A little math for ya: PHANTOM = CRAPTASTIC — Page 2

robbie my dear - you make me pee. damn you!
mr. brantley needs to watch his back before you steal his job!!

as snoop dogg would say, "fo sheezy"...or something

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I couldn't disagree more with your review. It just seems like you went in WANTING to hate it and already thought it would be bad. It is by no means a bad movie - it is a flawed movie, almost tragically so, but it still captured me - something the now tired stage production has always failed to do. And you ask why Miranda Richardson was using a French accent...if you have to ask that, maybe you really don't know this show as well as you think you do.

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Well, Hugh Panaro can sing AND he has a pretty face.

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Oh Munk.

How little you know me. I turned to my co-worker yesterday and said, 'I think the critics went after this...and probably unfairly.'

Though I wasn't expecting a masterpiece (not a huge fan of the piece...but thought the production on Broadway was rather lovely and gothic), I certainly wasn't expecting to be insulted. As someone who has dedicated his life to this arcane art form, perhaps my standards are too high. BUT requiring that the principals in this movie at least be able to sing the score properly is not asking too much, is it? I would also like dramatic tension and, in this case, melodrama.

If it's sentimental and overblown, then embrace that and fill the movie with large emotions. Don't encourage your actors to scale back so much that barely any emotions are registered.

Regarding not knowing why Mme. Giry would have a French accent, I never once claimed to know the show all that well. I've seen it twice and played the cast album quite a bit when I was younger. I was actually surprised by how much of the score I still remembered. So, Munk, please...tell us why she's the only one in the movie with a French accent.

WAIT...another thing.

When one is brought in to audition for the role of the Phantom in the stage production, you are asked to sing two specific pieces: "I have brought you..." right before 'Music of the Night' and "I gave you my music..." right before the end of the first act. They are the hardest pieces of music to negotiate because of where they lie. But where they lie is incredibly important to the emotional life of the character. Imagine my annoyance when I noticed that these two very important passages were lowered for Mr. Butler.

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I propose several drinking games for the Phantom Film:

A) Everytime Emmy Rossum looks like a deer in headlights, drink.

B) Everytime a random midget appears on scene for no apparent reason, drink.

C) Everytime you'd prefer to be spending $100 on orchestra seats to the tired Broadway production, drink.

D) Everytime you hear someone in the theater whisper "I told you we should have seen Meet The Fockers!" drink.

E) Everytime you realize the phantom is not actually hideous under the mask and they clearly only made him up for the final scene, drink.

F) Everytime you yearn for at least a casting choice that could turn this into at the very least, a camp classic (a la Melanie Griffith as Fermin), drink.

G) Everytime you cannot hold in a giggle during "Phantom of the Opera," drink.

H) Every time you are forced to text message a friend about how bad the film is, DURING the film, drink.

I) am done...I bet we could come up with I-Z, come on kids, let's get creative...we all need more drinking games and I think with a little work we could pull off the whole alphabet for this one!

Robbie:

I wasn't getting nasty with you, if that's how it came off. In the past I have avoided you because of some uncalled for bitter things you have said to me, for no reason. In this case, I enjoyed reading your review and you certainly do have a lovely way of putting your thoughts into words. It's nice to read a review on here that is actually comprehensible. Although it was a great review, I don't agree with most of it, as I said. For me, whenever I have seen the stage production, despite how close to the stage I sit, the whole show seems very unattainable. It's not a very welcoming show - as an audience member, I have always felt left out and excluded from what's goin on onstage. I think maybe it's because of the bare-bones set used in some scenes that now look extremely dated, decorated with the actors standing around it on stage. It just never, ever captured me. It never haunted me, it never broke my heart, and I have never cared about a single thing that happened to any of the characters. With that said, going into the movie I was not at all a fan of the show. I think it has some beautiful melodies and wonderful individual moments, but the whole show always seemed choppy. The first 15 minutes of the movie, I thought, were remarkable. When the color changes from B&W to Color as the Chandelier rises and the Overture deafens you, it definitely gave me chills and pulled me in from the very start. From "Angel of Music" through "The Music of the Night" I was bored out of my mind, and I think they were terribly "staged" and filmed. After that, I was really engaged in the film.

Now the cast. From hearing the CD before the movie came out I was very disappointed and quite angry about their voices - Emmy and Gerard. Patrick's voice is perfect for the role. Their voices aren't something I can listen to on a soundtrack - they're just not that good. But in the movie, they work quite nicely. I wish Emmy wasn't so breathy through the whole thing, and I would hardly call her amazing, or even great - but it didn't bother me. As skeptical as I was about Gerard's voice going into it, I could not have enjoyed him more. I thought his performance in this movie was so touching and gentle. You see every side to the phantom - you can actually see how loving and amazing a man he can be, then you can see how evil and nasty he can be - something the stage production never showed me. I've always disliked the Phantom and hated the moments he was onstage on Broadway because he was so annoying to me. In this movie, although the material hasn't changed, I loved the notion that the Phantom is actually a very VERY attractive guy. I could see why Christine might be so interested in him - he looked beautiful. I thought his voice was perfect for the movie - anything too operetic or "broadway" would have annoyed me. I really really really loved his interpretation, and now I can't really listen to Crawford on the recording because he just annoys me - as a performer, he's ALWAYS annoyed me. So maybe it's a personal thing, who knows.

As far as Mdme. Giry having a French accent, I took it as if she were the only one that truly grew up in France. Everyone else in the movie is from somewhere else in Europe, so they wouldn't have French accents, including Christine and the theatre owners. After thinking about it, my theory is slighly invalid because her daughter Meg would also have a french accent, as should the Phantom if he grew up with Mdme. Giry IN the opera house. I forgot about that fact, so I would say you're right - it doesn't make sense that she's the only one with a French accent. I think they tried to make her a stereotypical French ballet teacher and didn't really think about the reasoning. She doesn't have an accent on Broadway, does she?

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Munk,

I appreciate your response and understand that many times, tone is difficult to interpret on a message board...as we all have come to find out one way or another.

As for the French accent thing, I'm stumped by it. If not everyone's going to use one, then I say leave it out. And for some reason, I believe the original Mme. Giry on Broadway did use one...either that or just the woman on the London recording (who could have been French, for all I knew).

Rossum's voice, I believe, doesn't work in the film because the audience reaction shown is incomprehensible. It's on pitch but wan and an opera audience would not have leapt to its feet after the lackluster 'Think of Me'.

As for a handsome Phantom, I say go right ahead. But you have to make his deformity a little bit more intense than a bad case of excema and a few gray hairs to justify his psychosis. I've seen people on the subway with worse facial irregularities than what was in that movie.

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"Think of Me" would never be a song in any opera in the first place.

I have to agree with VivaDiva but I do think jrbactor is right too. I don't think you can label Hugh and the rest of the current broadway cast as "unpretty".

DBilly--doesn't count! you are just a lush! ;P

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Flasks are so de classe...

I'm in!

Make mine an Absolut Peppar dirty martini, very dry...oh, and thanks for the compliment!

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Updated On: 12/28/04 at 04:28 PM

Don't see the movie! Spend your money on something more entertaining, like a co-payment for a dental appointment.

Or how about this:

If you have taste, stay the f*ck away!!!!

Note: I know some of you like it and some of that some actually have taste. We'll just consider it temporary insanity.

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