Anthony Rapp's WITHOUT YOU: NOW WITH NEW REVIEWS- Page 2

[LariTheLoud]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 2:12pm

An official "starred" review from Kirkus. Here's a good excerpt.

http://www.kirkusreviews.com/kirkusreviews/headlines/nonfiction_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1001571806 (Most likely won't work, but I posted the link, anyway)

WITHOUT YOU
A Memoir of Love, Loss, and the Musical RENT

Author: Rapp, Anthony

Review Date: DECEMBER 01, 2005
Publisher:Simon & Schuster
Pages: 320
Price (hardback): $25.00
Publication Date: 2/7/2006 0:00:00

A star is assigned to books of unusual merit, determined by the editors of Kirkus Reviews.

A moving, absorbing journal of life on stage and at home.

A young (early 30s) veteran of stage (Rent) and screen (Adventures in Babysitting; A Beautiful Mind; the upcoming film adaptation of Rent), Rapp here makes an impressive debut as a writer, bringing a keen actor's sense of detail, timing and pathos to the page. He opens with vivid descriptions of auditions, workshops and early performances of the musical Rent, with which he had become involved as an actor soon after its inception. His production log gaining momentum, he shifts abruptly yet skillfully to home in Joliet, Ill., where doctors discover a malignant tumor growing on his mother's adrenal gland. Narratives entwine as Rapp reveals how his mother's heartbreaking demise, his work in a major musical hit and his turbulent relationships with four men eventually, if painfully, empower his acting and enrich his life. ...

... Clearly, mother and son had forged a bond after the mother divorced and as her son found work as a young actor. Still, their relationship remained tendentious, especially over the issue of Rapp's homosexuality. Flying home on days off from Rent, Rapp eventually establishes touching rapport with his gravely ill mother. Writing with painful sensitivity of a final, wrenching farewell as he confronts her lifeless body, he reaches a deep, affecting level of personal expression.

A hit.

Congratulations, Anthony!

Full review to come tomorrow. I think. Unless they believe that November 30th constitutes December 1st.

EDIT: Or maybe not. If there is a more extensive review, I'll be sure to post it, but I don't think so anymore. XD

Updated On: 11/30/05 at 02:12 PM

[Fantabulous428]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 2:14pm

yay! Congrats Anthony!

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 2:16pm

whee, congratulations!

[xoxRogue]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 2:22pm

Congratulations Anthony!

[Bohemian1232]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 2:51pm

This is so exciting! Congratulations Anthony!!

[kates422]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 2:52pm

Congrats, Anthony! I really cannot wait to read the book. It sounds amazing.

[LariTheLoud]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 4:32pm

Hm... I guess it IS the full review. I thought it'd be longer.

Awesome, nonetheless. *edits the above post*

[Fantabulous428]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 4:34pm

I'm confused. Is that the whole review?

[LariTheLoud]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 4:35pm

I cut out like, three sentences it to make it an exerpt. It SAID the review was to be published tomorrow, but... Um... I guess that's it? XD THE SITE CONFUSES ME OMFG.

Sorry.

[dmb_rent]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 4:44pm

Cannot.

Wait.

[caitiesus1522]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 4:45pm

congrats anthony! And thank you Lari for your review...I can tell that reading this book is going to be quite an experience and I look forward to it. Being able to open oneself up like he has must have been hard and my respect for him has increased even more (if that is possible)

[Mandi Moo]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 5:14pm

That's great! And, as everyone else has said, I can't wait to read it.

[elphatine]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 5:45pm

YAAAAAY! Major congratulations aer in order, Anthony!

Ohmygoddd, Lari, thank you so much for posting that. If only reading that almost made me cry, I can't wait to see what this book will do to me. I think this deserves a SQUEEEEEEEEE!

[LariTheLoud]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 8:58pm

No problem, everyone. I'm keeping on top of this stuff.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 9:15pm

*reads!*

[LariTheLoud]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 9:21pm

WOAH I WAS SO CONFUSED someone moved it.

