"Grandma was a bitch!"
She wasn't a bitch, she was a crank. There's a difference. A bitch does things to be spitefully mean, a crank does things because they are tired.
Look at it from Grandma's point of view. She figures after a lifetime of washing Grandpa's long johns by hand and getting up at 5:00 AM every morning to collect the eggs and fix breakfast, she's due a bit of rest and relaxation. And what does she get? She has to scrimp because it's the Depression and has to live in the same house with her noisy grandchildren. And none of the grandchildren are going to be of any use to her in her old age. John-Boy is always locked in his room writing, Jason plays piano in a roadhouse, Ben married a rich girl, Jim-Bob is a grease monkey and will never get married, Mary Ellen is ugly, Erin is a priss and Elizabeth is a baby. Poor Grandma can't even go to church with this horde following her. And those two drunk Baldwin sisters, who Grandma went to grade school with, live all alone in that big, fancy, quiet house and get to drive their car wherever they feel like and are having the time of their life in their old age.
Don't be hard on Grandma, life hasn't treated her well.
If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
Updated On: 7/15/05 at 05:56 PM