Pirate Queen previews: What would you change?

[TechEverlasting]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 8:57am

We're all world class theatre experts here, so let's use this thread to share our suggestions. Pirate Queen now has a little less than four weeks before it faces New York critics. This is enough time to change a few songs around, rewrite some lyrics or adjust some character development. It's not enough time to rewrite an entire act or add any big new numbers, especially given the technical complexity of this show.

I think Pirate Queen has made amazing improvements since Chicago, and I would go so far as to say that the show now "works". Here's what I would do in the remaining weeks:

The ending still doesn't make sense. Why does Elizabeth release Grania after years of hunting her down? What is Grania going to London to do, and why does she raise her fist before singing "On The Sea of Life"? What is Elizabeth's motivation for negotiating with Grace?

I think the show loses steam after the "Christening" scene. The first thing I would rewrite is "Lament", the song where all the Irish peasants whine to the newly released Grania about how mean the Brits are being to them. Frankly, they all sound like a bunch of Frenchmen in that scene! The Irish I know would have fought the British tooth and nail, ambushing troops, sabotaging supply lines, killing every English soldier in sight. This might explain Lord Bingham's wrath, and it would give Elizabeth a reason to want to talk to Grania. (I can think of at least one modern example of a great empire being bogged down in a foreign conflict against insurgents.)

We have this wonderful new character, Donal's father. Let's show him dying in a sneak attack on British troops. Perhaps Dubdhara in his death scene could counsel Grania that she won't ever be able to defeat the British, and will instead have to find some way to coexist with them. Now Queen Elizabeth would really have a reason to be furious at Grania when she came to London, and Grania could give it right back to her. They would actually have something to negotiate about, and Tiernan's release might actually make sense as being part of a negotiated peace treaty. (I don't care if it's historically accurate. Very little else in the show is!) Oh, and why not use the word "rape" instead of "disrespect"? Right now it sounds like the British soldiers aren't saying "please" and are making snide comments about the Irish women's figures.

I love Act 1, and don't think it needs much work at all. The only thing I would change is to lose the fake onstage musicians. This is unbearably cheesy, especially in the overture and before Dubdhara's funeral. The best solution would be to bring the actual flautist, pipist and fiddler onstage. There are some wonderful musicians in that pit, and Broadway audiences are now accustomed to seeing actual musicians playing on stage. Most theaters that I've been in have stairs or an elevator that lead from the pit to the stage, I'm sure something could be worked out.

[WithoutATrace]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 10:16am

Please please rewrite "Boys'll Be Boys." That song is awful, but the dancing that follows it is excellent.

[BobbyBubby]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 10:18am

I'd start with giving them authentic pirate accents. Geez! Where's the dramaturg!

[shesamarshmallow]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 10:31am

The Irish I know would have fought the British tooth and nail, ambushing troops, sabotaging supply lines, killing every English soldier in sight.

The Irish fear nothing and no one, they keep fighting til everyone's dead!!!! (I don't know where that metaphor's going... I just felt like it had to be said...)

[Calvin]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 10:55am

The only thing I would change is to lose the fake onstage musicians. This is unbearably cheesy, especially in the overture and before Dubdhara's funeral.

Ha. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that -- especially the fiddler at the beginning of Act 2. And the "Lament" song is not helped that is has the "Master of the House" rhythm.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 10:56am

I agree about Boys Will Be Boys, it is just stupid.

I do not recall the fiddler in Chicago.

[TechEverlasting]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 11:01am

"The Irish fear nothing and no one, they keep fighting til everyone's dead!!!! (I don't know where that metaphor's going... I just felt like it had to be said...)"

(These are lyrics from "Ireland", a song in Legally Blonde.)

Good heavens Shesamarshmallow, you're making a profound point there. Legally Blonde apparently knows more about the Irish soul than Pirate Queen does.

[shesamarshmallow]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 11:03am

Or it at leasts gets the stereotypes right...

[WhatNow?]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 11:07am

Tech, I'd agree with your assessment that the show now works. I saw the show in Chicago and last night, and there were tons of great changes.

One thing I'd like them to change is to have a definite ending to the show. Right now with the short reprise of the Wedding Song and then straight to the bows, it had me bewildered.

[danhattan]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 11:46am

Tech-

I'm excited to see how positively you have reviewed the re-worked PIRATE QUEEN! I'm so glad to hear that you think it's made "amazing improvements." You've given me hope that this show might actually do well. It's refreshing that you like Act 1 so much. Now it just sounds like they need to fix the ending. Or at least give it an ending, for that matter. I have all of my fingers crossed for this show.

[TechEverlasting]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 12:32pm

Danhattan, I have my fingers crossed as well. No one benefits when a big expensive show flops, except perhaps those people who like to go on message boards and cackle with glee over the misfortunes of others.

