Great post Sweetlips! I agree, we all have stories like this. The things I experienced are quite similar and I feel that it doesn't have anything to do with who I am today.
If anything, I found it interesting to experience as much as possible and even though some things turned out to not really suit me, or I even disliked some situations, I found it interesting to learn about it. I've always been able to see things in perspective and be discrete about it. In some cases I found it interesting to see what that person's interests were, even if it turned out to be not my cup of tea, in other cases I just liked to check things out and expand my boundaries. In other cases I just went with the flow and later realized how naughty something was, and looked back on it with a grin, even if I knew I had no particular interest in doing it again.
Of course I knew I could report people or be indiscrete, but I never felt that need. These fun secrets were all about discovering, and I am actually grateful for all the experiences. I feel that people go into the victim role way too quickly. It's almost like they are shocked by anything that is uncomfortable.
People should be able to be less uptight and not try to erase everything and everyone that has ever made them feel uncomfortable. I know a lot of people can't understand this, but in most of these cases it is just a game of exploring desires, boundaries, mutual interests, and learning about what you like and do not like and how far you are willing to go. It's really what all interactions in life are about. When that teacher or married neighbour woman wanted to give me a bj, I had no particular interest either, but I did not mentally collapse either. And if there would be something beneficial in it for me, I will be honest enough to admit that I don't rule out anything. I also kind of like the fact how open they were about their desires, it does show some kind of adventurous character.
In the case of Anthony Rapp, it was not like there was sex or anything. He made an advance. Every 14 year old gay boy receives advances from adults. When I was 14 I received advances from granny's to gay men to married women to teachers. I disliked some advances and I liked some. I have never reported any of them. I also wonder if he never received any other advances and how he dealt with them? I also wonder what impact it could have as these advances are part of about every teenager's life. I also wonder why he did not speak to him personally so many years later (if he was so devastated about the advance), but made it public by stating "it is hard to see him having so much success" while he made advance to me 40 years ago. I also wonder if Rapp would have been one of the worlds most celebrated actors, and Spacey would have been a relatively unknown, if Rapps need would have been as big. In many cases people's boundaries are flexible.
Take the Weinstein case for example. No doubt that he is a naughty boy. But I know very many naughty actresses too, with very special interests and flexible boundaries with different outcomes, depending if they got what they wanted or not.
It's not black or white. It's grey in 99% of the cases. And I do think that people overreact a lot. Being uncomfortable is nothing more than a learning experience. If you can't get over the fact that someone makes and advance or someone shows interest in having sex with you but you don't, there is something wrong with you. And yes, if the other one crosses lines there is something wrong with that person too.
But the "I was just unsuspectingly sitting in Harvey Weinstein's hotel bathroom, with my panties down and my skirt up, with a glass of champagne in my hand, and suddenly he made a sexual advance!" Is kind of grey too.
Updated On: 7/8/18 at 07:25 AM
