GAG ME WITH A RAZOR: Why I Hate Tim Burton's SWEENEY TODD

[Oliver Brownlow]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 1:39am

[If it is felt that this post should be appended to the existing Sweeney Todd movie review thread, I'm ok with that, though if it ends up there, I would like to stress that I am not making this post to irritate or to spoil the pleasure of those who enjoyed the movie. If you don't want to read extremely negative criticisms of Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd, I suggest you skip over this post.]

Since Tim Burton's film adaptation of Stephen Sondheim and Hugh Wheeler's masterpiece Sweeney Todd opened with preview showings followed by limited release on December 21, 2007, and general release on January 11, 2008, virtually everything I've read about the film online or in print has consisted of effusive praise with (in some cases) a few minor caveats. It appears that I am to have the dubious honor of being the first, or at the very least one of the first to express an alternative view. I would have preferred to have expressed this view on the message board ("Finishing the Chat") at www.sondheim.com, but it seems to be impossible for me to do so at present due to interface problems between that website and my service provider, WebTV. So for now I'm going to post here, and if it becomes possible for me to post at "Finishing the Chat" again in the future I may move the whole discussion back over there. I have also posted these views on my own personal website (http://community.webtv.net/OliverBrownlow/GAGMEWITHARAZORWhyI), along with links to additional information.

My view is simply this: the Emperor is naked. This movie sucks. I hate this movie. Let me count the ways.

1. I hate this movie first and foremost because it presents Sondheim & Wheeler's masterpiece as the bloody remains of a corpse that's been butchered, chopped up, and fed through the meat grinder three times, with half of its magnificent score completely gone and the other half further hobbled and diminished by internal cuts, most of which seem to have as their sole object the shortening of the running time of the film for business purposes (i.e., to make it more attractive to theater owners who will be able to squeeze in more showings in a single day).

2. I hate this movie -- and I stress that this is a completely different point -- because virtually every single cut in the book and score hurts the film instead of helping it, making it less entertaining, less understandable, less clear as to every character's motivations, intentions, and actions, less coherent, less suspenseful, less moving, and in every respect, less interesting.

3. I hate this movie because most of the principals can't sing. In a multi-million-dollar production such as this, it is a disgrace that ALL of the principals can't sing superbly. But even a community theatre director knows that if you're doing a musical and you don't have enough talent to go around, you have to balance things out. If you don't have a strong-singing Sweeney, you cast a Lovett who sings well, and vice-versa. If you don't have a Judge who can sing well, you cast a strong-singing Beadle, and so on. You don't fill all the major leads of an operetta -- and this is an operetta, folks -- with non-singers and then, as an afterthought, throw a few decent singers into supporting roles. You don't do it because if you do, you are -- pardon the expression -- cutting your own throat. You are creating a production which cannot possibly succeed.

4. I hate this movie because, in what I gather we're supposed to think is a thoughtful and intelligent artistic choice, but which has instead the suspiciously strong stink of a penny-wise, pound-foolish cost-cutting measure, the chorus has been sacked, and all the chorus parts cut, even where their absence is absurd (i.e., "God, That's Good" -- oh, excuse me, I mean "___ ______ ____").

5. I hate this movie because it is spineless, in at least two different senses. The literal "spine" of the work, "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd" and all of its reprises, has been cut out. It's also spineless in its lack of faith in the original material, which the film's creators seem to have thought would bore the audience to death if not chopped into bite-size bits.

6. I hate this movie because they fired Christopher Lee.

7. I hate this movie because it is bloodless.

8. I hate this movie because Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter both look much too young for their roles. How old were they when Benjamin Barker was transported, and Mrs. Lovett was his landlady, 15? And Pirelli, supposedly a lad Sweeney hired to sweep up in the shop back then, looks twice Sweeney's age.

9. I hate this movie because Johnny Depp's acting performance sucks. From the first instant to the last instant, just about every choice he makes as an actor is 100% wrong. He plays the role as if he was playing the role of a goth teen with a stick up his butt who has been cast in the role of Sweeney Todd, and whose one-dimensional interpretation of the character is that Sweeney Todd has a stick up his butt -- he's all self-absorbed anger and nothing else.