Here are a few lines that really bugged me in Chicago and are still there. Why the hell does Lord Bingham still say "At last the Irish sow on English soil" when Grania first confronts Elizabeth?! Yes, I know that in the novel it was established that Grania was imprisoned in Ireland, but this fact isn't brought out in the show and Elizabeth is standing right next to Grania while they sing "She Who Has All". Couldn't he say something like "At last the Irish Queen in the British castle"?

Towards the end Lord Bingham says something about having been up to his knees in Irish filth for five years. Yet before the Chieftans resign he says that Grace has been imprisoned for seven years. What year do all these events take place in anyway? Could we maybe give Grace a few grey hairs at the end so we sense that time has passed?

[Theatreboy33]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 12:36pm

The pitch of Elizabeth's songs
The scenic backdrops
The silhouetted climax
The post-birth battle
The cartoonish marching of British soldiers
Lord Bingham's moustache
Rewrite Boys Will Be Boys
Find more general variance in all of the music

that's all i ask

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 12:40pm

I think they should build a set.

[FallintoLight]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 12:41pm

Theatreboy- I agree about the silhouetted climax. but I'm not sure how they could change it. I was trying to think of something last night and just nothing came to mind.

Elizabeth's pitch has been lowered and it works a lot better.

I personally like the minimalist approach to the scenery. I think people are expecting big sets since it's a huge show but I think it works here!

I personally don't like the raising of the child through the floor. But all this will be changed in time I'm sure!

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 1:51pm

Call me silly, but I loved the post-birth battle in Chicago. I thought Stephanie did an incredible acting job in that scene. She made my uterus hurt.

I haven't seen the show in NY, but from what I've heard about the changes and what I remember from Chicago, it NEEDS a better ending. Some sort of climax and emotional wallop. PLEASE.

[NDR]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 3:20pm

Heres to hoping that the changes currently in place are just a small representation of more work taking place behind the scenes. I have yet to see the show - I know do I have the right to comment at all - but by the sounds of things and the clips from Castcom - I would have to agree that Boy's Will Be Boys needs to go or be written. I do appreciate a good silhouette but if they are overused they get old - I will have to reserve judgement but hears to hoping that the producers and writers are working their bums off reworking and retooling!

[Shakespearean]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 3:46pm

OK, the show definitely needs an ending… never one to grumble without suggesting a solution, here’s mine:

Keep the reunion (“Here on This Night”) on shore and transition to the ship. As they sing let the crew drift on, the sails drop in, the masthead and steering wheel arise, the pin-rail that only appears in the ship in Act II (grrr Eugene!) rises up. The music swells, Clan O’Malley once more rules the seas, all we have is the land at our back and wind in our sails, make ready for the French fleet under a letter of marquee from the Queen, yadda yadda yadda. Big musical finale with Grace downstage doing the Titanic hanging from the jib sheet bit. Give us at least one good pirate song, please! Yo ho ho and away we go! Even a reprise of “The Pirate Queen” would do, toasting Grace this time.

Then after the bows, we see Grace and Tiernan and their new baby caught in a shipwreck off the coast of Africa. Grace and Tiernan are killed by a leopard and… why does this sound familiar? Sorry, I have a poor reputation to maintain here. It may be time to start that Alternatives Ending thread…

[WellIfYouInsist]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 10:48pm

This was written for a post on another board, so some of these things are actually copy/pasted from Tech's post, because I agreed wholeheartedly with what he said. Here we go:


1) Cut "Sea of Life." I'm sorry, to any big fans. It's pretty. Maybe they can record it as a bonus track for the cast recording along with "The Woman That I Am." But the show trudges and loses momentum SO MUCH after "Let A Father..." that this song looks to me to be the most readily replaceable one.

Since the beginning of Act II no longer has "Son of the Irish Seas," I see that this melody really would work wonderfully in this moment of the show. Hell, I'll even write the lyrics for the creatives if I need to. It would liven up Act II frighteningly well, and give Stephanie J. Block some amazing belting opportunities to really show off the passion of her character.

2) Make "She Who Has All" an introspective solo for Queen Elizabeth I. With the state of the duet, the final lyric STILL makes no sense! They are, however, a lot closer. I really feel like if it were a solo this would give the lyrical amount of space and time to let Elizabeth explain to the audience why she lets Grania go, and why she feels a "Woman in love is she who has all." If they can make it work in duet form, then more power to them. If they want to keep it as a duet, Elizabeth needs a bridge in the middle to the "So it was a man / Nothing but a man" melody, but this time talking about herself ("If I had a man," or something more poetic but to that effect).

3) This is small but effective suggestion. In "Woman to Woman," instead of Grania singing "They disrespect our women so," have her get to the truth and sing "They rape and beat our women so." Then, have Queen Elizabeth's next line be directed at BINGHAM, and change it to "If this is true, then rest assured, you will be dealt with in good time."

