Welcome, Anthony Rapp! (part two)- Page 148

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 12:53pm

Personally, I don't think children should really be censored in what they read, or watch on TV or the music they listen to. Part of it is a selfish reason. I loathed when my parents told me they didn't think something was appropriate for me and went out of my way to defy them. When my parents wouldn't let me see Good Will Hunting because of the language, I started cursing like a trucker in front of them just to get the point across that there was nothing in the movie that I didn't already know. I was fiercely independent from a young age, so when my parents did anything to set limits on what I wanted to know more about, I went behind their back. Not that I was necessarily bad, but when your parents think that just watching Will and Grace is enough to send you to hell, much of it was more out of curiosity and developing my own worldview that wasn't the same as the narrow-minded one of my parents'.

I'd like to believe that children should be able to maintain their innocence for as long as possible, but that's an impossibility in today's world. As long as the children themselves seek out these things on their own, I think the parents shouldn't be blamed or accused of not "protecting" them. It's better that kids learn about more mature subjects on their own terms, as opposed to this information being forced onto them before they'll understand it, like an older friend telling them at the age of 5 what a condom is used for (thank you, Curtis ).

I mean, even I raised an eyebrow when a girl about 7 years old asked Antonique Smith for her autograph at the stagedoor and her mom said Mimi was her favorite character and she knows all the words to the songs. But even though the girl enjoys it and her parents are comfortable with it, that doesn't mean she's going to turn out morally-corrupt just because she sings "Mucho masturbation" along with her CD (she probably doesn't even understand what that means- kind of like kids thinking LMNOP is one letter from the alphabet song). Learning about these things doesn't meant you're on the pathway to delinquency or it's too advanced for you to understand. I think what effects you is inherently based on your maturity level. If you aren't emotionally ready for it, it'll just go over your head. If you are at a level where you can understand it, then maybe you'll be a bit weirded out at first, but in the long run, you have to learn about it eventually. It's better to be slightly alarmed reading one scene in a book than the giant emotional shock it will be when they're finally jolted out of their parents' protective sphere of influence.

Besides, growing up in a post-Lewinsky world, 11 year olds are definitely aware of what blow jobs are already.

Erm, sorry so long, this is just an issue that I have a lot of personal feelings on.

Updated On: 2/9/06 at 12:53 PM

[secondstar05]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 12:54pm

A little decoration in honor of justkidding coming out of lurkdom (Okay, so I just like posting pictures of him). *giggle*

[secondstar05]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 1:01pm

I agree that children should be allowed to develop their own ideas about certain issues, skittles. I guess I'm just thinking in terms of my own parents, who allowed me the freedom to explore mature issues when I wanted to, but also felt compelled to share in my learning experiences and guide me through them.

[katygrace84]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 1:05pm

I think that's the difference, and what most kids really need, is guidance. parents need to be able to get over their own squirminess on these things and talk to their kids. It seems odd to me that parents seem upset at what their kids are learning but reluctant to talk to them about it.

[justkidding]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 1:05pm

Thanks everyone! In response to Anthony's book: I got the b4 it came out b/c i'm a freak like that with pre-ordering. The first half made laugh and I tried to picture as best as I could what he was experiencing. The second half was so upsetting I cried until I got to the point where I set the book on my desk and pretended it wasn't there for a day. But overall it was very in depth and heartfelt. I now have most of the people I've ever encountered in my entire life dying to read it.

I've become the book's Kansas representative!

[secondstar05]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 1:10pm

Hooray for recruiting more readers! Hehe.

I had the same experience, where I was just so wrecked by it that I had to put the book down for awhile and take a break. I finally went back and finished (HOORAY), and I'm definitely going to start re-reading sometime soon.

Updated On: 2/9/06 at 01:10 PM

[justkidding]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 1:13pm

My only issue with the book, and it isn't even really in issue, is that some parts were a little bit....too personal. Even though AR had wrote them in his book I felt like I was being invasive as though it were his diary. I'm pretty sure that most of you know which parts I'm talking about.!:

[secondstar05]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 1:16pm

I understand exactly what you mean... I didn't take issue with them or anything like that, but there were certain parts where I did feel kind of intrusive, as if I didn't deserve to share in the knowledge of those experiences. I am definitely grateful that he was willing to be so open in including them in the book, though.

Updated On: 2/9/06 at 01:16 PM

[justkidding]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 1:22pm

Me too. I'm really happy that even his random everyday life was interesting.

My book probably would suck. I'd end up writing 3 chapters on different ways i like to cook eggs or something!

[tlp70]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 1:28pm

Skittles, I feel very much the same way you do, which is why I try and not shelter my kids from too much. I wasn't sheltered too much as a child and I feel I turned out okay. Better than okay in most instances. I really avoided a lot of the common teenage pitfalls, mainly because I didn't feel the need to rebel against anything. When my mom gave me a curfew, I broke it all time. Once she stopped telling me what time to be home, I came home early. I don't know why. It just seems to be a natural tendency for kids to do the opposite of what their parents tell them.

Plus, I have seen a lot of sheltered kids and it downright scares me. I'd rather talk to my kids about too much than not enough. Some of the lyrics in Rent are obviously tricky to explain to a young child, but my kids pretty much accept that they just shouldn't say certain things and that I'll explain it to them when they're old enough. They're also really good at knowing what material is okay to take on the bus or to share with other kids. It's pretty much Disney and KidzBop on the bus and w/friends, but Rent at home with me.

