Queer Misogyny- Page 5
Queer Misogyny
#100queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 1:26pm
jane, I think you might have taken the reaction of some campy queens WAY too seriously. I guess the "ew gross" factor is a bit of a backlash for all those times we gay boys have been in a theater and hear the reaction when two men kiss or even show a moment of tenderness. Payback's a bitch. And there are plenty of women who are just as homophobic as men. Paging Miss Schlafly! Just last night we went to see Susie Essman at Caroline's and a group of drunked straight women looked at us, asid "those guys are gay!" and erupted into hysterical laughter. So while most of the ladies on the BWW are very cool and gay-friendly, it is not the way of the world, kids.
Women shouldn't feel betrayed by some knee-jerk reaction to labia, but I think that gay guys just don't want women to turn on that switch, because I'd bet we all have a girl in our past or present that has fallen for us and although we might have emotional feelings for her as well, we can't reciprocate the attraction. Just like gay-friendly straight guys have when we get a cruch on one of them. They don't want to "lead us on" so they make sure that they don't ever make any overtures that could be misinterpreted. Now puking when you see a clitoris is an extreme granted, but its roots are all very human.
#101queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 1:35pm
but I think that gay guys just don't want women to turn on that switch, because I'd bet we all have a girl in our past or present that has fallen for us and although we might have emotional feelings for her as well, we can't reciprocate the attraction.
Lildogs, you said a mouthful.
#103queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 1:43pm
What is the difference if SOME gay guys say ew to a bagina and a lesbian saying ew to a penis. Both points are valid. I dont want to go downtown any more than some dont want to "pet my monkey", and it is only the maturity of the person that decides how they want to express that sentiment.
and the reaction of straight people to gay sex? Well, the nasty words will fly then wont they.
"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS
#104queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 1:47pm
RobbO, as one who has spent more than his fair share of time in lesbian bars (see my Grace comment above), I've noticed that they seem to attract the creepiest of straight men who come in looking for a little titillation. So I never take it personally when I'm made to feel unwelcome in some, although certainly not all, lesbian bars.
I try to tell my Grace that the women will be much less likely to pay attention to her with me hanging around, but alas...
#105queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 1:49pm
I was out on an errand, but thanks for the responses everyone.
Here's the point of my post-I really am not as upset about the reaction of some of my friends. -That yech reaction was probably how they really felt about what they saw.
HOWEVER-I'm pointing out that they should have kept it to themselves instead of carrying on that way. I think we're all repulsed by things other people have, or do, but we keep it inside so as not to offend.
I posted that for any gay men who might think it's funny and don't realize how they may be hurting someone.
#106queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 1:51pm
But that's MY point, Jane: they really didn't mean to offend, so you should say something to them, gently or however you wish to make the point, to let them know it hurts your feelings to any varying degree when they, by implication, seem to make you feel less about yourself because you carry the female parts.
#107queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 1:52pm
By the way, Jane -- If we're ever on a subway together, and I react negatively to a straight couple making out next to us, it has nothing to do with gender. I just hate that smacky sound.
At least, whenever it doesn't involve me. 
#108queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 1:53pmOh, I know they didn't mean to offend-they had no idea. I think at the time I may have said in mock anger that I was insulted. Again, I'm only mentioning it for the sake of anyone reading it that they may understand for the future if it ever comes up.
#109queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 1:54pm
Calvin, let's just make out on the subway next to all them thar heteros.
Smacking sounds are optional.
#111queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 1:54pmNot to be a downer or to stop this really important conversation, but my best female friend has terminal cancer and is currently in and out of consciousness and won't be with us for much longer. Not that she ever has or would, but I'd give anything to hear her call me faggot, homo, queer, sissy, or nancy-pants.
kissmycookie
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/21/04
#112queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 1:56pmPrayers and good thoughts to her SOMMS, and yourself as well.
iflitifloat
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/10/03
#113queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 1:56pm
I think we can overanalyze. As I mentioned earlier, I'm not necessarily offended when something is said by a friend with whom there mutual understanding of where each person comes from. It's all about context and knowing who your "audience" is and how what is said will be taken.
#114queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 1:59pm
never mind guys. Sorry I mentioned the whole thing, really!
Let's carry on with the fun!
#115queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 2:01pmOh SOMMS...prayers all around.
"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS
#116queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 2:05pm
Then, Iflit, I think the whole point of this thread might be moot if we all accept the context argument.
My sympathies and thoughts are with you, SOMMS, and your friends.
#117queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 2:05pmThanks. Sorry I did that. Keep the conversation flowing! It's a great topic.
#118queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 2:08pm
"I think we can overanalyze."
This should be the BWW campaign slogan.
PS: "Lildogs, you said a mouthful."--the amazing thing is, I said that WITH MY MOUTH FULL! How weird is that?
Updated On: 5/12/06 at 02:08 PM
robbiej
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/20/03
#119queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 2:11pm
Well...I don't think anyone should apologize for any of their responses here at all. I think it's actually a very interesting discussion...one that can actually handle deep insights and pithy quips. Isn't that the way life should be, anyway?
The thing I've been thinking about a lot lately is response to situations. A friend lost his dad recently and was going through it and kept apologizing for feelings, saying things like, 'I know people go through this all the time. Other people are in pain, too. I shouldn't complain.' I finally had to let him know that though, yes, others experience loss, his pain is special. Why? Because it's his. So we can look at Jane's emotional response to this event from the outside and say, 'Well I've felt this' or 'That's not so bad' and try to be all rational about this. But her response wasn't rational...it was emotional. And it's perfectly valid.
Someone being offended by the word c*nt is also perfectly valid. That doesn't necessarily mean I'll stop using the word entirely. I know my intentions and what I mean by it. But I also have to accept the responsibility that comes with using that (or any other) loaded word. And if I offend, I will certainly apologize. Not because what I did was 'wrong'...but because my action caused an unintentional, negative response.
nomdeplume
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/20/05
#120queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 2:11pm
Bon courage, SOMMS, as the French say.
The point of this thread is not mooted or made of less importance by any one idea or context that is raised within it.
#121queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 2:12pm
I think we can overanalyze."
This should be the BWW campaign slogan.
What exactly did you mean by that, lildogs? 
Updated On: 5/12/06 at 02:12 PM
#122queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 2:12pmOftimes people use that word BECAUSE they know how much it pisses off the females. It's a nucular option as GW would say.
JMVR
Featured Actor Joined: 3/26/04
#124queer misogyny
Posted: 5/12/06 at 2:15pm
What annoys me the MOST is gay men and lesbians who jsut can't stand being with each other. This would seem to me like a natural alliance. I am gay and my best friend is a lesbian and it's wonderful, yet most gay guys I've met are constanly calling her derogatory names behind her back and saying they don't want to hang out with "the lesbians" (they don't even use their name). Usually, the nellier the gay guy, the meaner he will be to lesbians is my experience, and vice versa.
Oddly enough, I have lived in a few other countries and nowhere is the gay community so gender-divided as it is in the U.S. It's as if gay men and women are so unable to find out who they are, that they feel threatened if they are forced to interact with the oppostie sez, beacuse they are afraid of challenging their own gay identitiy or something like that . . . I don';t know it just makes no sense to me that we are so divided when we need to stick together now more than ever!!
Sorry if thread-jack!
Videos