4) Put the actual Orchestra musicians onstage or get rid of the sillhouetted people playing instruments altogether. It doesn't look very good at all.

5) Put the infamous dice in. I know exactly how: Put a short scene after the Wedding, where Donal tries to be nice to Grania. He says he didn't remember get a wedding gift for her, and the only thing he has is two dice that are in his pocket (or satchel or something, I don't care). Then later in the Dismissal, she pulls them out (I think around the "I draw the line here" part) and suggests a bet: if she wins, he leaves. If he wins, he gets Eoin, the ship, and the leadership and she has to leave. They sing the counterpoint, she rolls, wins, and Dismisses him.

6) Some have pointed out that the O’Flaherty clan dresses the same as the O’Malleys. This can visually be confusing for the storyline. Perhaps the O’Flaherty costumes should come from a similar but still different color palette.

7) “Boys’ll Be Boys” is still an immense rip-off of “Master of the House.” You can do better! No real suggestion, just write a better song. Period.

It's not apparent that Grania is imprisoned in Ireland, still. Just add one little stanza of music in the intro to "She, Who Has All" and it could work. Here is what I came up with:

Queen Elizabeth I
"So it was a man?
Nothing but a man?
Kept the girl alive:

Jailed as she's been, for
Seven whole years
In her homeland,
Duly undone." (or whatever that last line is)

9) The new sub-plot about Bingham trying to get under Elizabeth's skirts is good, but not as well-executed as it could be. The one part that irks me the most is the lyric "I will not flinch, I mean / From performing this role for the queen." I would replace it with "And I will rule land and sea / Through my new son, the English King," or something that really shows us he just wants to use her for his own social-climbing purposes.

10) Put a bit to the music the Ladies-in-Waiting sing in "The Waking of the Queen" in Act Two, saying something to the effect of "Seven years have passed since Ireland was brought down, but still no heir for the English throne." This could also fit lyrically to the music in "Lament."

11) Speaking of "Lament," it is next on my list. Frankly, Boublil and Schönberg are showing their true French colors here! All the Irish seem to do in response to their defeat by the English is dress in tattered clothing and complain! We have a great new device in the new character Chieftan O'Flaherty to show their never-ending struggle to regain their land. Let's have him having taken over in Grania's absence and ambushing British troops to steal food and equipment and being killed. The constant small attacks from the Irish would then give more realistic motivation to Bingham's "wrath" on the country. There is at least at least one modern example of a great empire being bogged down in a foreign conflict against insurgents that they could mirror here...

12) Dubdhara's death scene is a little lacking. The addition of Donal helps. I feel that he should counsel Grania that the clans won't ever be able to completely defeat the British, and will instead have to find some way to coexist with them.

The combination of 11 and 12 could make the meeting of Elizabeth and Grania electric. They would both be extremely angry at each other, Elizabeth because she has been hearing about the 'rebel' Irish attacking English supply lines, etc., and Grania because of what the English are doing to the Irish. Therefore they also have something to actually NEGOTIATE, and Tiernan's release could then make sense as part of their treaty.

13) Wig people have done an awesome job, but once Grania gets out of prison she needs some grey in her hair! Elizabeth too! Unless they are going to project dates on the scrim or something and the timeline does not involve the characters aging that much, they really need to show signs of aging!

14) The show has absolutely no finality. Grania and Tiernan sing their beautiful duet, and then people start bowing? NO. If you want to bring back the epic musical, make the ending epic! In my wisdom I personally feel that the ending should be a reprise of "A Day Beyond Belclare." It is the most uplifting song in the show. Mirror the song's sentiment in Act I with the lyrical idea in Act II of it being about the hope and future for Ireland. And end this show about Pirates on a ship, for heaven's sake.

[B3TA07]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 10:52pm

Wow. Great ideas, WellIfYouInsist! I sure hope someone who can actually get something done sees this.

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 10:55pm

Those are FANTASTIC and really well thought out ideas! They should hire you.

I agree, I hope someone with power sees these and doesn't simply dismiss them.
Let's email them to...someone...

[commasplice]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 11:02pm

Lots of great suggestions. I haven't seen it in NY, so I don't know how well they've addressed this, but transition, transition, transition! One of my big problems with the second act was that they did a very poor job showing how/that time was passing (very much agreed with Tech and WellIfYouInsist - let the characters age!).

[SayitSomehow]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 11:03pm

No seriously, someone who's connected to someone get those suggestions to the creators

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 11:07pm

Were there musicians on stage in Chicago? I do not recall that and I saw the show three times.

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 11:20pm

I don't think there were, brdlwyr. I don't remember them, anyway.

[zerbie]

Posted: 3/7/07 at 11:43pm

The "Pirate" accents you are used to hearing came 200 years later and were mostly English. No "Arrghhs" in the 16th century, but plenty of swords ! Cheers!
Updated On: 3/7/07 at 11:43 PM