Now, I didn't have high expectations for anyone playing this role because the performance tradition has been to play the role as emotionally rigid. I don't happen to agree with that tradition -- I think the role and the play (and movie) would be about a thousand times more interesting if the actor playing Sweeney played him as emotionally dynamic and considered the character's actual intentions, state of knowledge, and probable human reactions at any given moment. But I didn't expect this kind of subtlety from Depp. I only hoped he might wring a little more pathos from the role than most. Instead, Depp's Sweeney seems not only emotionally rigid, but a complete mental and physical zombie. The affected cockney accent doesn't help, either.

10. I hate this movie because Johnny Depp's hair looks [expletive deleted] ridiculous. He looks like the late notorious effeminate homosexual Quentin Crisp in drag as the Bride of Frankenstein, or possibly like the lead singer in a punk band. And how exactly does he maintain that hairstyle at sea?

11. I hate this movie because, as a result of the combination of Depp's dreadful acting, hopelessly inadequate singing, and proposterous appearance, any time I started to become involved in any way in the movie or its story or the performances of other actors, as soon as Depp spoke or sang or appeared on screen -- which happens a lot -- I was instantly ripped out of my involvement back to a position of complete alienation toward the film. You think the Broadway production was Brechtian? And that was why we couldn't hear the "Ballad" -- because that would have been too Brechtian? Depp in this movie is the ultimate Brechtian device.

12. I hate this movie because Helena Bonham Carter is Tim Burton's girlfriend -- they have two children together, and they have been engaged to be married since 2001. Let's shoot craps.

13. I hate this movie because there are thousands and thousands and thousands of professional, amateur, and probably even high school actors who could have done better jobs in the roles of Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett than Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. Possibly even people chosen at random off the street wouldn't have been worse.

14. I hate this movie because it seems to be a vanity production for Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter -- nothing less, and absolutely nothing more. This single organizing principle alone both explains and makes inevitable just about everything that's wrong with it.

15. I hate this movie because it is almost completely humorless.

16. I hate this movie because it is joyless.

17. I hate this movie because there was no reason for Sweeney not to kill Johanna.

18. I hate this movie because its overwrought, pretentious art direction seems to be an end in itself more than a way to tell the story, and it ultimately distracts from the story, and detracts from the movie as a whole.

19. I hate this movie because Ed Wood is one of the best films ever made.

20. I hate this movie because all of the poor singing, ridiculous costume and hairstyling choices, arbitrary cuts, and general disrespect for the original script and score that it models will surely be reproduced in thousands upon thousands of professional, regional, and amateur productions from now until the end of time.

21. I hate this movie because the fact that it has been made probably means there will not be a good movie of Sondheim's Sweeney Todd made in my lifetime, if ever.

22. I hate this movie because almost any competant director could have made a better movie of Sweeney Todd by leaving the script and score intact, using legitimate singers and modestly talented actors in all roles and filming it in the most straightforward way possible on appropriate period sets, with appropriate period costumes. Not that such a bare-bones approach is the limit of what a Sweeney Todd movie should have been -- far from it. But simply attending to these basics would have produced something superior to the half-baked mess that is Tim Burton's film. Why? Because Sweeney Todd is a masterpiece as originally written. It didn't need to be tarted up with a lot of showy cinematic tricks and computer effects or to be "compressed" (gutted) to make it into something good. It was good, and it is good. It didn't need a director like Tim Burton, whose overpoweringly weird, grotesque personal vision has dominated most of the films he's made, and I consider it very unfortunate that he was given the assignment.

23. I hate this movie because, if it was all we knew of Stephen Sondheim's Sweeney Todd, I feel dead sure that nobody would consider it his masterpiece.