No big. XD

[rowers unite]

Posted: 11/30/05 at 10:44pm

congrats, i cant wait until 2/16

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 12/1/05 at 3:39am

Well, I just finished. Six minutes over my estimated time. I said a bit ago that I emote, while others analyze and evaluate. So my eyes are kind of red, and my throat has a lump in it -- but so goes the mind of the emotional.

Anthony and I were talking about this book about a month ago, and he was telling me that it was odd, because this book was him -- it was his thoughts and his feelings -- but yet it wasn't him; it was some other, tangible object, outside of himself that he could send away -- that other people could take up. What a strange notion, he told me. A piece of yourself. In this book.

While doing Rent and losing Jonathan and losing his mother are all intertwined, for some reason I feel for them very separately.

Of Rent, I learned things that I never knew: that Seasons of Love is supposed to be at Angel's funeral, and from there we look *back* on the year leading up to it. Something so simple that I never picked up on. It's not the only thing, but what's more important is that I'm hearing about this all from someone who was there, and who experienced it in this most direct way possible -- who has a truly direct connection to it and a love for it. It's in his bones. And to hear what he felt about it -- perfectly, beautifully articulated -- often what we ourselves feel toward this work speaks volumes for its resonance and power. But it's also jarring. He nails those descriptions of things I think a lot of Rent fans long to be able to explain and put into words. He taps straight into the emotion. It's like you're right there with him at that workshop, or the first rehearsal. Right there witnessing something that's going to be hugely explosive. As though, retroactively, you're in on the secret. So much of the original stuff from the show ('94 NYTW) is messy, but so much of it is also darker and dirtier and more painful than "our" version of Rent turned out to be. I don't want to spoil anything for those who have never heard the NYTW recordings, or read the lyrics, though. The ones that stayed, though, these are lyrics and notes of music that have taken a huge presence in my life -- and having them there on paper, as if I were present is an imagined trip to behold; I wish I could've seen this stuff early on.

The book is raw and emotional. Intensely so. Intensely personal. I think that people who read this are going to feel a tumultous lot of things: I think they'll feel like they know Anthony very well after they're through -- and in some cases, they may feel as though they know things they never wanted to know -- things quite private, and less-than-glamorous, and things that may cause some feelings of discomfort; in a way, you feel like you're prying -- yet he's put it out there, in your hands. But to me, that's perfect; Anthony's connection to his fans, as he explains in the book is because he doesn't want to be inaccessible.

In that vein, the thing that's strangest to me, on a very personal level, is that many of the people in this book are people who are real to me -- people who are in my life, to some very small degree. People I've spent time around are actually in a book. A minor detail, perhaps, but it's mind-boggling, really. But like I suspect a lot of Rent fans will do, I loved a lot of that -- looks at their personalities, and very deeply emotional moments with them, along with descriptions that you *know* are true, and can even make you giggle.

You laugh. You cry. You actively feel -- I rarely do that when I read. Maybe it's because this is someone putting himself out there, his emotions on the line, who has let me connect with him -- it's not some untouchable megastar, or someone I could care less about, or someone ficticious. When you read a book, yes, you can find it to be a happy story, or a sad story -- and you can recognize the emotional thrust of a story -- but that's nothing like this. I read this, and it's someone I've connected to on whatever of a personal level it may be. And that puts it all the more at a very oddly painful place.

As for the element of Jonathan's death, I'm going to copy something I posted earlier in the day, while I was reading that section:

I don't want to spoil what's in the book, but then again -- you all KNOW the story. It's just like... you can't read something like this without wanting to talk to someone about it like every other paragraph.

I know I've said a few times that I never really *felt* sad about Jonathan's death until very recently. It's hard to verbalize this, but I was always like "oh, that's terrible," etc, etc, but I never had a tangible *feeling* of being sad. Now I do. For a lot of reasons.

