Welcome, Anthony Rapp! — Page 193

Oh, Mandi Moo, I LOVE the Cliff icon! So great. Could someone tell the the story behind wax lion? I am out of the loop.

So I just saw the movie again today with a few friends and we where all bawling from Without You on. The entire Without You montage blew me away. Watching Mimi going through withdrawals and Angel through the last phases of his illness was so deeply chilling and realistic and it just gave me shivers to watch. I can't get my mind wrapped around everything, I'm still absorbing. I loved the little Mark quirks though (the eyebrow raise had me doubled over with laughter) and Roger crying broke my heart. Anyways, amazing amazing film, it was everything I could hope for plus more.

And happy thanksgiving to all of you!

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I am amazed.

I admit, I was so, so, so afraid walking into that theater yesterday... I knew that if it wasn't, I don't even know... not good enough, I guess, I would probably have a heart attack. But the reality is that I actually am very proud of this movie. I love the fact that they pay as much homage to the stage show as they can. I loved everything.

And yes, I found the Cliff HIGHLY amusing. Is it sad that I saw it twice in one day with two different people?

There were a lot of little random things that I loved, too... "Maureen, this isn't my bar mitzvah..." "Maybe you two can get back together now..." Jesse's "Merry XMas!" (the first one) and of course, the eyebrows and the smirks in Tango. I adore Anthony. And everyone else, I absolutely love all of the principles and I thought they all did a fabulous job. I missed the lion, though!!! I will definitely have to check next time. Every scene was amazing. I seriously cried 5 times, if I'm counting correctly.

I was crying so hard, and actually shaking from Without You on (I think I kind of scared my friends)... but I don't think anyone really understands how powerful this show is, and how much it means to me (I bet a lot of you probably feel the same way). I mean, it was especially hard for me to watch Angel's death scenes, mostly because I'm aware of the fact that I'm going to lose some of the people closest to me very soon - my brother and my grandmother. I just completely had a breakdown the second time I saw it - Angel's death got my crying pretty good and the Finale just sealed the deal for me, especially watching Mark's film. Just that combination of heartbreak and happiness makes me burst into tears. I finally stopped during the credits, stood up and burst into tears again.

This beautiful thing just means so much to me. I have such profound respect for anyone who has ever been a part of it. I would like to take this opportunity to say THANK YOU again, Johnathan Larson.




P.S. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Oh, and if you actually read all that, I love you.

Updated On: 11/24/05 at 10:31 AM

No, I saw it twice yesterday too.

First the midnight showing by myself, and then again early evening with a couple friends.

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I would have gone twice but the snow was too bad. And I won't actually be seeing it with other people until Saturday most likely.

Pffft, don't feel like a loser for knowing every word to LVB. If I get bored in class I'll write out the entire thing. 2 sheets of paper front and back, fun times. Yeah.

Wax Lion...he's hard to explain. Search for posts by the user 'Wax Lion'

Updated On: 11/24/05 at 11:33 AM

Good morning and happy Thanksgiving. Again.

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I loved how it was started...*le sigh*.

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Without You
A Memoir of Love, Loss, and the Musical RENT

POSSIBLY SPOILERIFIC but then again, not really. It’s hard to delve into the details of the book without relaying the entire story. I’ll only touch on a few items.



So I was sitting in World History lecture a couple weeks ago when I was boredly surfing the net for something to bide my time. I tend to not pay much attention to my professor (and neither does anyone else, as evidenced by the boy playing Super Mario 3 on his laptop in front of me), so the internet and instant messenger is a blessing during these dragging lectures.

Being the silly fan I am, I checked the RENT blog. I knew it tended to update at around noon or so on Mondays and Fridays, and I was looking forward to another video tidbit.

Except this time around, it was a contest to win an advanced copy of Anthony Rapp’s book, Without You. I told myself, “Eh, what the hell,” refreshed the page a few times until the comments started working and posted my address. I didn’t get any word back for awhile.