24. I hate this movie because it is a pestilence on all mankind.

25. Finally, and most of all, I hate this movie and will always hate this movie because it represents a revolting, shameful compromise with, and a disgusting capitulation to the corrupt values of Hollywood moviemaking by a man whose unequalled talent, intelligence, and artistic integrity have made him a personal hero of mine since I was a young teenager. I can't even begin to speculate on the personal or professional motives that might have impelled this great genius, after a lifetime of dedication to artistic excellence, to allow his greatest work to be defiled in this obscene way. All I know is that I'm pretty sure the brilliant composer, lyricist, and musical theatre theorist I grew up admiring would have hated Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd as much as I do. How did you get there from here, Mr. Sondheim?

Updated On: 1/30/08 at 01:39 AM

[JudasIscariot]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 1:40am

We don't care.

[COOOOLkid]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 1:41am

Stop being a snob.

You just didn't like the movie, and all you did was to try and find as many things that you can criticize as possible.

[fnyboi88]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 1:43am

Wow. You spent a lot of time writing that for a thread.

[StickToPriest]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 1:44am

Yeah. I disagree with just about every word (or at least the ones I bothered to read.)

[commasplice]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 1:46am

"It appears that I am to have the dubious honor of being the first, or at the very least one of the first to express an alternative view."

Your sense of self-importance is cute, but you aren't.

[blaxx]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 1:47am

#24 is my favorite of the whole thing

[LizzieCurry]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 1:47am

Does hating one movie really matter that much to you? I can't believe people would put out that much energy, really. Go jog or something.

[ray-andallthatjazz86]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 1:49am

Oliver, I actually tried reading your post with an open mind.
I agree with only one thing which is that there was no reason for Sweeney not to kill Johanna.
Apart from that I think you got confused and instead of renting the DVD of the original production starring Angela Lansbury and George Hearn, you ended up going to the movie theater and watching this feature-film adaptation starring Johnny Depp at the top of his game, and Helena Bonham Carter giving one of the most haunting performances in a movie musical since Nicole Kidman's Satine.
Now, if you excuse me, I have to go blast the SWEENEY TODD soundtrack.

[StickToPriest]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 1:51am

"Depp in this movie is the ultimate Brechtian device."

Oh, please!

[LizzieCurry]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 1:53am

Don't forget, this is from someone who uses WebTV.

[Jonny boy]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 2:00am

I didn't care much for the movie either....

[StageManager2]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 2:03am

I hated this movie, as well! (But not as much as HAIRSPRAY.)

[Not Barker, Todd.]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 2:08am

Oliver Brownlow, Sondheim has been very enthusiastic about the film, and seems VERY proud of it. Not to mention he was involved with casting and has often said how pleased he was with Depp and Carter.

AND, if it was a real studio product, it would be PG-13, so as to reach a wider audience. In everything I have read about this movie, I have only seen artistic merit and honesty.

Updated On: 1/22/08 at 02:08 AM

[bk]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 2:08am

The responses to the post, no matter what one thinks of the film, are much more abhorrent. The youth of this board never ceases to amaze me. And when someone's only retort is to bring up WebTV, I think that's all that need be said. This fellow had an opinion, and having read the many, many long-winded opinions on this board, I don't see why anyone would have a problem with his having an opinion. Only children have a problem with someone's whose opinion differs from theirs. Debate him - sure. But the immaturity level is never less than astonishing, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

I was actually going to comment on the fact that I'm shocked WebTV still survives - and I think it's grand that it does. It was funky and fun and I used it for two years back around 1998, just because someone gave it to me, and because I loved seeing Internet dweebs diss it. It used to give me great pleasure using it for just that reason.

Now, Oliver, if you want some real fun, go post this at talkinbroadway's All That Chat.

[LizzieCurry]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 2:10am

Oliver: Take note! The responses by people who didn't like it are a lesson in being concise!

[StickToPriest]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 2:18am

bk: If she wants to know the backing behind our opinions, there are plenty of threads with long debates. She didn't need to start her own thread.

[louisamayfoster]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 2:22am

I try not to use the word "hate" unless I am talking about cancer or housework, but I truly do not understand the attraction to Stephen Sondheim music.

I did see the movie and I was totally underwhelmed by the whole thing. The throat cutting scenes were reminisant of the black knight in The Holy Grail movie. Depp's acting was too obvious and paled to HBC. I agree that the script was lacking. I would not recommend this movie to anyone.