So now I'm up to the part where they're all at the theatre just after getting the news, and I'm sitting here reading this, having trouble doing so. Daphne talks about this idea of doing what you have to do, and then just being gone. And I think about what Tracie said at the Q&A last week: that so many artists are like "I'm gonna change the world, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna make a difference." And Jonathan did. He actually did.

I was just talking to my roommate about this, and then gave up when my lips started trembling. But this idea of doing what you're here to do and then just being gone. It's weird. It's almost unfair, this notion that Jonathan put this piece into the world, and just left it to take on its own life and to take off and fly. It never really has before, but that kills me.

I think it's all in the similar vein of feeling lately a very, very strong connection to this all.

In any event, the structure of the book is fantastically put together; it's fairly chronological, but weaved into the linear-ness of the story are anecdotal flashbacks. They work well, and provide a lot of extra depth. It's a gift, the way Rent works itself in; and none of it is a stretch. It's a true testament to the power and resonance and the applicability of the lyrics -- and they too weave themselves in and out of the narrative.

And if that were not enough raw emotion for you, obviously, the focus of the book is on Anthony's loss of his mother, and her long, hard battle with cancer. I think in short, what I took from it was something of a "I live this moment as my last..." notion: while I was reading, I wanted to tell everybody in my life that I love that I do so -- because you never know when you're last chance would be. I wanted to appologize to people I've hurt, leave nothing unsaid, unsettled, unFIXED. I think, on this note, what's so admirable about what Anthony has done is that because people care for him by virtue of connection to his work, they're going to take to heart what he says -- the guilt and pain and anguish he describes -- and it's going to cause them to re-evaluate things they've done wrong and regret, and to think about things they may not have considered before. The permanency of death. How you're going to or supposed to handle these things. What on EARTH you're going to do when someone you love is suddenly not there anymore; when you can't just turn around and pick up the phone to tell them something.

Anthony's not afraid to tell the truth. To be up-front and honest, and critical, clearly making it so this isn't just a book you pick up for kicks. I think I described it earlier today as somewhat cathartic. You *will* find something of your own life in this, whether or not you've ever experienced a significant loss. It's going to hit you with a huge, powerful force.

So, there's my non-cohesive, probably very repetitive, 3:30 in the morning pocket change. I'll probably add more random things here and there to it after I sleep some.

I hope people love this book; Anthony's a greatly, greatly gifted writer, and he's given us something very special.

edited to add something sort of random -- the book's post-script deals with coming full circle, and filming Rent. Anthony describes this bitterly cold night in NYC. I was reading, and thought "I remember that little electrical car...." and then read WHERE this was located, and what he was singing. I realized that I was there that night. I saw that happen. That was kind of cool.

Updated On: 12/1/05 at 03:39 AM

[StageWhore]

Posted: 12/1/05 at 4:42am

Thank you so much for that. I'm so anxious to read this. So glad it comes out right before my birthday.
BTW, you're rather eloquent yourself.

[LariTheLoud]

Posted: 12/1/05 at 8:32am

Thank you, Emcee, for backing up what I said and articulating what I couldn't.

SO glad you enjoyed it as much as me!

Updated On: 12/1/05 at 08:32 AM

[Fantabulous428]

Posted: 12/1/05 at 9:13am

thanks for the review Emcee...only building anticipation over here!

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 12/1/05 at 11:40am

Thanks, StageWhore.

I'm just glad that what I said made some sense!

[Bohemian1232]

Posted: 12/1/05 at 11:53am

I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for this book. Emcee, your review was great. I'm so happy that the two of you enjoyed this book so much.

[TheatreDiva612]

Posted: 12/1/05 at 12:29pm

awesome review, em : )

[xoxRogue]

Posted: 12/1/05 at 12:41pm

Em, terrific review. I think I'll just have to reread it again. I did the same wit Lari's.

And you used my favorite word, tangible.