No other movie has
propelled me out of the auditorium as this one did. I've left movies before they were over before, mostly because my mind was preoccupied with dozens of things I'd rather be doing other than waiting around for the dullness or stupidity to end.
But this one was something else entirely. I did have to take a leak, which is something I haven't left a movie to do in about 30 years, but once I was out of there, I felt such relief, and not just because I peed but because I needed a BREAK. I guess the movie completely stressed me out. I found myself not wanting to go back in the theater, and lingered outside the door for as long as a I could until I thought my boyfriend would be worried that something had happened to me. Plus my coat was in there. I don't really remember how far I had gotten before I had to get out, but by the time I went back in, the Meerkat Manor section was beginning. I never put the 3D glasses back on and waited for the thing to conclude. I would have rolled my eyes at the big reveal inside of the plant on the island, by my eyeballs were already throbbing from the 3D glasses. Come to think of it, I wish we hadn't seen it in 3D, even though Roger Ebert (notorious 3D hater) said it was totally worth it.
Important things I learned: I do NOT like to see the depiction of animals in distress, even if it is clear that they are created using the modern, upgraded process that created the lion in "Bedknobs & Broomsticks." I am not a fan of parables being literalized, I love it on stage in the grand tradition of story telling, but now that ANYTHING can be depicted because computers are making movies, I don't trust the motives behind what is being created. All storytellers manipulate us, but when the computer can create a suffering, injured zebra it hits me somewhere in my brain that sees it as a real animal (because that is the way our brains are wired) and I have to say, I really hate Ang Lee (of all people) getting in there and futzing with the wiring in my head. Some things are parables that do not need to be literally depicted, they are just meant to be told in book form or told from one person or another, and having two stand-ins frame the story does NOT count.
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Updated On: 12/1/12 at 12:21 AM