Explain your favorite broadway show horribly — Page 4

Some Spanish people are in the heights and they’re  trying to get out of the heights but they can’t because the power goes out and two of them have sex. 

The crooner from that early 2000s eBay commercial leaves Liza Minnelli for Mako Tsunami, and I spend a majority of the second act crying.

Masked guy can't get laid, so he murders people. 

Attorney General Bill Barr summarizes Broadway shows:  Something like that...

The list even gets Barr's politics correct:

Sweeney Todd: “A barber reunites with his wife.”

Company: “A man named Bobby turns 35.”

Hello, Dolly!: “A woman returns to her favorite restaurant.”

Dear Evan Hansen: “A kid plants an orchard.”

Hamilton: “A widow establishes an orphanage.”

Rent: “An HIV-positive singer writes a song.”

The Sound of Music: “A family decides to leave Austria.”

Fiddler on the Roof: “A family decides to leave Anatevka.”

West Side Story: “Gang members abuse police officer.”

Little Shop of Horrors: “Man feeds plant.”

Les Miserables: “French policeman drowns.”

Annie: “President Roosevelt introduces the New Deal.”

Wicked: “Tornado ravages the Midwest.”

Cabaret: “A loose performer shamefully gets an abortion.”

Chicago: “Complete and total exoneration for Roxie and Velma.”

 

• Woman makes joke about being almost 30

• People get dramatically sentimental when someone twists their ankle

• Everyone dresses in glittery matching outfits... with hats

R&H big five

Nun marries nationalist and emigrates.

Winsome farm girl chooses corny cowboy over edgy dude living in her barn.

Long- suffering widow forgives dead abusive husband

Westerner teaches Asian tyrant manners.

Having successfully overcome her own bigotry, cockeyed perkster rewarded with DILF in paradise






 

Updated On: 3/30/19 at 09:35 AM

Manipulative, lonely widow upends everyone’s lives to land a rich husband she doesn’t love.

henrikegerman said: "Winsome farm girl chooses corny cowboy over edgy dude living in her barn."

At first I thought this was Whistle Down the Wind.

 

A guy in a purple shirt falls off the wagon because nobody wants to eat his snacks.

Sad American writer tells the tragic story of when he fell in love with a prostitute/performer in a nightclub/dance hall. There’s dancing, drinking, play writing, an elephant, and the color red. Lots and lots of red.

A soldier and his wife crash a house party. The soldier shoots at a lawyer which makes everyone fall in love with a different person. Then the party hostess dies. Curtain.

A young girl rides a bus.