No offense Grindr, but you're racist...- Page 2

[Kad]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:00pm

They weren't. I was directly responding to a comment that, based on its context, had no indication it was a joke.

Updated On: 9/11/15 at 12:00 PM

[HorseTears]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:05pm

A few weeks ago I totally got the "sorry, I'm not into curry" line.  And he wasn't joking.  

 

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:15pm

Ugh.  Way back in 19 hundred and 87, Tom Wilson Weinberg's landmark "Ten Percent Revue" featured a personal ad song.  One verse featured what a gay man was searching for and ended with the line, "No fats, fens, blacks, Jews or bigots."  I think of that whenever I see a "sorry, it's just my personal preference" profile anywhere. 

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:19pm

I have many White/Caucasian friends but I really don't date White/Caucasian men. So if I had a profile on one of these dating/hook-up apps and wrote something along the lines of : "Not into White/Caucasian Men" does that make me racist?

[TotallyEffed]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:23pm

I understand you, Carlos!

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:28pm

It might mean you're prejudiced and not afraid to put that prejudice right out there. 

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:33pm

I don't think so. It's just a preference of the type of man I want to date and/or have sex with. I do have a lot of White/Caucasian friends. I don't hate them. I just don't prefer them as partners (sexual or otherwise). 

Updated On: 9/11/15 at 12:33 PM

[HorseTears]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:36pm

You are literally using the "some of my best friends are..." line of reasoning.  

 

 

 

Updated On: 9/11/15 at 12:36 PM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:37pm

But by its definition it's a prejudice. You also posted the exact wording people who post "no blacks" post in their profiles. 

Updated On: 9/11/15 at 12:37 PM

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:38pm

That's not my intention. The fact however is that I do have White/Caucasian friends in my circle. 

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:39pm

Did you read the article?  And the burgeoning evidence between sexual race preference and racism? 

 

Now...I think in some ways,it's a more complicated matter for people in a minority and their relationship to members of the majority/oppressor class.  And I agree with the use of Namo's word 'prejudice' as opposed to 'racist,' as racist is systemic.  But you're exhibiting the thought process of the people who post 'No (fill in the blank)' and then follow it up by 'Sorry...it's just a preference.'  The only thing that tells us is that you have made some sort of blanket judgement based on race.  And that's fine...we all do that.  But there's something much deeper below the surface of 'Sorry...it's just a preference.'  As the article states.  If you've read it.  

Updated On: 9/11/15 at 12:39 PM

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:40pm

I have an African-American friend who doesn't date other African-American men. His preference is Latin and White/Caucasian men. Does that make him racist against his own race? 

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:41pm

I'd swap out 'prejudiced' for 'racist'.

But the short answer is 'yes.' 

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:43pm

SonofRobbieJ said: "Did you read the article?  And the burgeoning evidence between sexual race preference and racism? 

 

 

 

Now...I think in some ways,it's a more complicated matter for people in a minority and their relationship to members of the majority/oppressor class.  And I agree with the use of Namo's word 'prejudice' as opposed to 'racist,' as racist is systemic.  But you're exhibiting the thought process of the people who post 'No (fill in the blank)' and then follow it up by 'Sorry...it's just a preference.'  The only thing that tells us is that you have made some sort of blanket judgement based on race.  And that's fine...we all do that.  But there's something much deeper below the surface of 'Sorry...it's just a preference.'  As the article states.  If you've read it.  

 

To be honest I just skimmed through it, but I will take the time to really read it through and process it and then circle back and share my thoughts.

 

It really is an interesting subject. I also have White/Caucasian friends who prefer to date outside their race and not necessarily date men within their own race. I don't these kind of preferences are uncommon. 

 

 

Updated On: 9/11/15 at 12:43 PM

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:44pm

They are not uncommon.  Because racism and prejudice are ubiquitous.  

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:47pm

So if this dude hits you up and you don't respond, you're not only a racist but you're also prejudiced against larger people? Because I'm curious to know where the line is between what your preference is and when you're a "racist"? 



And there are only people who look to hookup with MTF or FTM. Are they sexist or practicing some sort of discriminatory behavior due to their preferences? 

[HorseTears]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:49pm

CarlosAlberto said: "It really is an interesting subject. I also have White/Caucasian friends who prefer to date outside their race and not necessarily date men within their own race. I don't these kind of preferences are uncommon."

 

You're kinda dancing around the fetisization of minorities as well, which is perhaps also worth exploring: 

http://www.****nofetishization.tumblr.com/FAQ

 

 

 

 

Updated On: 9/11/15 at 12:49 PM

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:50pm

I see your point. It's just a preference for some and but at the end of the day it *is* a form of discrimination.

I think maybe I should really look into exactly why it is I feel this way. 

 

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:54pm

But we all discriminate against things. We discriminate against certain types of foods that we prefer to others or films or types of music. It's a natural thing to have preferences in every area of our lives. I mean, if I'm flipping through photos on Scruff, there's just as many white guys that I'm not attracted to as there are other races. But I personally have a strong attraction to a certain type of Indian guy that I will always gravitate towards. Am I racist for this preference? It's just so easy to throw that word around and it brands everyone a racist unless they actively search for members of an opposite race to have sex with, it seems. If you prefer white guys or black guys I don't see any problem whatsoever with that. But if you write in your profile that blacks, "rice" and fatties need not apply - I think that just makes you an asshOle.

[HorseTears]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:54pm

Jordan, just curious, did you read the full article?

 

Oh, and, I was wondering why the link in my prior post wasn't working.  Apparently, this site also censors URLs and this one happened to have the "f" word in it.  One more time:

visit: f*cknofetishization.tumblr.com/FAQ  

 

 

 

Updated On: 9/11/15 at 12:54 PM

[TotallyEffed]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:56pm

I think if you're actually writing, "no blacks" on your profile then you probably are a racist, or at least an as*hole. But not EVERYTHING is racism these days. I don't really date white guys. One day a white guy might sweep me off my feet, who knows! But does it make me racist that I'm not usually as attracted to white guys as say, a Spanish guy? That's just my preference.

AND I HAVE SO MANY WHITE FRIENDS SO DON'T EVEN GO THERE, GUYS.

[TotallyEffed]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 12:57pm

OK, Jordan beat me to it.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 1:02pm

Jordan, these issues always get your dander up!  

 

There are prejudices, everybody has then and could probably benefit from challenging themselves on them; and there is systemic racism that keeps specific groups of people down. Some prejudices feed into racism. Others are fed by racism. 

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 1:03pm

This thread and article is a huge wake up call to me. I never, ever would have considered myself to be a racist, because I considered who I chose to be friends with and who I chose to sleep  or have a romantic relationship with as being mutually exclusive. 

 

I want to apologize to anyone on this thread that I may have offended. It definitely was not my intention.

 

Again, I am going to have to do some soul searching as to why I feel this way. 

 

In re-reading my earlier posts in this thread I am extremely disappointed in myself.

 

I may even have a conversation about this with friends in my circle who prefer to date outside their race and why they feel this way.

 

Updated On: 9/11/15 at 01:03 PM

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 9/11/15 at 1:03pm

I'm prejudiced against men who read The NY Post. Even if they're hot!