Saw and was ignored by Bette Midler yesterday — Page 3

BobBenson, that was amazing. If that wasn't a reference to something then I hope actors just start performing that as their audition monologue.

One of my favorite parts about New York City is how celebrities can be ignored in public. I love just randomly seeing a famous person mind his business and all the cool New Yorkers too busy to care. People like the OP totally ruin that vibe.

Updated On: 9/28/15 at 09:06 PM

I've seen many a celeb in the Manhattan over the years. From around the fountain at Lincoln Center to the 5th Avenue bus. Never would I think of saying anything to them or even staring because I'm not a self centered jerk. But once I was on line at Emigrant Savings Bank right behind an interesting looking older woman in cowboy boots who I recognized. And she was glancing back at me several times while we waited to get to the teller, so finally I said something - I think - charming about the bank name and we proceeded to chat for a few minutes, mostly about her Oscar nomination and more. She was very open and nice. Sylvia Miles.

" She was very open and nice. Sylvia Miles."

oy, lol. Sylvia is all around. As they used to say, she would go to the opening a letter. She was a frequent guest at my friend's parties. She's friendly. But she would not sit down in her seat at the Jane St. Theater. She only wanted to stand in the aisle of everyone could see her. My ushers were complaining because she made it hard for them to seat people. I had to go tell her to take her seat.

haterobics said: "Sylver1 said: "This is classic. I am criticized for "joining" this board to diss a celebrity and the next to last poster joined today to diss me!!! ... Oh, and apparently I am also self centered. Appreciate all the free therapy."

If you click the Profile button under that person's name, you will see their first thread they posted was about the Flea Market, and have also commented across other threads, as well.

If we click your Profile button, the only thing you joined to post about was Bette Midler, and it is the only thread you have posted in since joining.

Project much?

"

SNAPS for Haterobics.

Sylver1 said: "Appreciate all the free therapy."

You really should take this free therapy to heart.

The biggest "fans" don't consider about what the other person might be feeling/thinking/experiencing. It's very one-sided; fans will know details about a person's life while that person doesn't know any of her fans. When a celebrity thanks her fans, she does it with the understanding of a faceless whole. And the Pandora's Box. If Midler did smile and the fan asked for a selfie or autograph but was declined, it would be the same complaint. When the "biggest" fans place someone so high on a pedestal, it's all the easier to push them off with the slightest thing because they didn't meet certain expectations when it comes to....fan entitlement.

You reek of entitlement. You sullied your own position by concluding with this little gem:

Sylver1 said: "So I knew her when....Felt like saying to her that between concerts, cd's, movies etc. I bet I paid for her shoes....you can't acknowledge a fan who helped give you the life you live?.. ..again...TACKY! "

There are two separate issues here: One is the normal manners we'd simply expect from interacting with another person out in public. But it's important to remember that for a celebrity of Midler's stature, which far outstrips Audra McDonald's fame, "normal" is forever elusive. Every little thing they do is over-interpreted, and that includes being friendly with one stranger only to have a few more appear from every corner when they're trying to go about their business. Then comes the second issue, the feeling of entitlement, which you slid into your argument by way of trying to put guilt onto Midler because you helped "put her where she is." I certainly reacted negatively as soon as I read down and saw that you tried to pull that, and I wouldn't be surprised if many others felt the same.

While the first issue is understandably disappointing and can be interpreted as being rude, the second sits squarely in the same arena as stage dooring: It's never required and the fans already got what they deserved. Meaning the performances, the books/CDs/DVDs/etc. The ticket price at a Broadway show doesn't include stage door, just as the retail price of any entertainment good doesn't include a "meet and greet" with a celebrity. That might seem obvious, but it bears repeating. I firmly believe that a celebrity owes a fan nothing more than what the fan has already experienced or received to become a fan in the first place.

Yes, some are more friendly and some are less so, but unless a celebrity is a complete bag of evil **** (see: Bill Cosby) or is actively stupid (hit-and-run, saying racist things), I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt when they're not on stage. Like Cupid Boy2, I'm happy to enjoy their work under professional limits and don't feel the desire to "meet" them or be acknowledged, which is a false impression anyway.

Study up on body language. If someone is going about their business heads-down and avoiding eye contact, they're not interested in interacting. Everyone should respect that. If you only started with a "hi" and tried waving but there was no response, you should shrug and stop. Tom5 alluded to a good example of reading body language. Between introverts and extroverts, some celebrities are better at managing or responding to various "stranger danger" situations on social media and in public; but just because someone wants to avoid public interaction on a given day in a certain place doesn't automatically make her a bad person.

I love when people have been "lurking for a long time" and then are shocked when the board responds exactly how it always responds to this kind of thread.

Did you really think this kind of thread would go over any better than any other negative thread started by a new poster who's been "lurking" has ever gone?

