I was there tonight. Whenever they revive Next to Normal, instead of giving Diana electroshock therapy the doctor should send her to the Lincoln Center Library (this bomb surely won’t be running) to watch the tape and I guarantee she’ll be cured!
Every once and a while a show comes along that’s so inept, and this is the Mt. Vesuvius of ineptitude, that you have to seriously wonder how it got put on stage. Like The Room needed The Disaster Artist, Escape to Margaritaville needs a book to explain how the %#!* this got made.
Let’s start with some sample lines, shall we:
I think I look pretty good. Whenever I get naked in the bathroom the shower gets turned on.
I once bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping.
(Upon opening some treasure) What’s in there? Gold? Diamonds? Bitcoins- whatever the hell those are?!?!
There’s even a lyric change to they can sing about not wanting to go to Mar-a-Lago.
Act one is overly long and a colossal bore. Nothing happens. Act two luckily has a few campy moments and the plot goes into warp speed literally zooming years into the feature. It’s an unholy mess, but there are a few unintentional laughs.
As for the actors, Lisa Howard probably never thought she’d be in worse than It Shoulda Been You, but that clunker feels like Hamlet compared to this stinker.
Poor Paul Alexander Nolan. He suffered through the JCS revival and Dr. Z, only to come out safely on the other side to do Bright Star. Sure, that flopped too, but it was more than respectable and he was very good in it. Had nice chemistry with Cusack. Unfortunately Margaritaville sends him back in the Dr. Z direction. Hope he makes it out of this one alive to see another day...
It doesn’t help that he and Alison Luff, saddled with the blandest of bland character, have the romantic sizzle of cold oatmeal.
Yes, there is an old man who walks around looking for his lost shaker of salt.
Every line of dialogue is a set-up for some song lyric. Nothing is organic.
I usually go back to see shows again in previews, even bad ones; I saw Wonderland in this same theater three times and it was better. That’s how bad this was! But I will not be making a return visit to the Marquis. You would think that Home for the Holidays was enough pain for one season, but then fate throws this in our path. My God be with us all.
Marie: Don't be in such a hurry about that pretty little chippy in Frisco.
Tony: Eh, she's a no chip!