Sit down, shut up and clap: A guide to theater etiquette by Amanda Duarte — Page 4

Lot666 said: "poisonivy2 said: "Lot666 said:
poisonivy2 said: "Some of these "guidelines" are common sense but others are purely a white man's idea of etiquette. For instance, "no one under 25"?"

What does being 25 years old (or younger) have to do with being white?"

"My 13 year old has her au pair while me and my husband enjoy a night in the theater.""

I don't see how thequoted scenario supports your claim. You seem to be implying that only white peoplecould possibly afford to pay forchildcare; that sounds awfully racist to me."

No I'm saying many of her rules are a white man's idea of etiquette and behavior. Bringing your child to the theater if the child is mature and well-behaved is harmless. But there is a subset of rich white people that would never dream of taking their children on an evening out.

Theaters themselves sell snacks and drinks urge theatergoers to bring them back during intermission. You can't eat or drink in the theater is again a white person's construct of etiquette.

It reminds me of Scarlett O'Hara's mammy forbidding her to eat at the BBQ.

Updated On: 6/29/18 at 11:03 AM

Let me try to be clear. I am the one who wrote about reaching in the mouth, grabbing the gum, and taking the tongue and choking you with it while I was at it. The original piece is funny and full of hyperbole. Hyperbole that any person with a little intelligence and common sense could decipher. I was commenting in the spirit of the piece and then got into a back and forth with someone that obviously didn't get it. Would I ever actually do anything like that? It has crossed my mind.. not necessarily with those exact actions, but if you put me on the edge.. who knows. The point being that besides it being courteous, and considerate of others, you should practice common sense and good behavior in a public social place as the theater. And one of the reasons you should do this is because many of us have been put on the edge far too many times and you never know to what extend someone will react. As you can tell.. there are many of us who feel we should confront someone who is disturbing our enjoyment of the theater. And @Poison.. you have been here long enough so please don't play dumb. Your comment is racist. It is.

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How you read racism into people under 25 shouldn’t see “serious” theater is, quite frankly, hilarious. While I don’t agree with her on this point, she’s simply saying young people who will be bored by King Lear or Three Tall Women would be best to see Frozen or Spongebob where they won’t be bored, fidgeting and distracting to other audience members. It’s about maturity level, not race, class, gender, sexuality or anything else.

You think she’s suggesting a 24 year old needs a babysitter?

Of course there are exceptions, as we’ve seen with a ten year old who loved the last Crucible revival, but her argument would be more compelling if she had said 10-12 should be the “general” threshold for more serious fare, but know your own kid’s inclinations and capabilities to focus and not be disruptive.

Are you arguing that kids of all ages should be taken to see every show? Would you bring an eight year old to King Lear?

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DAME said: "Let me try to be clear. I am the one who wrote about reaching in the mouth, grabbing the gum, and taking the tongue and choking you with it while I was at it. The original piece is funny and full of hyperbole. Hyperbole that any person with a little intelligence and common sense could decipher. I was commenting in the spirit of the piece and then got into a back and forth with someone that obviously didn't get it. Would I ever actually do anything like that? It has crossed my mind.. not necessarily with those exact actions, but if you put me on the edge.. who knows. The point being that besides it being courteous, and considerate of others, you should practice common sense and good behavior in a publicsocial place as the theater. And one of the reasons you should do this is because many of us have been put on the edge far too many times and you never know to what extend someone will react. As you can tell.. there are many of us who feel we should confront someone who is disturbing our enjoyment of the theater. And @Poison.. you have been here long enough so please don't play dumb. Your comment is racist. It is."

Are you even aware of what's going on in this country? Where minorities have had the police called on them for simply being in Starbucks? And we have ppl here who think it's okay to hit or assault someone in the theater? Sorry that is white privilege.

poisonivy2 said: "DAME said: "Let me try to be clear. I am the one who wrote about reaching in the mouth, grabbing the gum, and taking the tongue and choking you with it while I was at it. The original piece is funny and full of hyperbole. Hyperbole that any person with a little intelligence and common sense could decipher. I was commenting in the spirit of the piece and then got into a back and forth with someone that obviously didn't get it. Would I ever actually do anything like that? It has crossed my mind.. not necessarily with those exact actions, but if you put me on the edge.. who knows. The point being that besides it being courteous, and considerate of others, you should practice common sense and good behavior in a publicsocial place as the theater. And one of the reasons you should do this is because many of us have been put on the edge far too many times and you never know to what extend someone will react. As you can tell.. there are many of us who feel we should confront someone who is disturbing our enjoyment of the theater. And @Poison.. you have been here long enough so please don't play dumb. Your comment is racist. It is."

