Best In-Show Insults?
Best In-Show Insults?
#1Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 9:33pm
I was very disappointed to see that the "Best Insults" thread isn't about insults from plays or musicals. So - some of your favorites?
I think I'm going with, "If you existed, I'd divorce you."
I know you.
I know you.
I know you.
#2Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 9:42pmYou're about as sexy as a wet cardboard box..
"You can't overrate Bernadette Peters. She is such a genius. There's a moment in "Too Many Mornings" and Bernadette doing 'I wore green the last time' - It's a voice that is just already given up - it is so sorrowful. Tragic. You can see from that moment the show is going to be headed into such dark territory and it hinges on this tiny throwaway moment of the voice." - Ben Brantley (2022)
"Bernadette's whole, stunning performance [as Rose in Gypsy] galvanized the actors capable of letting loose with her. Bernadette's Rose did take its rightful place, but too late, and unseen by too many who should have seen it" Arthur Laurents (2009)
"Sondheim's own favorite star performances? [Bernadette] Peters in ''Sunday in the Park,'' Lansbury in ''Sweeney Todd'' and ''obviously, Ethel was thrilling in 'Gypsy.'' Nytimes, 2000
#2Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 9:45pm
Just read "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" No need to go further.
BEAN BAG!
"Through The Sacrifice You Made, We Can't Believe The Price You Paid..For Love!"
chewy5000
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/1/09
#4Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 10:27pm"Leave! Get out! Go be someone else's parasite!" --- Freddie to Florence in the musical CHESS.
"TO LOVE ANOTHER PERSON IS TO SEE THE FACE OF GOD"- LES MISERABLES---
"THERE'S A SPECIAL KIND OF PEOPLE KNOWN AS SHOW PEOPLE... WE'RE BORN EVERY NIGHT AT HALF HOUR CALL!"--- CURTAINS
#5Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 10:47pm"Best Friends" from The Wild Party
"Through The Sacrifice You Made, We Can't Believe The Price You Paid..For Love!"
#7Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 12:48am"She almost looks human- it must be the lighting."
"...everyone finally shut up, and the audience could enjoy the beginning of the Anatevka Pogram in peace."
#9Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 1:28am
Anne: "She's ravishingly beautiful"
Frederick: "Make up"!
Speaking of Desiree in "Night Music"
"People have their opinions and that doesn't mean that their opinions are wrong or right. I just take it with a grain of salt because opinions are like as*holes, everyone has one".
-Felicia Finley-
#10Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 8:19pm"She's a tight c**t wrapped around ambition." from Speed-the-Plow. I can't think of anything that comes close, but Roma's legendary tirade against Williamson ("Whoever told you you could work with men?... You stupid ****ing c**t... You fairy...") is up there in the Mamet canon, but it's not as clever a moment of wordplay.
Words don't deserve that kind of malarkey. They're innocent, neutral, precise, standing for this, describing that, meaning the other, so if you look after them you can build bridges across incomprehension and chaos. But when they get their corners knocked off, they're no good anymore…I don't think writers are sacred, but words are. They deserve respect. If you get the right ones in the right order, you can nudge the world a little.
Quiche2
Broadway Star Joined: 7/20/12
#11Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 8:31pmNot from Broadway, but had to mention this one. I saw a commercial where one old lady told another old lady, "May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!" LOLOLOLOLOL I laughed so hard after seeing that. Like I said, in no way is this from anything associated with Broadway. Definitely up there in the best insults ever though.
Theatre is my life. No one can take that away from me.
#13Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 8:36pm
^
I believe that was from The Golden Girls, between Sophia and her sister Angela.
But if you could see her through my eyes... she wouldn't look Jewish at all!
Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae
Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra
Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia
Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra
Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia
Quiche2
Broadway Star Joined: 7/20/12
#14Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 9:04pmIt may have been in a commercial promoting The Golden Girls, but I definitely didn't see it on there because you couldn't pay me to watch that show.
Theatre is my life. No one can take that away from me.
michellek45
Leading Actor Joined: 5/20/11
#16Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 9:32pm
"Why don't you light your tampon on fire and blow your box apart, because it's the only bang you're ever going to get, sweeheart."
Ah, PRISCILLA
Check out my eBay page for sales on Playbills!!
www.ebay.com/usr/missvirginiahamm
#17Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 9:51pmI loved that line from Priscilla and couldn't remember it word-for-word. Thanks for posting it!
A little swash, a bit of buckle - you'll love it more than bread.
OperaBwayLover
Broadway Star Joined: 5/17/07
#18Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 10:53pm
I won't say it's my absolute favorite, but it's the only one I can think of at the moment:
"You want to act like a tool? Then go sleep in the shed." (Addams Family)
Updated On: 11/4/12 at 10:53 PM
RENT_is_Wicked2
Stand-by Joined: 4/4/11
#19Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 11:14pm
Glinda: Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and all together quite impossible to describe.
Elphaba: ......... Blonde.
Haha, Wicked.
#20Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/5/12 at 12:32am
The entirety of You Must Meet My Wife from A Little Night Music on Desiree's end.
"Does your cousin dance?" "Like a drunk Chita Rivera." -- In the Heights.
"And I bet your milkshake brings ALL the boys to the yard." -- Peter and the Starcatcher.
"Anybody that goes to the theater, I think we’re all misfits, so we ended up on stage or in the audience.” --- Patti LuPone.
winston89
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/18/06
#21Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/5/12 at 11:51am
If you try to shag my husband while I'm still alive, I'll shove The Art of Motorcycle maintenance up your rancid little c--t, there's a good dear.
Tom Stoppard's Rock N Roll.
"If you try to shag my husband while I am still alive, I will shove the art of motorcycle maintenance up your rancid little Cu**. That's a good dear"
Tom Stoppard's Rock N Roll
#22Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/5/12 at 12:01pm"Not on your salary–not on an Associate Professor's salary!"- Martha to George, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Matt3358
Swing Joined: 2/24/11
#23Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/5/12 at 12:20pm
Favorite Insult comes from A Midsummer Night's Dream
Hermia to Helena: You juggler! You canker-blossom!
#24Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/5/12 at 12:26pm
Peter and the Starcatchers has a great blink and you'll miss it insult:
"He smelt like smelt."
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