Teacher Emphasizes Old-Fashioned Etiquette

[TheatreFan4]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 3:09pm

I don't like it. Seems a little pointless.
Teacher Emphasizes Old-Fashioned Etiquette

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 3:19pm

I thought women were supposed to be able to pull their own chairs in this day and age.

[TheatreFan4]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 3:21pm

Exactly. When did we fall into a time warp back to the 40s?

[jasonf]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 3:25pm

The idea behind it is great. We used to do a cotillion as a special event where we taught things like basic manners, how to tie a tie, and how to speak politely etc. We stopped doing it when the teacher who organized it retired, but despite my initial thought "this is stupid and the kids won't buy into it" they totally did. They were practically BEGGING us to do it again the year after the last time we did it, but in addition to the teacher retiring, NCLB was just kicking in and we didn't have the time to even TRY any more.

I'll be surprised if this teacher is allowed to continue this for very long. Things like politeness or expressing yourself artistically or balancing checkbooks are irrelevant compared to being able to write a full length essay response to an esoteric quote in thirty minutes (upon which your placement and future worth are determined).

[nmartin]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 4:19pm

I'd love to see him come to the ghetto where I teach and try that.

[danmag]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 4:24pm

LOL. They offer a class like this for kids at this place near me called the Philadelphia Cricket Club. In addition to manners and etiquette, they also teach them cotillion-type dancing.

Whenever my sons are being particularly obnoxious I threaten to sign them up for it.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 4:26pm

But he's not teaching them politeness or balancing their checkbooks. He's teaching them that women need men to hold doors and pull chairs for them. That's not polite. It's condescension.
Updated On: 2/21/10 at 04:26 PM

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 4:29pm

I don't see where being polite and having manners is hurting anyone, or is a bad thing.

I'm so old fashioned that it bothers me when a pregnant woman, an elderly person, or a handicapped person is standing on the subway and most of the people sitting are young - no one gets up.

[danmag]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 4:35pm

I agree, Jane. In this day and age of incredible rudeness it doesn't bother me in the least if someone wants to pull out a chair for me or hold the door.

People could use a bit more etiquette, imo.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 4:35pm

I don't think that's old fashioned; I think that's commmon decency. And I think people should offer their seats up for pregnant women, older folks or disabled people. I also hold the door if there's someone coming behind me, male or female.

But I think it's silly to act like in the year 2010 when women are purported to be able to do all the things that men can do, that we should teach young kids that boys are "supposed" to hold doors and pull out chairs for women. It makes no sense.

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 4:38pm

Danmag- let me also say that on occasion, someone will offer me their seat! OY VEY!!!!

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 4:44pm

You were taught in school how to balance a check book? Fancy schoolin'!

I got that at home.

[uncageg]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 4:45pm

Phyllis, you know I adore you but I have to disagree with you. I find that when I do this women are pleasantly surprised and appreciate it. I was raised this way and continue to do these things as an adult. I even was taught to walk on the outside (closest to the curb) of the sidewalk while walking with a female and to exit a bus before a female so you can extend a hand to help her down if need be.

I was always taught to respect women in this way.

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 4:52pm

" That's not polite. It's condescension. "

Not really, Phyll. Going out of your way to help someone is something I would say honors them and makes them feel special. Not being condescended too. I never felt condescension in those situations.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 4:54pm

I would never help a woman just because she was a woman, like it's a handicap or something. Shruggers.

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 4:54pm

ok

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 4:59pm

They should teach these boys to do the girls' math and science homework, too.

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 5:00pm

^ That wouldn't work because the girls are smarter than the boys!

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 5:03pm

Duh. Not in math and science! In Home Ec, though.

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 5:05pm

NOW who's being condescending?

xoxoxox

[jasonf]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 5:06pm

I don't really see it as condescension either. I agree there needs to be a healthy dose of equality taught along with the manners, but kids and teenagers today are SEVERELY lacking in even rudimentary manners such as saying "please" and "thank you". I can't tell you how often I've tried giving something to a student and snatched it back because they didn't say "thank you" to me.

Sometimes going overboard on a lesson is an effective way of targeting a smaller idea. For example, I'll often give my students harder essay topics to deal with in a practice than what they would EVER face on a real test so that when they do the real one they aren't so overwhelmed. Maybe holding doors and pulling out chairs will lead to a few more "please" and "thank you"s, and if so, then good for the teacher!

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 5:12pm

I guess this teaches the girls to say thank you, and it teaches the boys that .... women need men to do things for them?

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 5:15pm

Well, despite all the organizations who believe the contrary, I maintain that men and women are different.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 5:16pm

That's why they didn't used to be allowed to vote.

Imagine being a budding lesbian in that class, wondering if you and and your date will ever be able to actually sit down? Or stand up, for that matter? Updated On: 2/21/10 at 05:16 PM

[SNAFU]

Posted: 2/21/10 at 5:26pm

Most of those practices are left from the time when women were considered the "Weaker Sex".