--she looked like those statues of the Virgin Mary you see on front lawns in Italian neighborhoods!). This is the same little girl who darts around Heaven on a scooter when she's not meandering about dressed as a refugee from THE NUTCRACKER. Christopher J. Hanke frequently looked as though he was only two lines ahead of his character and his eyes gave him away each time. To my mind there is only one stand out performance and that's by Roberta Gumbel. Yes, she's either Hispanic or Indian and her son seems to be totally WASP, but her rendition of "Sempre Mio Rimani" is worth of an opera house, as was her acting in the flashback sequence. Truly lovely.

The Pirate Ballet is so bad it's hilarious.

The same could be said for the Skeleton Dance.

The lyrics try to be profound, but how serious can you be when one song is entitled "Life Turns on a Dime" (How pithy!) and a short time later we hear that life is "A Ride on The Wheel"? Could the composer please make up his mind about what he's trying to say? And those lyrics!!! Only Joseph Brooks could rhyme "stacks of hay" with "Judgement Day". Absolutely hideous.

Much has been said about the character of Winston, but I found he was half-developed. He's using an ineffective English accent and has an uncomfortable Michael Jackson quality about him. While others (including my companion) were enthusiatic about him, I found him to be another unfocused element of this bizarre--if not stupid--show.

Truly offensive is the character of Big Al. He's the stand-in for God. Get it? "Big Al" and "Almighty"? Only an inept composer/librettist would have the audacity of having the character of God sing songs about Volkswagons and Dr. Pepper.

Everyone should see this show, if only to learn how NOT to create a musical. It's a disaster!

Making matter worse, last night's house was spiked with many people who were either connected with the production or were family of cast members. We were seated directly in front of one such claque. They hooted and whistled and the end of songs and their effusive reaction to the show only pointed up how inane the proceedings were.

Updated On: 10/8/05 at 11:58 AM