[bk]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 3:35am

Oliver is a she?

[nitsua]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 3:46am

Obviously Oliver and I saw different movies.

I think with all of these protests, I disagree with #12 the most. Sure, they may be a couple, but she wouldn't be in this movie unless Sondheim okayed it. And he did.

I loved this movie. I thought it was beyond brilliant and I'm one of the most critical people on the entire planet. I enjoy ripping anything to shreds. While I have some problems with the movie, I didn't go in expecting to watch the Broadway show on film. I went to watch a movie.

louisamayfoster, enjoy Wicked.

[nobodyhome]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 4:33am

I'm sorry you disliked it so. I like a great deal of it though I think some of it certainly isn't so great.

A couple of questions about what you wrote:

"Now, I didn't have high expectations for anyone playing this role because the performance tradition, keying from Len Cariou's interpretation on Broadway, has been to play the role as emotionally rigid. I don't happen to agree with that tradition -- I think the role and the play (and movie) would be about a thousand times more interesting if the actor playing Sweeney played him as emotionally dynamic and considered the character's actual intentions, state of knowledge, and probable human reactions at any given moment."

Could you expand on this? I would not describe Cariou's performance as having been "emotionally rigid," but it may be more a matter of terminology than a disagreement. I'm not sure if you're basing your description just on the original cast recording or on other "archival preservations" as well. I know you're too young to have seen him and IIRC you also didn't see him in the fully staged concert in London in 2000 (although "emotionally rigid" would have applied a little more to his performance in London).

In fact, I do think "emotionally dynamic" would be a good description of his performance on Broadway, especially as the run went on and he found more and more layers and levels. I can't imagine an actor finding Sweeney's "probable human reactions" more than Cariou did.

Well, I'll amend that. I can imagine a few places where another actor could effectively bring a bit more variation to Sweeney's outward emotional reactions, but overall not very many. At least not without resorting to indicating and overacting.

And could you discuss in a little more detail how you would prefer to see the role played?

"He looks like the late notorious effeminate homosexual Quentin Crisp in drag as the Bride of Frankenstein, or possibly like the lead singer in a punk band."

I'm sorry but I do find this description offensive. Without wanting to accuse you of homophobia, I find myself hard put not to read homophobia into this description.

[BenKaye]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 5:13am

Wow, um, of course you're entitled to your opinion, but, wow, not to be rude, but you gave a lot of stupid reasons for "hating" the movie, in that ridiculously long post of yours.

Go read a book. I recommend "The Diving Bell and The Butterfly."

[LePetiteFromage]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 5:17am

Updated On: 5/8/09 at 05:17 AM

[husk_charmer]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 5:26am

Nobody Home-
I *think* the description of Quentin Crisp was used for the people on this board who have no idea who he is (and there are probably lots.)

Personally, I found it an amusing statement that was pretty insightful.

[logan0215]

Posted: 1/22/08 at 6:18am

AMEN to all of it.

Quentin Crisp is a famous effeminate actor. He was hired to play roles as such.

This statement is not homophobic, they are stating a fact.

Also, about HBC, Depp and Sondheim approval, I wrote in another thread about an interview I saw with Burton:

I was very bothered by the VH1 special I watched about the movie the day before yesterday. In it Burton said that he cast Depp without even having him vocally audition because he knew he was "in a rock band." Wasn't there such a big deal on here about how Sondheim had this overextending seal of approval on all vocals?

He said he put Helena through more of a vigorous audition because they were dating. HA! Helena said in an interview that she kept getting lost in her own head due to her pregnancy and Depp would have to snap her back into it during their scenes and get her back on track. That was obvious.

I also read HBC as saying:

From T.O.N.Y Interview with Helena:

That makes for a fitting segue into asking what Broadway snobs think of your performance.

"People are going to think what they want. Both Johnny [Depp] and I kept singing high and enunciating sharply, but Tim discouraged that. He was like, 'Don’t do that Broadway thing!'"