I can understand everyone's immediate reaction to this thread. However, I do not think it is fair to lash out at Sylver1 who is just putting forward his/her experience and opinion. Obviously Sylver1 is a big fan of Bette and it is not fair to say that the first reaction of "i love you" is creepy. Sometimes in such situations, we do not know exactly what to say when seeing someone we idolise. Secondly, I believe [and this is my personal opinion] that it is a rash to criticise and judge a person because their first post on this board was going against an individual. This does not mean that Sylver1 joined only to make a point and that's it. Obviously i understand that Bette is just another individual and that like any other person, she wants her privacy to be respected, but I also believe that as members of this board, we shouldn't lash out and criticise a user who is putting forward their experience and opinion.

This is just my view point of the matter.

Ah, see YOU opened the door to opinions by starting the thread....everyone else, new or otherwise, simply stepped in.

I once had extra tickets to an event and tried to sell them unknowingly to a celebrity, not recognizing them at all. Said Celebrity was amused and we had a good chat about the high price of theatre tickets.

Depending on how you catch people's moods, we all can have good days and bad. Some days I can give my seat to an elderly lady next to me and the next time I might growl at anyone too close to me on the subway.

Loved the story about Syliva Miles, she sounds like an entertaining hoot. She has a place in my heart for dumping a plate of food on the critic John Simon, i'm awed she was able to bring attention to herself and accomplish a public service. Well done, Sylvia!!

It could've been worse, she may have pulled a Bjork and beat the absolute **** out of you.

Sylver1 It's true that some of the regular posters on this board can be mean. Attempting wit at an outsider's expense seems to be a group sport here. It's like they miss middle school.

But what was your purpose in posting? Were you even thinking of how readers of this board would react? Did you expect sympathy? Was your effort just to exact revenge for the crime of not paying attention to you? If the purpose was to have a discussion about celebrity vs. fan behavior, you got it.

I'm sorry that how some are expressing themselves "hardens" your view, as you put it.

Sylver1 said: "This is classic. I am criticized for "joining" this board to diss a celebrity and the next to last poster joined today to diss me!!! But of course, that is OK because I am an uncool person who believes that special rules as to civility, kindness...pick a word...only apply to those who are not famous. Oh, and apparently I am also self centered. Appreciate all the free therapy.

Many years ago on a talk show Bette Davis...how ironic....when asked about autograph seekers etc said that she took her fans very seriously because and I admit I am paraphrasing..... "I am in show business… at the end of the day it's a business. And if people won't put down money to see me than I guess I'm waiting tables or I am selling real estate but I'm not doing something that I truly love. I will always be grateful for my fans." All I think was warranted from Miss M. was a smile...not even a word. Disagree? Fine, but this board at times just seems to be a place in these situations to see who can say the most cool thing or top the last bitchy remark. Mean girls on steroids. Sad.

"

I think the point of many is that your whole point in posting this was not about discussing her behavior, but rather you blowing off steam that she did not acknowledge you. Now if you had posting something like:

"Let me tell you a story! I ran into BM at this store, and tried to say/express my admiration and she ignored me (your whole long story about this)! It got me to thinking, should celebrities be held to the same societal expectations as us normal folk, or are they exempt because of their circumstance? I personally think that a smile, at least, would have been appropriate. I know this is my first post on these boards, but from my time reading, I know I'll get some strong opinions! I was personally rather offended."

See, that had a purpose. You are inquiring about input, or gossiping about a celebrity. Now, just appease me here.. read what you ACTUALLY wrote:

"

At an antique show yesterday in NYC and as I was about to leave in walks Bette Midler. TINY...thin...good shape....walked right next to me....said "Love you, Miss Midler"....not a look, not a glance, not a smile and certainly not a "thank you." So of course I discreetly stalked her for a few minutes....other people recognized her....no response....like she was stone cold deaf. Heard a dealer say the same thing to her...."love you"....Bette is looking at her jewelry case and facing her.....NOTHING...walked up to the dealer and said that she treated me the same. VERY disappointing. I was respectful, not giddy...did not have my hand out expecting or asking for a hand shake and certainly didn't have my phone out for a selfie. Truly tacky. A quick smile from her...that's it...would have meant a lot. I am 60 and first saw her a century ago at the "Schaefer Music Festival" in Central Park...tickets were $2.50!!!! So I knew her when....Felt like saying to her that between concerts, cd's, movies etc. I bet I paid for her shoes....you can't acknowledge a fan who helped give you the life you live?.. ..again...TACKY! "

Can you see how that sounds like "WHAT A HORRIBLE PERSON! WHO WOULDN'T LIKE ME? I GAVE HER TWO DOLLARS BACK IN THE DAY! AHHHHHHHHH!"? Not saying that's what your intent was, but that's what it reads like.

Doesn't mean your opinion isn't valid. Doesn't mean your opinions aren't true. But it really isn't the way to start a conversation like this in a forum community. What are you adding? What input are you really looking for? If it's affirmation, no realistic forum is going to give you that...