I'm going completely off the bin, and casting celebs! (NOTE: Might be more suited to a one-night benefit, the caveat being that if staged as such, Tim Curry would have to enter from the audience at the appropriate moment saying "Wait! I can explain!" and singing "I'm Going Home.")
Usherette (The Lips).........David Bowie
Brad Majors.........Clay Aiken
Janet Weiss.........Brittany Snow
Criminologist.........Bill Hader
Riff Raff.........Andrew Stockdale (lead singer of Wolfmother)
Magenta.........Amanda Palmer (vocalist for Dresden Dolls)
Columbia.........Megan Mullally
Frank N. Furter.........Jack Black
Rocky Horror.........Joe Anderson
Eddie.........John C. Reilly
Dr. Scott.........Christopher Lee
Explanations below.
Why Bowie? The movie version of "Science Fiction Double Feature" is entirely different from the more doo-wop sped-up arrangement common to the stage show, and was structured after Bowie's material. Who better to cast in the revival for this moment than the Thin White Duke?
Why Gaiken? Think of how appropriate this would be. Especially the seduction by Frank.
Why Snow? Believably innocent, and imagine the fun of calling her a slut in the callback lines.
Who the hell is Hader? SNL's pitch-perfect "Vincent Price," and my first pick.
And Stockdale, why him? Meh, he's suitably creepy.
Amanda Palmer? Creepy-sexy. 'Nuff said.
What the hell are you smoking to choose Megan Mullally? I defy all Karen Walker/
Will and Grace fans to put her in that gold suit, and listen to just one of Little Nell's lines without picturing Karen Walker after seeing this post.
I will hurt you. Don't do it, don't do it, put that down! I know what you're saying, but hear me out. Number one, Jack Black has the voice. Listen to the part, and tell yourself Jack Black couldn't do this just as funnily and well within his vocal range. That's right - you can't. Also, I think it's about time we got rid of the stereotype of a sexy Frank N. Furter--just because Tim Curry was sexy, does not follow that every Frank after him should be. There were some Franks in the show's past who went out of their way to make the role as grotesque as possible, Reg Livermore being one. The role is a twist on the traditional sci-fi movie "mad scientist," with a Fifties stereotypical bisexual slant [meaning how they viewed them then, as decadent cross-dressers who *beep* everything in sight]. Nothing in there about being sexy.
Joe Anderson? Why? He's blond, he sings, he'd look good half-naked, and what else has he been doing since
Across the Universe anyway?
Must you stomp on all my dreams? I could say the same of your judging my casting before thinking about it. Most of you would no doubt have pictured Jack Black here before I pleaded my case. I mean, Meat Loaf played his dad, and Jack was supposed to play Meat Loaf in a VH1 movie but it didn't pan out, and...enough. Reilly is SNL's resident rock vocalist imitator. He can bust out a Meat Loaf impression. It's one number - but what a number!
Christopher Lee...actually, that's a good fit. Right? All I have to do is say his name, and mention his pedigree in the Hammer films that 'Rocky' was striking out at, to say nothing of his turn as the Criminologist on an RHS studio recording, and instant win.
"There is no problem so big that it cannot be run away from."
~ Charles M. Schulz