Are you even aware of what's going on in this country? Where minorities have had the police called on them for simply being in Starbucks? And we have ppl here who think it's okay to hit or assault someone in the theater? Sorry that is white privilege."

No one here thinks it is ok to hit or assault people in a theater. Your interpreting things in a convenient way to start argument. And you know that.

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Well this went in a unexpectedly stupid direction.

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DP

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Updated On: 6/29/18 at 12:15 PM

Hi again everyone, we are going to lock this thread down for a few hours, because it seems to have gone off the rails more than once. The article was written with a healthy dose of tongue-in-cheek hyperbole, and some of the posters here have engaged with it in that same vain, which there is nothing wrong with. However, the tone seems to have been missed by others who assumed that it was more literal than sarcasm.

There also appears to be a discussion of privilege and perspective that has arisen during the conversation, which seems to be appropriate and healthy on this topic, but the confusion and heightened emotion over the over-the-top nature of the article and replies seems to be getting in the way of that being constructive.

So, we will unlock the thread later this afternoon when hopefully we can get back to discussing the topic(s) at hand with a little more level-headed approach. We appreciate those that have tried to keep things civil and on topic.

Updated On: 6/29/18 at 12:17 PM

Moderator said: "Hi again everyone, we are going to lock this thread down for a few hours, because it seems to have gone off the rails more than once. The article was written with a healthy dose of tongue-in-cheek hyperbole, and some of the posters here have engaged with it in that same vain, which there is nothing wrong with. However, the tone seems to have been missed by others who assumed that it was more literal than sarcasm.

There also appears to be a discussion of privilege and perspective that has arisen during the conversation, which seems to be appropriate and healthy on this topic, but the confusion and heightened emotion over the over-the-top nature of the article and replies seems to be getting in the way of that being constructive.

So, we will unlock the thread later this afternoon when hopefully we can get back to discussing the topic(s) at hand with a little more level-headed approach. We appreciate those that have tried to keep things civil and on topic."

Cool .

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Poisonivy, But no one on this thread, nor the author of the article, ever stated or implied that Broadway/theater should not be a family activity. Guys and Dolls is the epitome of musical comedy; Secret Garden is very appropriate for families/teens/youth. Neither of these represent the “serious drama” (read: straight dramatic plays) that the author was referring to. Her example was Three Tall Women, which is really not a family activity suitable for most younger kids (they would be bored, no?) How is it a “white person idea” not to bring children to Iceman Cometh, The Flick and Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

The only parents I’ve seen attempt to bring the rare child to a “serious” drama like that ARE white people, and they let their bored children play games on their phones the whole time.

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Humor about theatre etiquette is white privilege.

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Hmm here is a much more reasonable, less abrasive and obnoxious guide to theatre etiquette:

http://etiquette-ny.com/broadway-theater-etiquette-dos-and-donts-for-proper-decorum/

Same rules, but one applies to this thread.

15. Do not be a prissy Miss Manners. Although a person’s behavior may be inappropriate or disruptive, do not take it upon yourself to be the manners police.

It's live theater. You are not entitled to have the perfect, silent theater experience. It doesn't happen. If you go outside anywhere, be it the subway/restaurant/theatre/ballet/opera there will be other people and those other people will not always be perfectly behaved and live up to your standards of behavior. If you find it that intolerable that someone next to you is chewing gum, stay the **** home.

At Angels in America I was seated next to a man who said that he was here to see the play to see how "the devil" thinks. He was talking about Tony Kushner being the anti-Christ and how he needs to see how someone like Kushner thinks so he can vanquish those types of people. It was incredibly weird but you know what? Live theater, you can't choose your seatmates. I found it interesting that he'd sit through an 8 hour play if he was so against its ideas but whatever.

And in my experiences at the theater the people who have felt it okay to hit, push, shove, or curse out another theatergoer have ALWAYS been white. Because if you're a minority and you hit, push, shove, or curse out another person in public, the cops are getting called and you're going home in handcuffs. That IS white privilege.

Updated On: 6/29/18 at 05:49 PM

The article is definitely meant to be a humorous Miss Manners. Amanda used to be my neighbor. Read her Drag Race recaps in the NY Times to get a grasp of her humor...Ru even re-Tweeted her recap of last night’s finale.