Until this past Monday, anyway, when I received a “PACKAGE NOTIFICATION” e-mail from the school. I quickly wrapped up my chemistry test and picked up a thick brown envelope from the mail center, complete with a Congratulations letter from Simon & Schuster, and, of course, Anthony Rapp’s signature on the title page of the bright yellow uncorrected edition. I zipped through its 309 pages cover to cover, completing it last evening at around midnight.

After sitting on this review for an entire night, wondering how I was going to express in words a review of this touching account, I realized that… well, some things don’t need to be described. For example, all of us understand that Anthony is a gifted, eloquent writer and speaker. He has this certain ability to pull the reader in and guide him through to the end. A charisma and charm in writing, in speaking, and in acting, if you will. The memoir is an incredibly fast, absorbing read, and I actually found myself a little saddened that it was over so soon.

But at the same time, it’s so personal, so honest, that I couldn’t help but feel like I’d been prying too far into someone else’s life, into business that I shouldn’t be snooping out. If I hadn’t kept telling myself that Anthony Rapp is going to publish this for public sale, I would have felt as if I were doing something naughty. I can imagine it’s incredibly liberating (but at the same time, utterly terrifying) to release all of these intimate feelings to the world.

When I say ‘intimate,’ I mean intimate. Anthony is unafraid to bare the unsmudged truth. Nothing is sugar-coated, and the memoir certainly doesn’t cast himself in a holy light of perfection and glory. From discovering his sexuality to his relationship with his mother to his experiences in RENT… He’s blunt, he’s honest, and he admits when he’s been an asshole or has had a temporary lapse of sanity. He is a living and breathing person, full of mistakes and hope and despair and regrets and flickers of happiness and depression and love and hate just like any other man. Just some guy with a career in acting.

And it’s beautiful. Heartbreakingly beautiful. I feel incredibly touched and privileged to have been one of the ‘early birds’ to experience Anthony’s first completed soul-filled piece of literary work. Silly that it was through a sheer chance contest on a SONY-sponsored blog, huh?

I wish I could say more about it, but there isn’t much I can say that will do it justice. I guess I can say my personal interest in Without You wasn’t only due to the fact that I’m a fan of Anthony’s work and an admirer of his strong, genial personality, but largely in part to my avid interest in human psychology. I have a very deep interest in learning about what makes people tick. And, well… I got what I was curious about and then some. Pain and experience may be the best teacher, but it really hurts me to know all the suffering and death and illness one man was forced to witness.

At the same time, however, it’s a great source of support for those people who are experiencing something similar to Anthony’s plights, be it with gay and lesbian issues, cancer-ridden friends, or otherwise. I’m certain anyone could relate in some way. And, you know, people need all the help they can get during especially difficult times. Sends them a message that they’re not completely alone and there’s always a way out—or “THROUGH,” in this case.

I suppose this was more of a musing over what I had just read than a real review of the material. I truly admire Anthony for his courage. It’s not exactly an easy task to pour your feelings, experiences, and secrets onto paper, let alone publish it for the world to read.

Now that concerns my greatest fear over this material. I’m afraid that some people will read it and suddenly change their opinion of Anthony Rapp. What I have in mind are the younger fans (no insult to anyone on this board! Most of you are mature!) that don’t exactly have the ability to understand how all of his experiences work out. They might be immaturely shocked or amused by some of the more probing instances in the book. In fact, I have a few girls in mind who would react in that exact way.

That aside, I wish Anthony the best success and hope to see more writings from him in the future. Think you’d try your hand at fiction sometime, like your brother?

I fully intend to buy the final version when it is released in February. I hope all of you decide to do the same.

Any questions, people?

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Thanks Lari, that absolutely convinced me that I needed to have that book as soon as it comes out!

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Lari, that was amazing. I already wanted to get the book (I was saddened when both contests ended.) and reading that sort of, puts me in the mindset that it will be worth the wait. Thank you for sharing your reading experience with us and your thoughts. And thank you, Anthony, for writing it.

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Wax Lion!

Crap. I've gotta go now. To an unhappy place with no internet access and lots of carbohydrates.