#1
Posted: 3/7/07 at 8:57am
We're all world class theatre experts here, so let's use this thread to share our suggestions. Pirate Queen now has a little less than four weeks before it faces New York critics. This is enough time to change a few songs around, rewrite some lyrics or adjust some character development. It's not enough time to rewrite an entire act or add any big new numbers, especially given the technical complexity of this show.
I think Pirate Queen has made amazing improvements since Chicago, and I would go so far as to say that the show now "works". Here's what I would do in the remaining weeks:
The ending still doesn't make sense. Why does Elizabeth release Grania after years of hunting her down? What is Grania going to London to do, and why does she raise her fist before singing "On The Sea of Life"? What is Elizabeth's motivation for negotiating with Grace?
I think the show loses steam after the "Christening" scene. The first thing I would rewrite is "Lament", the song where all the Irish peasants whine to the newly released Grania about how mean the Brits are being to them. Frankly, they all sound like a bunch of Frenchmen in that scene! The Irish I know would have fought the British tooth and nail, ambushing troops, sabotaging supply lines, killing every English soldier in sight. This might explain Lord Bingham's wrath, and it would give Elizabeth a reason to want to talk to Grania. (I can think of at least one modern example of a great empire being bogged down in a foreign conflict against insurgents.)
We have this wonderful new character, Donal's father. Let's show him dying in a sneak attack on British troops. Perhaps Dubdhara in his death scene could counsel Grania that she won't ever be able to defeat the British, and will instead have to find some way to coexist with them. Now Queen Elizabeth would really have a reason to be furious at Grania when she came to London, and Grania could give it right back to her. They would actually have something to negotiate about, and Tiernan's release might actually make sense as being part of a negotiated peace treaty. (I don't care if it's historically accurate. Very little else in the show is!) Oh, and why not use the word "rape" instead of "disrespect"? Right now it sounds like the British soldiers aren't saying "please" and are making snide comments about the Irish women's figures.
I love Act 1, and don't think it needs much work at all. The only thing I would change is to lose the fake onstage musicians. This is unbearably cheesy, especially in the overture and before Dubdhara's funeral. The best solution would be to bring the actual flautist, pipist and fiddler onstage. There are some wonderful musicians in that pit, and Broadway audiences are now accustomed to seeing actual musicians playing on stage. Most theaters that I've been in have stairs or an elevator that lead from the pit to the stage, I'm sure something could be worked out.
I think Pirate Queen has made amazing improvements since Chicago, and I would go so far as to say that the show now "works". Here's what I would do in the remaining weeks:
The ending still doesn't make sense. Why does Elizabeth release Grania after years of hunting her down? What is Grania going to London to do, and why does she raise her fist before singing "On The Sea of Life"? What is Elizabeth's motivation for negotiating with Grace?
I think the show loses steam after the "Christening" scene. The first thing I would rewrite is "Lament", the song where all the Irish peasants whine to the newly released Grania about how mean the Brits are being to them. Frankly, they all sound like a bunch of Frenchmen in that scene! The Irish I know would have fought the British tooth and nail, ambushing troops, sabotaging supply lines, killing every English soldier in sight. This might explain Lord Bingham's wrath, and it would give Elizabeth a reason to want to talk to Grania. (I can think of at least one modern example of a great empire being bogged down in a foreign conflict against insurgents.)
We have this wonderful new character, Donal's father. Let's show him dying in a sneak attack on British troops. Perhaps Dubdhara in his death scene could counsel Grania that she won't ever be able to defeat the British, and will instead have to find some way to coexist with them. Now Queen Elizabeth would really have a reason to be furious at Grania when she came to London, and Grania could give it right back to her. They would actually have something to negotiate about, and Tiernan's release might actually make sense as being part of a negotiated peace treaty. (I don't care if it's historically accurate. Very little else in the show is!) Oh, and why not use the word "rape" instead of "disrespect"? Right now it sounds like the British soldiers aren't saying "please" and are making snide comments about the Irish women's figures.
I love Act 1, and don't think it needs much work at all. The only thing I would change is to lose the fake onstage musicians. This is unbearably cheesy, especially in the overture and before Dubdhara's funeral. The best solution would be to bring the actual flautist, pipist and fiddler onstage. There are some wonderful musicians in that pit, and Broadway audiences are now accustomed to seeing actual musicians playing on stage. Most theaters that I've been in have stairs or an elevator that lead from the pit to the stage, I'm sure something could be worked out.
"I have got to have some professional music!" - Big Edie
It's not apparent that Grania is imprisoned in Ireland, still. Just add one little stanza of music in the intro to "She, Who Has All" and it could work. Here is what I came up with: 