[Bohemian1232]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 1:31pm

Really well said, skittles. I agree. Kids should be able to find out what they want on their own time.

[secondstar05]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 1:36pm

Alright guys, I'm off to take a test in Journalism. Not feeling very confident about it, so... cross your fingers for me! *sigh*

[xM3L24x]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 1:38pm

good luck!

I agree skittles.

[tlp70]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 1:38pm

Good Luck!

[MissMonika]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 1:52pm

i finished it last night. omgosh, talk about crying jags. i was a total mess after reading it. don't worry, i won't give anything away. for those who haven't read it yet, be prepared with a box of tissues.

some parts did feel like i was invading into someone's diary. i'm really glad he was so open with his writing but i dunno, i felt a lil uncomfortable reading about some of the really personal stuff.

overall, i'm really happy i read it. it's really beautiful and touching

Posted: 2/9/06 at 2:01pm

Hey guys! I'm so glad you all are liking the book. I do have (yet another) question though. On the first anthony rapp thread, someone posted a link you could go to to watch a video of Anthony at the Open House dvd release party. Does anyone still have this link at all? (I'm trying to search through the pages of posts on the first message board but I think I'm going insane from doing so) If anybody could help me out, that would be great!

[jlc6314]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 2:05pm

If you go to the open house myspace page...it's on there under the video blogs.

Posted: 2/9/06 at 2:09pm

thank you so so much!

[RENThead414]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 3:14pm

As a RENT fan since age 11, I definately agree with those saying that the themes and subject matter of both RENT and "Without You" shouldn't necessicarily be censored just due to the age of the audience. That being said, both of my parents definately knew about my RENT obsession and didn't try to stop me from listening to it. I think it all comes down to the question of maturity, not a specific age or number. When I was 11, my aunt committed suicide, my father was an alcoholic, and my grandmother had been bedridden ever since I was a baby; that being said, I was sort of already used to things like drug use, illness, and death that sort of come up in both RENT and (now, much later lol) in "Without You." I think you parents are right in making the decisions of letting your kids be exposed to these things; like someone else already said, kids can't stay kids forever.

*steps off soap-box*

[pengwendolyn]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 3:19pm

I still haven't gotten very far in the book. It's amazingly written, I'm just having too much fun savouring it. I doubt I'll have time to read it tonight (it's too big to fit into my purse) as I'm going to see some play with my mom (I should find out which one).

I think that parents should be aware of what younger kids are reading, just to make sure that it's age-appropriate. 'Cause there are things that my parents wouldn't let me watch (ahem... The Simpsons) because they didn't think it was good for me to watch when I was 7. Though that was more language related, as I grew up watching Star Trek, Hercules, Sinbad, and Xena, so I was always like "hey... she chopped his head off... awesome!". I just think that there are some things that kids shouldn't read. ::shrugs::

Welcome newbies!

[secondstar05]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 3:30pm

See, my mother's method was, if she had any concerns about something I wanted to watch, she would watch it herself first, and then decide whether or not it was appropriate for me. She never just flat-out said "no" to something without first examining it and then explaining to me why she did or did not approve of my watching it. I feel that this was a good method, because I appreciated the fact that she took the time to examine the facts and give me an explanation, instead of just forbidding me to see something, and I never really felt the need to rebel or go behind her back about stuff like that.

[tlp70]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 3:37pm

RENThead414, You are so right about the maturity thing, especially when it comes to life experience. Unfortunately, we lost an Uncle to AIDS when the children were very young, so his sexuality and his disease have always been discussed in normal conversation in our home. My children aren't phased by it, where some people may consider it sensitive subject matter. I mean my kids don't bat an eye at the Collins/Angel relationship, where I can definitely see other kids their age being slightly confused. It's just something they've always known about, so it's not exactly shocking or even all that different to them.

[RachLaura]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 3:41pm

I think that many times you, or I should say parents, can't be too general with what they allow and forbid their children to watch,read,etc. In many cases, there are 12 year olds that are MUCH more mature than 16 year olds. Someone 3 years younger than someone else could be more mature when exposed to ideas and issues presented in the media, and more capable of handling such nature. That's why I think, secondstar, that what your mother did is a great method in handling the censorship of certain entertainment with children. It's important parents know how mature their child is, and know that pg-13 may be fine for their 10 year old, or a little too much for their 15 year old.

[pengwendolyn]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 3:43pm

Yeah, it all depends on the child in question. There's things that I watch now (I'm 17) that my parents come in while I'm watching and they're just like "we-ell" but they know I'm going to watch them anyway. They just worry.

[CanadianSnowbird]

Posted: 2/9/06 at 3:49pm

My parents didn't really censor me. My dad did, but I think that was more for his own comfort. He still gets squeamish around me when sex is on tv. He's got issues with girly things or something. I just remember him fast-forwarding through Jenny playing the guitar naked in Forrest Gump. I was able to talk him into letting me rent Rated R movies when I started high school though, I think as long as he didn't have to watch it with me he didn't care. I would always tell him "it's just swearing, and I hear that at school." "I know about sex from school." He also used to turn the volume down during Les Mis's Master of the House for "raise it up the Master's ass". Sometimes he'd forget. He also told me that Fantine's husband died (which he now denies, I just found out when I went to see it in October that in fact she was not married, and he just left her).