Why Do Some Gay Men Want to Out Other Gay Men?- Page 2

[muscle23ftl]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:43am

Sueleen, come out and reveal that you are a gay man and not a woman.

*His/her profile used to say "female"*

Updated On: 4/11/07 at 12:43 AM

[MatthewAddison]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:45am

Sueleen IS a gay man. Or have I just been living under a rock for the past three years?

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:45am

I am as gay as they come.

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:46am

"Nom, if your Husband is gay would you want him to stay in the closet? Or your Father? Or your Son?"

I don't think I could make the decision for them. What I would want is for them to make the decision themselves whichever they thought was the best, and I expect I would support that decision unless I thought they were harming themself or another and then I would tell them that and ask them to consider it.

If it was a spouse I can't see remaining married.
Updated On: 4/11/07 at 12:46 AM

[MatthewAddison]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:46am

PJ, Kringas and I have something in common.

[Kringas]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:47am

I outed a guy in college once because he cheated on me with my best friend and then denied having sex with me. I guess my reason was spite. I'm just a vicious gay, though.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:49am

He had it coming. He had it coming.

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:50am

"I outed a guy in college once because he cheated on me with my best friend and then denied having sex with me."

Was your best friend a guy, Kringas? Because if so, you didn't out him, unless you told a third party.
Updated On: 4/11/07 at 12:50 AM

[MatthewAddison]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:50am

"For those who are gay folk on here, would you ever take responsibility on yourself to out another gay who was not out? "

I wouldn't (now).

However TO that person, and TO that person only I would be very honest with the fact I feel they are gay, and I'm always open to talking if they want. Talking, cuddling, going to discrete locations after hours, whatever they need.

[Kringas]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:50am

He so did have it comin'! Man, he was such a dick, but I think he was the best kisser I ever kissed. Josh Kelley, you ruined these lips for other men.

See! I outed him again!

Updated On: 4/11/07 at 12:50 AM

[MatthewAddison]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:52am

Guys named Josh are hot. Well, most of 'em.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:52am

Omigod!!!!! Omigod!!!!! Omigod!!!!!

THIS Josh Kelly?!?

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:57am

I think outing people is generally not a good idea, not smart and not ethical.

And claiming a straight man is homosexual can still be a lawsuit for slander.

[Kringas]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:57am

No, but I almost shat a brick the day I heard of that singer. For a horrifying split second I thought it was going to be him (it wouldn't have been that illogical) and I decided then and there that if it was him and he wasn't out I'd out him again!

[Kringas]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 12:58am

And claiming a straight man is homosexual can still be a lawsuit for slander.

That's appalling. That's like suing for slander because you're a blonde and someone called you a brunette.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 1:01am

Nom, put down the bottle, turn off the computer and call your sponser. NOW!

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 1:01am

In some ways it is out-of-date, in others not.

It could hurt a guy's dating and marriage prospects if he's straight and it shys off women who don't want to risk a man who could be unfaithful for that reason.

[MatthewAddison]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 1:01am

Exactly. How is "homosexual" slander or malice?

Homosexual is not a negative term. Unless you're a bigot and use it to demean someone.

ETA: So you can sue someone for "slander" if you're not gettin' some? Hmm...well I need to find someone to slap a lawsuit on because I'm dry as a bone. Updated On: 4/11/07 at 01:01 AM

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 1:04am

On second thought, keep drinking and posting. This is getting good.

[MatthewAddison]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 1:05am

Sueleen, what that slander?

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 1:06am

Calling someone "gay" would only be slander in a state where sodomy is a crime, just as calling them a bankrobber, a cocaine addict or an income-tax cheat would be slanderous.

The slander would be accusing that person of a criminal act.

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 1:09am

Putting someone in a false light that could cause or causes them some loss is what's at the root of it.

The law hasn't caught up to have some contrasting law where someone who is publically acknowledged to be gay is outed to be actually straight. That would be a new one.

[sondheimboy2]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 1:09am

There are two different ways of looking at this question:

First of all, not every person is ready to come out at the same time. Me for example. Even though, as a child, I liked Ken much more than I liked Barbie (loved her clothes, though), I didn't "come out" until I was in my mid '30's. And those who came out while they were still in kindergarten should not look down upon those who didn't come out until they were my age. People will come out when they are ready to and not a moment before.

Coming out has made my life much easier and much more difficult, at the same time. On the one hand, I can finally be myself. On the other, I can now be discriminated against and denied rights that straight people have.

The second way of looking at your question is that hypocracy is a detestable thing. When you see someone having all the fun that can be had by being gay, but not willing to pay the price that the rest of us are paying.

Now, I don't mind it so much when the person is an actor. Even though there are a lot of gays in the entertainment industry, there are a lot of supposedly intelligent people in the industry who think that if you are gay, then you can't play straight. And unless you are an incredible talent like Cherry Jones, who has proven that she can play anything, you can very well find your career consists of Gay ghetto roles.

(On a slight side note, I am very interested in watching the career of Cheyene Jackson. Here is a very talented man who is gorgeous and why he hasn't been snatched up by the movies and television is beyond me. Is it because he's out? I don't know. But I wonder...)

It is important for gay men to come out. I went to an audition recently with a bunch of college age people. A couple of good looking guys were talking about getting hit on my gay guys that they've done show with. One said how a gay guy told him that straight guys can't act. He said that he replied by telling hime that Dustin Hoffman and Robert DeNiro and straight and who are the gay actors? "Ian McKellan and the guys from "Will & Grace" and, oh, wait, those two aren't gay!!!"

Listening to that I thought: a) You're an idiot, b) If a gay guy hit on you, he was slumming because you're not that good looking, and c) It is so important for gay actors to come out. If only to shut up jerks like him.

[Kringas]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 1:11am

What's criminal is being single in one's thirties. Is there someone I can sue for that?

[MatthewAddison]

Posted: 4/11/07 at 1:14am

If my future looks like yours Kringas, I hope there's a Right-to-Death law in my state.